Would You Miss Me?


Would you miss me?

Every day I look at my reflection and wonder at what I have become.
Am I someone you can be proud of?
Or am I simply someone from the past?
Someone who is worth forgetting?

Would you miss me?

I’m too scared to ask you such a question.
You never answer me honestly when I ask you these things.
I’m always so nervous.
Am I so cowardly that I hide from my own truths?

Would you miss me?

I feel the loneliness upon me again.
It’s silent; it creeps up on you like a spider. You never notice it until it’s near.
The cold is so comforting; I could lose myself in it.
Yet if I lose myself, don’t I lose you as well?

Would you miss me?

Would you miss me if I were gone?
Would you wonder about me for long?
Or would you decide that I just wasn’t strong,
And that I would never have stayed around for long?

Would you miss me?

Would you miss me if I died?
Would you ponder about all the times you lied?
Or would you have to decide,
Whether or not to confide,
In your own soul, seeking solace from the pain you can’t hide?

Would you miss me?

If I were to go away and never come back,
Would you cry over all the good times we lacked?
Or would you just recap,
And forget me?

Would you miss me?

You won’t miss me.
I can see it already as I can see the sunset on the horizon.
You see, we smile and pretend that we are brothers and sisters,
Yet when all is said and done,
We are just as alone as we were to start with.

So your missing my absence,
Really will be a waist of patience,
Because of my insolence,
And my insignificance.

So in answer to my own inquiry,
To write down in my personal diary,
Would you miss me?
My answer is simply,
A fish may miss the sea,
As bird may miss its tree,
But you, with your words of encouragement, put so gently,
Would find little joy in missing one so fallen as me.


-Elisabeth Spalding