These Tears Of Mine

These tears of mine;
Have you always taken them for granted?
That I may sob over your demise and
Your terror?
Your pain?
And you not even feel emotion?
Some say you are unworthy
Of my sorrow,
My destitute, disillusioned woe.
Perhaps you are,
But as I lie in the sunshine
Of your unconditional love and affection,
It does not seem so.

These tears of mine;
They’re shed over your final resting place
For you and no one else.
I won’t weep before strangers,
Nor before those superficial beings
Who mean nil to us.
But save for you my tears and laments,
Though you won’t hear them.
Perhaps you’ve never heard them.
Perhaps all these years you’ve lied
And simply used me for your carnal needs.
But what a proficient con-artist you’d have been
To love me with such passion,
Yet truly be so empty of affection and compassion.

Can it be that I am truly alone?
Are you looking down at me,
My guardian angel,
From some ethereal cloud in God’s kingdom?
Are there fields of white irises for as far as the eye can see?
Have you sprinkled them with your radiant presence yet?
How I envy those blessed flowers,
Flowers that are gifted with your smile and flawless grace
Day in and day out.
Perhaps it is always sunny there,
Or are you the rain that gives them nourishment?
Would these tears of mine tarnish your purity now,
Beautiful lover of mine?

-Elisabeth Spalding