2. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.
3. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.
4. I prefer to remain an enigma.
5. My stepmother has come back as one of the Undead and we tracked her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace.
6. I drank one too many six packs last night
7. I've been in quarantine
8. I was surfing the web and didn't realize what time it was.
9. The Queen invited me round for breakfast.
10. A large flying donut appeared in my garden and I had to go out and eat it before it disappeared.
11. My cat ate my mouse, and the lizard ate my keyboard.
12. My neighbor had a UFO visitation in his corn field, and I was helping him assess the damage for the insurance adjustor.
13. There was a tidal wave that hit my house..but it was just my house,so you won't see it on the news or anything.
14. My psychic told me that I wouldn't be late if Saturn and Mars were aligned......Well, they weren't.
15. The bartender wouldn't let me leave.
16. I saw a bright shiny object.
17. The wind was blowing against me.
18. I was delayed by a rip in the space-time continuum.
19. Was making the world safe from terrorist scum, lost track of time.
20. I had to find my PC.
21. Slight case of death.
22. I woke up tied to the bed and couldn't get free.
23. Attacked by rabid IRS agents.
24. I had to floss the cat.
25. My roommate locked me in the bathroom.
26. The line at Starbucks was out the door.
27. Was abducted by some aliens whose faces kinda looked like Jamie Farr.
28. I swear! the road split, and i was warped into the Land of the Lost!
29. I died and I gotta go to the funeral.
30. I saw a rare species of elephant and had to help it get to the zoo.
31. I was taken by aliens and sold as a sex slave to Blubba the Gut.
32. It's my alarm clock's fault. It's never been the same since I hit it with that sledgehammer.
33. I was attacked by a squad of army ants.
34. Let's just say that Bigfoot doesn't take "no" for an answer.
35. I'm not late, I'm punctually challenged.
36. It's my parents fault, I'm genetically predisposed to tardiness.
37. I was trying to get the static charge out of my clothing.
38. An elephant was hogging the water fountain.
39. Accidently stepped into an alternate dimension.
40. My parents grounded me.
41. My Illicit Bingo card dealer got busted and I needed to find a new one.
42. I tripped in the parking lot outside..just regained consciousness.
43. My lizard bit my clicker finger.
44. MID GOT ME!!! ..... still bleeding.
45. NASA never gave me back my nuke sneaks.
46. Going on strike until Fancy sends a pic
47. I am searching for myself and havent been having any luck yet. Am I in here?.
48. Daughter on computer, Homework comes first?????
49. My puter had an identity crisis so had to spend morning downloading new software....and calling support to get it to work.
50. The OTHER half wouldn't get off the $%^&* phone!!