Darkness began to settle upon a small group of weary travelers as they emerged
from the North Downs mountains and entered the rough, hilly terrain of The Weald on that fateful day in the year 1900. The group contained ten people who were making a pilgrimage to the ancient city of Canterbury. The group contained a woodsman, a soldier, a prostitute, a preacher, a blacksmith, a carpet bagger, a ditch digger, a school teacher, a farmer with two dogs and a barber. They journeyed another five miles before riding off the path to a small revine
surrounded by lush trees and overgrown hills. The group disbanded and began to
gather small pieces of wood and twigs from the ravine floor, from which the woodsman quickly produced a fire.
They began to drift off to sleep, except a small group of four who remained around the fire telling stories and drinking ale. As the night wore on, the carpet bagger and the ditch digger both passed out, leaving the blacksmith and teacher alone. The blacksmith drew a bottle of red wine from his pocket, took a few swigs and began to sing in Portugese. He rambled on for a while, pausing for a moment as something awoke the farmer's dogs causing them to run off into the woods in search of the source of the disturbance. He watched the dogs for second, then returned to his singing. Then there was the sound of the dogs running through the wilderness, barking as they chased the unseen culprit; followed by several bone-chilling shrieks; followed by deathening silence.
The two men nervously glanced at each other for a brief moment before leaving to investigate. They left the warm, red glow of the fire and vanished into thee deep, dark, frigid forest. They walked for about a half mile when they came upon a bloody mess. The teacher knelt down to try to identify the remains. It was that of the dogs. What was left of the carcass had huge claw marks covering the hide and the stomachs has been eaten. As the teacher returned to his feet, a body leapt from the trees above and with one mighty swipe, slashed the throats of both men before dragging them off into the darkness.
The creature returned to the pilgram's camp and quietly rummaged throught their belongings. It took any money and jewlery it could find and placed the treasures into a large leather pouch worn about its waist. It staggered over to the carpet bagger and took his jug of ale. The being hurriedly ripped off the cork and drank two mouthfuls before violently spitting it onto the ground and uttering in a slow, primative, gravelish voice something that resembeled "Panther Piss!" It reached into it's pouch and pulled out a large bottle containing a dark brown liquid. The beast feverishly chugged the contents, losing some down the sides of its mouth and onto its scarcely haired chest, then discarded the empty bottle onto the ground. It shook its head then proceeded to go throught the pilgram's belongings once more.
The beast transformed itself into a shapely young women and softly cried "tee-hee, tee-hee." The ditch digger quickly awoke when he heard the lovely voice of a young lady. She watch him arise and walk toward her, then she slowly made her way into the forest, making sure he followed. She came upon a brief clearing in the trees and waited for him to catch her. The ditch digger stared into her hazel eyes andbegan to passionately kiss her, full savourly. She began to slowly kiss the ditch digger on his cheek and gradually made her way to his neck where she briefly paused. Then exposing her razor sharp teeth, she dug into his throat killing him as he let out a final scream. The soldier heard his cry and ran into the darkness to help. He ran toward the woman with his sword gleaming in the moonlight. The woman nimbly evaded and hit him with a right cross, laying him out like wholesale carpet. She quickly pounced upon him and ate out his stomach.
The woman transformed herself back into her original form and made its way to the group's horses. The carnivorus creature untied then smacked the horses sending them scattering throughout the forest. Finally it made its way into the hills above the ravine to the cave where it lived.
The cave was cluttered with boxes of items the beast had stolen from other travelers using the nearby path to Canterbury. The boxes contained mostly money and jewels, which the animal liked to play with for hours, running its fingers through the goods. The cave smelled like hell. The beast itself was extremely smelly and there were the partially eaten bodies of a few travelers, including the teacher and the blacksmith. There were also several empty bottles covering the floor of the cave, as well as several full ones. The label of the bottle couldn't be made out from the light shining from the moon into the cave entrance. The creature consumed another bottle, then passed out for the remainder of the evening.
The next day the farmer woke up and looked around, noticing that four of their party were missing as well as his dogs and the horses. He felt his pockets and realized that he had been robbed. Quickly he woke the remaining members and told them about his discovery. At first they thought that a group of thieves had ridden by and stole all of their items. After they searched the camp, they noticed an empty bottle of Jack Daniels whisky and several footprints belonging to an animal of some sore. They began to track them.
After half an hour of tracking the footprints, they came upon the bloody bodies of the ditch digger and soldier. The woodsman looked at the remains of their two slain pilgrims and noticed the claw and teeth marks. "Only one creature makes marks like that," he said. "Them's troll marks!" A hugh gasp emerged from the crowd as they discovered what kind of creature they were dealing with.
Everyone knew that trolls were one of the most dangerous creatures that inhabited the Earth. They were horrid carnivores that can be found in nearly every clime. A troll knows no fear and attacks unceasingly, with the ability to take on three opponenants at once. One of the things that makes a troll dangerous is their ability to regenerate. If you chop a troll up the individual troll pieces will fight on, and eventually the troll will come back together and fight again. Some trolls can possess a magical power, and if they get ahold of a bottle of Jack Daniels, they become almost invincible. There are only two ways in which to kill a troll. One is to burn the ferocious beast and the other is to submerge it in a bath of acid.
For several hours the group searched for the troll's cave, but were unsucessful. Soon dusk began to fall across the valley and they knew that the troll would soon come out of hiding. As the hours wore on, and the crew continued to fail their mission of the troll, it awoke and left the cave. The beast could smell the travelers roaming through the dark expanse of woods, as trolls have a very acute sense of smell in addition to superior infra-vision allowing it to see ninety feet in the dark. It left the cave with a new supply of Jack as well as a few items to use against his next victims.
He ran through the woods, periodically stopping to sniff the air for the intruder's scent. He saw them a short distance ahead and approached quietly. The preacher was the last in the group. They troll reached into it's leather pounch and withdrew a thick King James Bible and hurled it through the air, striking the preacher thunderously on his head, knocking him out cold. As he fell to the ground, the group forged ahead, unaware that he had been taken out. The troll slashed the preacher's body with his clawed feet and hands, sending the preacher to meet his maker.
The troll cautiously snuck up behind the barber and once again reached into its pounch. This time it withdrew a sharp straight razor. The razor gleamed brightly in the moonlight as the beast raised it above its head. The group saw the reflection from the blade and turned around just as the troll slashed the barber's throat. It then tossed the blade to the ground and dashed into the woods readying itself for the next encounter with the pilgrims.
The prostitute became fearful of being killed herself and ran off into the woods hoping to avoid the troll. She ran and ran when she came upon what seemed like a mound. It was about four feet high and just as long with an opening on both ends. A small stream ran through the opening in the back of the mound. She looked around and decided to hide inside the mound. She noticed several bottles of Jack Daniels and a horrible smell. As she searched the cave she found dozens of boxes filled with jewelry and money; then the woman began filling her pockets just as the troll re-entered. It saw the woman stealing its treasures and ran toward her. She turned to run away and ran smack into the cave wall, knocking herself out old. Troll troll drug the prostitute over to the back of the cave and looked for something to tie her up with. It found a rope that it had stolen from a victim on a previous pilgrimage and quickly bound the woman. It wouldn't kill her just yet, it wanted to go after the remaining people, then take care of the wench.
The troll ran down one of the paths leading through the woods and set a trap for the visitors. The warped-minded beast tied a vine across the path, out of plain view where the men would trip over it. It then hooked a pitchfork to the ned of a vine in the trees so that when the wire tripped, the pitchfork would swing down at them. The troll next ran down a path where the pilgrims were traveling and waited for them to spot it. As they came around the bend in the path, there is was, standing on the path staring at them with drool flowing like Niagara Falls.
It could plainly be seen in the bright light of the full moon shining directly overhead. The horrid creature was about four feet tall with a short stubby tail and a nose like a cucumber. It has claws on its hands and feet as well as razor sharp teeth. It had two dull black eyes and shoulder-length iron grey twisted hair. The monster's hide was a nauseating moss green and putrid grey with thin hair covering it's body.
The beast ran down the path in the direction from which it came, but slow enough that the men could keep it in sight as they followed it hot pursuit. The troll led them down another path toward the trap it laid. It could easily see the wine stretching across the raod with it keen eyesight, but the men would probably be unable to. As it came to the vine, it nibbly hopped over it unharmed. As the men followed, the carpet bagger tripped over the vine, knocking him to the group just before the pitchfork flung down, harpooning the farmer and impailing him upon a tree along the side of the path.
The other two men kept chasing the beast relentlessly before they came upon a large stream. The beast reached into its pouch and pulled out another bottle of Jack Daniels, which it immediately devoured. The troll then smashed the bottle against a rock, and with jagged edges dancing in the moonlight, turned and ran at the party, bowling over the carpet bagger and depositing the bottle in his throught before dashing off into the darkness.
The woodsman was the only one left and began to track the troll. He came upon the troll who was bent over on the ground sharpening a couple of axes with a rock. The man took a knife from his boot and ran upon the troll, slicking its arm with the sharp blade. The troll turned and kicked the woodsman, sending him flying against a nearby tree. The man rested for a second before running at the beast again. He slashed the troll repeatedly, but the troll held him down and picked up one of the newley sharpened axes. As the woodman kept cutting at the fearless demon, the troll came down with the ax across the neck of the man, severing his head. The troll continued to chop the headless human, turning him into an undertaker's nightmare.
The battered, bloody beast slowly trogged back to its cave where it leaned up against a wall and slowly slid to the floor. It pulled out a bottle of Jack and slowly savored it as the wounded creature began to heal. Within twenty minutes it had completely healed, stood up and made its way toward the bound woman. Normally a troll would have just eaten her as she was, but this time it wanted to try something different. It ripped off her clothes, and picking up a medium-sized round rock, began to pound her body, tenderizing it. She fell unconsious from the several sharp blows she received. The beast opened a new bottle of Jack and rubbed it over the woman's shapely body for flavor. It then gathered some wild onions and a few flowers it found at the mouth of the cave. The creature left the confines of the cave for a minute and returned with two firm branches, each about four feet tall with a fork on an end of each and one thick, straight branch, approximately six feet long. The troll build a fire in the middle of the cave and plummeted a forked branch on each side of the fire, wit hthe fork in the air. Next the beast grabbed the pile of flowers and onions it gathered and rammed them inside the woman for spice. It grabbed her and tied her body to the long branch, then placed it in the forks above the fire. The woman awoke as the troll stood in front of her carefully turning the stick, rotating the woman and slow-roasting her. She began to scream and the troll began to think of something to cram in her mouth to shut her up. It found something... a half-eaten apple, covered with dirt. It forced the apple into her mouth, making her air-tight.
As dawn approached the woman was almost done cooking. The troll cut off a piece of her hind quarters and sat down with a half empty bottle of Jack. Then it sampled its handy-work. "Yum!", it thought to itself. "That is the best piece of ass I've ever had!" It cut off a few more slices and rested while it finished the bottle.
Then a puff of smoke appeared inside the cave and Beelzebub appeared! Satan spoke "Brother troll, your work here is done. Your skills are needed elsewhere. I am sending you to another place in another time to do my bidding." Satan waves his hand in the direction of the troll and a loud boom was heared that echoed throught the countryside. Then there was darkness.
When the troll regained its vision, he looked around to see where he was. He was in the form of a young man whose ID read Mark Trollinger and was standing in front of two tall, brick pillars with a black iron arch connecting them. He had two big bags on his shoulders, a suitcase in each hand and a pouch about his waist. The arch had several greek letters on both sides and the letters "RGC" across the top. This place was a small town in the United States in a territory called Ohio. The town was named Rio Grande and the year was 1989.
He slowly walked down the sidewalk where he passed several brick buildings with many beautiful trees. He was given a room to stay in and was treated well by the inhabitants of this place called Rio Grande. He made his way to his room and found that he had to dwell with three human whom he quickly began to get along with. There were several modern items of clothing, modern day music which he loved to play at great volume, some objects called school supplies and several bottles of Jack Daniels.
He spent the first three months learning about the school and its residents before deciding to get involved in the school's activities. He joined a fraternity called Tau Kappa Epsilon and found many wonderful people, including ones called Beast, Gumby and Buzzard. The group of men he entered the fraternity with also had wonderful names such as Crevice, Funky and Shaker. They asked what he wanted to be called. "Troll" he said as he withdrew a bottle of Jack from his pouch.
After he became a member he got to know almost everyone on campus and by the end of his second year had almost become a legend. Everyone knew him and respected his love for Jack. He drank often and did things most dared not to, tapping into his fearless character. People didn't start trouble with him because they felt he was something different from them. Something from a harder, more violent time. Everyone soon learned, but no one dared challenge the moral to this story:
Don't fuck with Troll after he's been drinking Jack!"
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