VS.
MILLIONS OF YEARS AGO
THE FUNKASAURUS REX AND
THE HIPHOPAPOTOMUS WERE
THE BEST RAP DUO AROUND!
THEY FUNKED UP THE MEZOZOIC ERA
AND MOST OF THE PALEOLITHIC ERA
UNTIL ONE DAY, THE HIPHOPAPOTOMUS EVOLVED
HIS SOUND. THE DUO COULDN�T WORK TOGETHER
ANY LONGER AND SLOWLY SANK INTO THE
TAR PITS DURING A LEGENDARY
BATTLE RAP
THEY STAYED THERE, TRAPPED IN THE GOO WHICH
PRESERVED THE FUNK UNTIL IT WAS RELEASED BY A TEAM
OF ARCHEOLOGISTS.
THIS IS THEIR STORY!
FUNKASAURUS REX VS. THE HIPHOPAPOTUMUS
STRAIGHT OUT THE TAR PITS AND THERE AIN�T NO STOPPING THIS
GIVING TO YOU PREHISTORIC PER DIEM
RESURRECTED IN THE MUSEUM FOR EVERYONE TO SEE EM�
(FUNKASAURUS REX)
AH YES, I'M THE FUNKASAURUS REX
PIMPIN' MY SHIT, COLLECTIN THE CHECKS,
MONEY COMES EASY, CAUSE PREHISTORIC GIRLS IS SLEAZY
I JUST SMILE AND SAY �WHERE�S MY MONEY?�
STICKS AND STONES, HELL NAW, I EAT RAW,
CHOMPIN' MOTHERFUCKAS WIT MY BIG-ASS JAW
FLIPPIN� ROUND YOUR GRAGEL? PIT, OH SHIT, FUNKY'S GOT THE RHYMES, HIP'S ALL BIT,
FRED FLINTSTONE,
YO WILMA AIN�T HOME,
LET�S PICK UP BARNEY AND
GO SMOKE A BONE
CAUSE I DON�T FUCK AROUND WHEN IT COMES TO THE GREEN,
I MAY EAT MEAT, BUT GREEN MAKES MY SKIN GLEAM.
STEP BACK, WHEN YOU SEE ME COMIN�
I KILL SMALL VILLAGES WHEN I�M RUNNIN,
WHEN FUNK STEPS UP, THE SUCKAS BE FALLIN<
WHEN I HIT THE SHIT, YOU BE BAWLIN�
SO WHEN YOU SEE ME KICKIN� STONES,
AND PREHISTORIC DIRT,
REMEMBER FUNK GONNA STOMP, BABY,
IT GONNA HURT.
(HIP-HOP-APOTAMUS)
A MILLION BC LIVIN AIN�T EASY
AND SOME OF THESE CREATURES BE SO GREASY AND SLEAZY
HIPHOPAPOTUMUS IS THE NAME, RAPPIN MY GAME
AND THE WORLD IS NEVER GONNA BE THE SAME
LIFE IS SO PLAIN
FUNKASAURUS REX YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED
YOU AIN�T GOT NO GAME (NO GAME?)
GOIN� AT IT RAW DOG, LIVIN� HIGH ON THE HOG
BUT SOON BOUT� TO FALL OFF THE LOG
YOU MAY BE A CARNIVORE BUT I LOVE THE HERB
YOU MAY WALK UPRIGHT WHILE I�M CHILLIN� IN THIS COOL WATER WORLD
MY MOUTH WIDE OPEN NEVER CHOKIN� ON NO BONE
AND I�M THE ONE WHO INVENTED SMOKIN� FOOL, I SET THE TONE
I GROAN IN MY AQUA THRONE AS I MAKE THE LADIES MOAN CAUSE�
I�M MAKIN� LOVE IN THE MUD NOT ON THE HARD STONE
YOU ALWAYS ALONE ON THE ROAM
WITH YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH GRIN NOW YOU GO ON
GET UP OUT OF MY FACE, SHIT WHAT�S THAT SMELL
YOUR DIGESTIVE TRACT ALL SHOT TO HELL
WITH PARASITES, BUT THE RELATIONSHIP AIN�T SYMBIOTIC
CRYOGENICLY FROZEN IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN SURVIVE
BUT I�LL STILL BE ALIVE, AFTER THE SHIT HITS (BOOM!)
BIG BANG FLIPS THE SCRIPT
YO, BIATCH BRING ON THE APOCOLYPSE
Funk: THIS WAS JUST A LITTLE PREAMBLE
Hip: YES THIS WAS JUST A TINY SAMPLE
Funk: ALTHOUGH THE WARNING WAS AMPLE
Hip: WE LIKE THE BULL RUN IN SPAIN AND YOU GET TRAMPLED
Funk: GIVE ME MOTHERFUCKIN� MICROPHONE
Hip: BRING DOWN THE FIRE AND BRIMSTONE
Funk: THEN WE WILL BOTH BE GONE
BOTH: OH NO!!!
Hip: WELL, YOU SEE I'M MAGICALLY DELICIOUS
Funk: AND LIKE FLINSTONE VITAMINS, I�M OH SO NUTRIOUS
Hip: MIXING LARGE, ROUND, AND FRUITIOUS
Funk: WE GETTIN BIG, NASTY, AND VICIOUS
Hip: YO, FUNK DO YOU THINK WE CAN DO THIS?
Funk: HIP HOP, NO DOUBT WE�LL RUN THROUGH THIS!
Hip: ALL THESE MOTHER FUNKERS ACTING CLUELESS
Funk: YO, HOP, LET�S TAKE EM� ON TRIP
Hip:
ON A SCHOOLBUS AND SUCH AS RUST BUILDS UP
AND EATS OUR MENTAL�THE DRAWINGS OF US COME OUT OF YOU�RE PENCILS
I GRAB THE NEAREST UTENCIL AND GET ALL SENTIMENTAL
I NEVER WANTED TO GIVE UP MY FARM BUT IT WAS JUST A RENTAL
OH, SHIT PREHISTORIC BROTH? SLURP� IT DOESN�T TASTE LIKE LENTIL?
REMEMBER THAT SHIT�. LIKE MR. WENDLE
(MR. WENDLE�)
(MR. WENDLE�YEAH)
Funk:
ARRESTED MY DEVELOPMENT AND THEW AWAY THE KEY
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME? YOU COULD NOT VISIBLY SEE?
THAT I WAS PHYSICALLY STRONG BUT GENETICALLY WEAK
LONG DONG KING KONG AT NIGHT YOU�LL SEE ME IN YOUR SLEEP
WITH LITTLE BO PEEP AND HER FLOCK OF FUCKING GEESE
GETTING DOWN ON HER KNEES AND GIVING ME A STRIP TEASE
YOU LOOK AT IT SIDEWAYS STILL YOU GET NONE OF THESE
AS I ROCK THIS MIKE WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE
Hip: SO WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
Funk: THIS IS A WAKE UP CALL
Hip: TO ALL OF Y�ALL
Funk: SO SELF INVOLVED
Hip: YOU MAY HAVE BATHROOM STALLS
Funk: YOU MAY HAVE SHOPPING MALLS
Hip: YOU MAY HAVE BUILDINGS TALL
Funk: FULL OF CEILINGS AND WALLS
BOTH:
BUT WHAT YOU AIN�T GOT IS A CRYSTAL BALL
AND WHEN FLOOR DROPS OUT YOU�LL BE THE FIRST TO FALL
AND STILL YOU DON�T SEE WHAT WENT WRONG? (WHAT WENT WRONG?)
(WHAT WENT WRONG?)