| PURE HILARITY! |
things to do in a bowling alley that are a crack up - Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation. -Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again -STEAL BOWLING SHOES!!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA -Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team pray to it -Rent all the lanes, don't bowl -Rent all the shoes, eat them -If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but gutter balls, blame platetechtonics (A VERY GREAT ONE HERE) -Sit in your lane and heckle others with a Bullhorn. -Hand out Pamphlets on Patetechtonics. hahaha DAMN THOSE PLATETECHTONICS!!!! AHHHHH!!!! |
| Rays a weirdo friend of mine who drinks way to much but tells a grand story he's a fragile unstable man so just pretend u understand wat he;s going on about ....... |
| In my lifetimes I have realized that all matter is purely energy condensed there�s no such thing as reality and life is only a dream, here�s Tom with the weather������� Hey you stupid little midgets get outta here, now that I have regained control of my keyboard and my mind for a while I shall explain to you (my loyal readers and secret worshippers) the 3 types of miniature evil that walks, nay STALKS the land clad in green and stupid looking hats I�m talking about leprechauns damn you so yes enjoy as I explain to you the types of leprechauns I have seen. TYPE 1 - The old man smoking on a pipe leprechaun LOOKS LIKE - imagine poppa smurf only not blue and wearing green instead of red but the beard is there and a pipe. CHRACTERISTICS- likes to friggin talk a lot and I mean a lot just think jay only without the potty mouth and a better vocabulary DOES TO YOU- It confuses you a lot and argues to the point of you wanting to kill it and turn it into gold �.or is that smurfs I�m thinking of? �.anyway back to the point this is probably the best one you can see cause well he won�t try to choke you with your own toungue but be warned as he will try to confuse and then talk you into giving him your ale. VIOLENT FACTOR - 3 TYPE 2 - The ones with the sharp pointy sticks and the sharp pointy teeth LOOKS LIKE - Image might mouse on speed with big fuckin teetch that you could shave with and a stick that goes through flesh easily CHARACTERISTICS-will try to kill ya as soon as it sees ya, plain enough for ya ? DOES TO YOU - It chases you and stabs you and bites you and well I only hope for your sake your not lying down when you set your eyes on this morose little fucker cause he�ll go for the throat����.or the tongue, but if your lucky enough to be sitting and fast enough o move unlike I was once then MOVE IT I cannot stress this enough people the key is to move VIOLENT FACTOR - I�d say around a 13 TYPE 3 - The one that pretends to be interested in you only to get you drunk then either steal your ale or your life LOOKS LIKE- the sort of leprechaun you�d see down the pub enjoying a beer or 40 CHARACTERISTICS- likes to drink and kill but mostly drink carries a sword (really a pointy stick with a handle) to pick up cocktail onions or stab people who don�t but their round DOES TO YOU-sits there and listens to you talk and talk and encourages you to talk some more while drinking so you get absolutely plastid so it can then either a)steal your drink or b)kill you although because they are alcoholics I have never seen them go for b) although there was one time but well it was funny cause he was so wasted himself VIOLENT FACTOR - about a 7 |
| -There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves. -Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff. -Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail. -Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants. -I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you. -If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone. -As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? -If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now. -Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out. -To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad. |