A Day In The Life of Lois Lane

By superninja

All characters belong to DC/Warner Bros. Is anyone else as excited by me as Bruce Timm's JLA cartoon on Cartoon Network?! Yippee!!

This cartoon takes place in the WB cartoon continuity, and the JLA to come. Yippee!!! (again)

***

Lois Lane threw the paper down onto her desk.

The headline read: "What A Wonder Woman, by Clark Kent."

Lois huffed down into her chair, and picked up her morning cup of coffee, leaning over the picture on the front page.

"How's a girl supposed to compete with that?" she said aloud.

"Uh�you can't?"

Jimmy Olsen leaned over Lois' shoulder, staring at the picture of Wonder Woman.

"She's a dream come true, huh?"

Lois frowned and spun in her chair, pushing Jimmy backwards. She crossed her arms.

"Mind your own business."

"Sorry, Lois. You shouldn't be steamed that Clark scooped you�again�"

"Look," she said, leaning forward and crossing her legs. "Kent's got some 'in' with the JLA. Until I figure out his angle, I can't muscle in on�"

"Maybe she'd appreciate a woman's point of view."

Lois frowned again and looked up at Clark Kent, who had a smile like the cat that caught the canary.

"What's your secret, Smallville?"

Lois narrowed her eyes as Clark shrugged innocently and walked to his desk, whistling.

Lois shot like a bullet from her seat and marched towards him.

Jimmy winced and took his cue to leave.

Clark settled down into his seat, and logged onto his computer. He was much cheerier than usual. Not that he wanted to outdo Lois, well, part of him did�but he had four headlines in a row! First Martian Manhunter, then Flash, Green Lantern�

Lois' hand slammed down onto his desk, shaking the tabletop and nearly spilling his mug.

"What's that supposed to mean�a 'woman's point of view'?"

"I take it you didn't read my story?" he smiled up at her.

Lois pursed her lips, not amused.

"Wonder Woman is from a small island in the Mediterranean Sea," he continued. "Amazon Island is populated entirely by women, just like in Greek myth."

Lois continued to give him a deadpan stare.

"You know�a more personal angle� "

Lois turned away from him towards her desk, but then shot back over one shoulder.

"You still don't have Batman. I'll scoop you yet, Kent."

Clark narrowed his eyes.

***

"Bruce?"

The words came out more timidly than she had intended. Calling Bruce Wayne out of the blue might seem odd.

Well, it was odd, but she was busy trying to hide that just now.

"Lois?"

He sounded positively shocked that she had called.

"Yeah," she sighed into the phone. "I was wondering if I could ask a favor."

Not a sound came over the phone, and Lois tapped on her nightstand hoping that this wasn't going to be too uncomfortable.

"Does this have anything to do with a front-page for Clark Kent four weeks in a row?"

Lois rolled her eyes, and settled back into her bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Maybe�"

Bruce sighed.

"I really don't like to discuss my alter ego in public, Lois. You know that."

"I know, I know," she began, sitting up again. "Look, I'm sorry Bruce. It's just that I thought I'd take a shot at it and see what happened. I know we have history together, but�"

"You hate being reduced to second page?"

Lois pulled the receiver from her face and gave it a nasty look. She put it back to her mouth.

"Did that take all of your detective skills, or are you taking night classes now?!"

Slamming the phone down, she turned off the bedroom lights and settled roughly into her sheets.

She'd show Clark Kent�she'd get the scoop to end all scoops.

***

Martian Manhunter had been fairly surprised when the reporter's face had shown up on their monitor screen.

"Where are you transmitting from?" he asked suspiciously.

"S.T.A.R.R. Labs," Lois replied. "I was wondering if I could get an interview�"

"Who gave you this frequency?" he interrupted.

"Superman," she said innocently.

"I see," said the Manhunter slowly. But wasn't he trying to scoop her? No matter. Clark had a very personal life that he had to admit was somewhat of a mystery to him.

"Anyway," Lois continued, undaunted, "I was wondering if I could get an interview with Hawkgirl."

"Mr. Kent is interviewing Hawkgirl as we speak," he answered.

Lois tried her best to hide her aggravation.

"So I guess that would leave Batman?" she said through clenched teeth.

"That's correct, Ms. Lane. Incidentally, didn't you conduct the first Superman interview?"

"Yeah," she replied. "If you hear from Batman, let him know I'm interested."

"Of course, Ms. Lane."

***

Lois sat by the phone.

Drumming her fingers, she stared endlessly at the hard plastic object, waiting for it to eminate a noise. Any noise�

Ever since the JLA had come to town, crime had been at an all-time low. Which was to be expected -- the criminals didn't know what to make of the most powerful beings on Earth banding together.

Eventually that would change. Some yahoo would try to make a move, but until that moment, Kent was getting all the headlines and her name was fading into fine print.

And Bruce *still* hadn't called.

If she were smart, she would've played on Batman and Superman's long-time rivalry and made a date with Bruce just to stir things up a bit.

But it wouldn't have been the right thing to do, and she still had principles. Though for how long, even she wasn't sure.

The idea of a mano-y-mano story with Wonder Woman was sounding very appealing about now. It would also give her the opportunity to evaluate the competition.

Lois huffed and tapped a few keys on the keyboard. Wonder Woman wasn't her competition�she was her replacement.

It was funny that she had never considered that before. Women had always fallen in and out of Superman's life, but their friendship had remained a constant in all that. They were still friends, but�

Every shot she'd seen of them together made her cringe. Even from the first. They looked so well matched. And she was beautiful, and super-strong, and she could fly. And then there was the fact she wasn't evil�

Maybe an interview with Wonder Woman wouldn't be so bad after all. If she didn't use the material for a story, at least she could get some insight�

***

Lois waited atop the roof of the Daily Planet building. Wonder Woman had promised to meet her, and she hoped that like Superman, she kept her word.

Sure enough, a tiny object appeared in the distance, flying towards her.

The pinprick eventually got closer and closer until she could make the woman out from a distance.

She had the same qualities as Superman. Even she could see that from afar. The nobility, the confidence, the perfect physique�

Wonder Woman lighted on the rooftop and looked over at her, smiling.

"Hello," she said, offering her hand.

"Nice to meet you," Lois lied. "Maybe we should go somewhere less�breezy for our interview."

"Whatever suits you," she replied.

***

Lois had suggested her apartment. At least she would be comfortable in a familiar setting. Things would be nice and quiet, in case it got�ugly�

Ugly?! The very thought shocked Lois. Wonder Woman could knock her through the roof�what was she thinking?

The other woman sat across from her at the kitchen table, sipping a hot cup of tea as she made a cup of coffee for herself.

Lois grinned at a private thought. Maybe she should be more cautious. It could be drugged�

"Shall we start the interview?" Wonder Woman asked, stirring Lois from her reverie.

"Oh, of course," she said, embarrassed for thinking like Batman, and sat down across from her.

She pulled out her pad and pencil and sat placing it before her.

"So�you've already been interviewed by Clark Kent. What I wanted to touch on was something�"

"More personal?" Wonder Woman asked innocently.

Lois narrowed her eyes determined not to be intimidated.

"Yes, that's exactly what I was after."

"Superman's told me all about you," she started. "He seems quite impressed by you."

Lois looked a little surprised, and smiled.

"Superman and I've known each other for awhile."

"He's a wonderful man," Wonder Woman answered.

"Back to the interview," Lois interjected.

***

Lois was sitting on the couch, listening to Wonder Woman talk about her experiences since she had left Amazon Island.

She really was a fascinating woman, although somewhat stiff. Really a lot like Superman, but�edgier. And so strange considering Superman was an alien and that she was from Earth. But then, she did have the power of the gods.

"What about you?" she suddenly asked.

"Uh�what do you mean?"

"You and Superman? How did you develop such a close relationship?"

Lois fidgeted and stood from the couch, walking towards the kitchen.

"More tea?"

"No," she replied. "I'd like to know about you and Superman."

Lois bristled, "Making some more coffee." She paused. "Just what do you want to know?"

The sound of silence made Lois turn and look at Wonder Woman, sitting casually on her couch.

"Just how you two became so close," she grinned.

"Look," Lois replied. "We're just friends. Nothing more. I know it's been exaggerated, but we're just friends."

Lois took her drink back to the couch and sat it on the coffee table.

"Besides, we're here to talk about you. What do you make of your fellow Leaguers?"

She took a sip, and glanced up briefly, just catching a hint of annoyance from Lois' deflection of her curiosity.

"They're all fine warriors."

"Who do you admire most out of them?" Lois asked pointedly.

"That's an unfair question," Wonder Woman started. "I won't answer it."

"Then who made the biggest impression on you?"

Wonder Woman stood from the couch and glared down at Lois.

"Is this an interview about me, or an interview about Superman?"

Lois let her eyebrows jump to her forehead.

"Maybe both."

***

Lois tossed the paper on to her desk, and sat down to drink her morning cup of coffee.

The headline read: "Hawkgirl Flies High: How The JLA's Youngest Member Came To Earth, by Clark Kent."

Lois growled and picked up a pen, drawing a pencil mustache on Clark's grinning face printed beneath the headline.

"A mustache, huh?"

Lois jumped in her seat and put her hand over the drawing as Clark leaned in closer.

"Aren't you supposed to be covering the latest technology release from LexCorp?"

"Yeah, I'm done," he paused, struggling to move her hand away from the picture. "But I want to see what I'd look like with a mustache again."

"Knock it off, Smallville!" she said, jerking the paper away and throwing it in the trash. "Go chase down Batman."

Clark bent and picked the paper out of the trash, smoothing it out, and placing it flat on her desktop.

He put his hand under his chin, squinting one eye.

"Maybe a beard�"

***

"A call for you, sir."

Batman glanced up from his chemistry lab and stared at his butler through the protective goggles.

"Not now, Alfred," he began, "This is a delicate moment."

Alfred stood rigid as his eyes shifted to the wireless phone sitting on his tray.

"Pardon, sir," he started.

"Alfred!" Batman growled, pulling the test tube away from the bubbling beaker.

"I'm far to busy to tell someone so dogged as Ms. Lane 'no'. Hours later, and your tights would remain unwashed, as well as my socks. Unless you care to wash them yourself, sir�"

Batman sighed and replaced the test tube in its holder, sliding the glasses from his face.

Alfred handed him the phone with a 'Thank you " and headed back up the stairs.

"Hello, Lois."

"Hi, Bruce."

"You sound down," he said, leaning against the wall and pulling off his cowl.

"Things could be better�"

"I'm still not giving you the interview, if that's what this is about�"

"No, it's not. I didn't expect you of all people to budge. You're the most stubborn man on the planet."

Bruce smiled, thinking of a time when Lois had tried to dissuade him from donning the cape and cowl.

"So what is this about?"

"Wonder Woman."

"Ahhhh," he replied. "Your interview didn't go well?"

"Not exactly as I'd hoped. She wasn't very forthcoming."

"About Superman, you mean," he pried.

"Don't you start in too, Bruce."

"So what did you call for then?"

"I just needed someone to talk to. About super powered people, and you're the only person I know who would understand."

Batman pursed his lips and stared longingly at his chem lab. It would just have to wait. He took the seat across from his monitor and leaned back for the long haul.

"How does a girl compete with that?"

"You can't," Bruce grinned.

"Stop smiling," Lois said from annoyance. She could just feel it coming from the other end.

His grin widened.

"You're a wonderful woman, Lois Lane. But you're not Wonder Woman."

"You're a real bucket of sunshine, you know?"

"There are things you don't know about�Superman. Things that *I* do."

"Of course, you know everything."

"Flattery will get you everywhere," he joked. "Superman is just a man, and a very simple one at that."

"No one is that simple," Lois interrupted.

"Not everyone, but you already had a chance with a complicated one," he said.

Lois guffawed over the phone.

"But Superman is, Lois" Bruce said tenderly. "He is."

***

Lex Luthor sat in the darkness at his executive desk in his private offices at the top of LexCorp.

All of these blasted superheroes, and now they had formed a team!

No doubt they would create an intolerable amount of complication in his life. He would have to be more careful than ever.

"Perhaps there's a way to exploit this angle," he mused.

A team is only as good as the sum of its parts. If one were weakened, the whole could collapse into chaos.

They had yet to announce a leader, but Luthor had a feeling that Superman was the likely candidate. That constant thorn in his side�

He had tried every possible means of destroying him, defeating him, and disparaging him�

Nothing had worked.

Tirelessly, his scientists had worked around the clock to replicate the deadly Kryptonite that would bring the Man of Steel to his knees. It had finally paid off, but Luthor didn't want to play his cards until he had a scheme worthy of success.

He looked down at his hand and the ring on his finger. The glowing green gem was bright in the darkness. It was his last defense in keeping Superman away from his person.

And he still had to work out a demonstration of his new Synthizoids. The life-like replicas had spawned some interest from the retail market, but he really intended them for military application.

Perhaps an invitation of the sort that couldn't be turned down. A gala to celebrate the formation of the Justice League of America and build a bridge�

"Ensuring success for the future," Luthor said aloud.

It would be the perfect proving ground for their individual personalities and their ability to work together as a team.

***

Lois smoothed her dress and leaned forward to check her lipstick in the mirror.

Looking from side to side, she pulled the tube out and reapplied the red rouge to her mouth.

Satisfied, she exited the room.

Clark had declined to attend, so this was her best chance at getting the scoop of a lifetime.

A group interview with the JLA was something even Clark hadn't managed to pull off, or at least gotten around to doing.

She was praying that Batman and Superman would show up. After Wonder Woman, they were the two the public was most eager to hear about.

Lois stared around the room, looking at Metropolis' finest mingling with the world's greatest superheroes.

Damn.

Bruce Wayne.

There went her interview with Batman. The jerk.

Lois frowned watching Wayne fawn over Wonder Woman, sipping eagerly from a glass of champagne as he engaged the Amazon in small talk.

To her credit, Wonder Woman looked uncomfortable and aggravated.

Bruce could turn on the charm, but Lois knew from his reputation in the tabloids that Batman was his real persona, and Bruce was the mask he had to maintain.

She decided to eavesdrop on their conversation.

Maybe Bruce would help her out after all.

***

"So, you're a princess, right?"

Wonder Woman took a step back as Bruce leaned towards her and gave his best plastic grin.

"Yes. From the Island of Themiscrya."

"I've been to the Mediterranean a many times�but an island of women? Now that's a well-kept secret."

The men surrounding them chuckled as Wonder Woman looked down at Bruce and frowned deeply.

"If you're even suggesting that the Amazons would be a playboy's wonderland, you are sadly mistaken�"

Bruce looked towards the other men, faking intimidation.

"By no means, your highness," he said with a slight bow, and took a drink of his champagne.

"Could I interest you with a turn on the floor?"

He glanced over at the other couples dancing on the ballroom floor.

"I don't think you could manage your drink and me at the same time."

The other men laughed at Bruce, who joined in the fun, pretending to be un-phased.

"If only I were Superman," Bruce said, catching Lois out of the corner of his eye.

Wonder Woman's eyes flashed and she tightened her jaw, getting in Bruce's face.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Lois smiled secretly over at Bruce, who continued his antics.

"You two just look so�chummy in pictures. Are you telling me there's nothing going on between you?"

"Absolutely NOT," Wonder Woman answered resolutely.

"But you have so much in common!" Bruce continued.

"That may be true, but our relationship is purely professional."

Bruce snorted into his drink, causing the other men to draw back and laugh.

"I work out every day, and I know I'll never have a body like that! C'mon�is he really the 'Man of Steel'?"

Wonder Woman turned in a huff and walked away.

"Would you care for a turn on the floor, Bruce?"

Bruce looked over at Lois and smiled.

"Gentlemen�"

The men were a bunch of grins as he led Lois out onto the floor.

***

"Where's Clark tonight?" he asked.

Lois looked up at Bruce as he turned her gracefully in his arms.

"He doesn't like Luthor."

"And you do?"

"No, but he makes for good press," she said, putting her mouth closer to Bruce's ear.

"I'm curious as to why he's hosting a party for the JLA."

"We all are," he said, leaning closer to her.

"But Luthor's a smart man. I wouldn't be surprised if he was just gathering information."

He turned her again, and her gaze fell on Luthor, making conversation with Green Lantern and the Flash.

***

Both men looked extremely uncomfortable in their superhero getups, mixing with a formally dressed crowed of citizens.

"Your power is derived entirely from speed," Luthor asked the Flash.

"Umm�yeah�" he said, lacking for words.

"Interesting," Luthor continued.

"And yours was given to you by an alien police force?"

Green Lantern was nudged in the side by Flash, and rejoined the conversation.

"Umm�yeah�" he said, lacking for words.

"Do you maintain contact with them?" Luthor started. "With an inter-galactic police force, I would think high standards would be maintained, with constant monitoring to ensure that they were uniformly enforced."

"Say what?" Green Lantern asked, turning to Flash, who just shrugged.

Luthor pulled a card out of his silver case and extended it to Green Lantern.

The man took the card and looked down at it as Flash stared over his shoulder.

"LexCorp Security," Luthor said. "If you ever get tired of the JLA, I could use a man like you as head of my security."

Luthor turned and walked away, leaving the two of them behind.

"Hey," Flash said, grabbing the card from Green Lantern's hand. "How come he didn't offer me a job?"

Walking away, Luthor smiled.

***

Bruce and Lois finished their dance, and walked outside to catch some air.

They looked up into the night sky, trying to find a starting place for a conversation.

"Why didn't Superman show up?" she asked.

"Lois, I'm surprised at you," Bruce said.

"What?" she questioned.

"Luthor wears a Kryptonite ring on his right hand. Last I remember, Superman and Kryptonite don't go so well together."

"I never remember that keeping him at bay in the past."

"So he should show up wearing lead tights? He has more important things to do."

"Miss Lane?"

Lois and Bruce turned simultaneously to see Wonder Woman standing behind them.

Wonder Woman gave Bruce a nasty look.

"I came out here to get a breath of fresh air," she said, resuming her poise. "I'm not used to these kinds of functions."

"You'd better get used to them, princess. As an emissary for your island, you'll be knee-deep in baby-kissers and débutantes."

Wonder Woman leaned against the railing and looked out towards the sky.

"Perhaps this kind of thing amuses someone like yourself, Mr. Wayne. I find it to be a waste of time."

"I think I need a drink," Lois started, looking over at them. "See you back inside, Bruce."

"And try to behave yourself," she shot over her shoulder.

***

"That comment about Superman earlier was just a joke," he began, finishing off his champagne glass and setting it on the ledge.

"It wasn't a good one, then."

"You were the only one not laughing, if I recall," he grinned.

"You seem most eager to get under my skin, Mr. Wayne."

Bruce stood closer to her, leaning out over the railing.

"That's one way of putting it."

He jiggled his eyebrows at her.

Wonder Woman rolled her eyes.

"I would think a man of privilege such as yourself would be more concerned with helping his fellow man."

"We can't all be Superman, now can we?"

Wonder Woman huffed and folded her arms across her chest.

"Certainly not all of us," she replied.

"What do you think of that Batman character?" she asked.

Bruce looked at her curiously and turned his back to the railing, folding his own arms.

"I think he's a demented freak who uses fear to subdue criminals."

A smile turned up at the corner of her mouth.

"Is that so?"

"What's more," he continued. "I think his costume stinks."

"I don't know�he's kind of interesting," she said, glancing over at him. "In a dark, demented sort of way."

Bruce's eyes brightened.

"Really? Because I can do dark and demented."

Wonder Woman leaned over until their faces were nearly touching.

"I think between the two of you, you're quite dark enough."

Bruce remembered to swallow when she turned and walked away. His eyes narrowed at the careful punctuation of her last words.

"Good knight, Mr. Wayne."

***

Luthor pulled a cigar from his pocket and then took his lighter out.

Talking to the Martian Manhunter had been less and entertaining. A very quiet individual�ferreting out his weakness would be�

Luthor pondered the thought as he clicked the lighter. The fluid caught and sent a single flame towards the ceiling.

It only took that tiny moment. Luthor was a very observant man, and he noticed how the Manhunter flinched from the bright light.

"Cigar, Mr. Manhunter?" Luthor offered.

"No thank you," Manhunter said his eyes on the flame.

"I don't smoke."

***

Hawkgirl was thronged with a legion of men.

They all wanted to know about her alien heritage, what had made her leave her homeworld, if she had any relatives back there�a husband, a boyfriend�

It was overwhelming to her. She wanted to get away from all of them and take a breath outside, but every time she tried to break away, another would start a conversation with her.

The men here were so different from those of her world.

There, she was just a police officer. But here, she was elevated to something else. It was like being a movie star of this world.

No one here seemed to notice her flaws. She always thought she looked so plain next to Wonder Woman�

But now they hovered on her every word, practically stepping on one another to get a chance to ask for a dance.

It was dizzying being in the spotlight. Dizzying and intoxicating.

She barely caught the image of Lex Luthor as he appeared in the throng of suitors. The strange smile on his face was burned into her thoughts for a brief second.

It was important for them to figure out why he had brought them all there tonight.

But she was having so much fun�

***