Our Story
The clock is ticking off for NoMattsLand, Wayne Enterprises office boy third class charged with the mission of escorting the Silver Banshee to the Gotham Halloween Ball. Meeting Leighgion, Wayne Enterprises Soothsayer, at the fashionable Lucy's In Disguise, our hero learned that his date is a double date, with the Soothsayer escorting the Banshee's last mortal blood-relative, the still very much living Lacey MaCelwin. As if this were not a great enough injustice, our hero learned that the group's costume theme is Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon and that he is slated to go as Tuxedo Mask! We now rejoin our humiliated and nervous hero and he and Leighgion pick up their dates at Gotham Hilton, Room 666.
"Dead girls are people too. Dead girls are people too. Dead girls are..."
"I think we've established that now, Matts."
"I just need to psyche myself up for this."
"You've been saying that the whole drive over and we've been standing at the end of the hall for twenty minutes now. We need to get going if we're going to make the ball."
"That's easy for you to say!"
"Look, I sympathize with you not wanting to die, but I have to point you're not going to stay alive by defaulting. Not to mention we've been standing here so long the maid's already given both of us her phone number. Imagine if our dates had got a look at that happening, hmm?"
"Gah."
"Right then. You knock."
Scant moments after NoMatts' knuckles rap on the door...
"'Ello boys! Ello Leigh."
"Hullo Lacey. Excuse Matts here, he's nervous."
"Mm, can see that. Very interesting gurgle you got there, Matts."
"Be nice, Lacey!"
"Sorry! Siobahn's just about ready. Now, you and I have to go downstairs, Leigh. Ancestor's orders."
"Mm right, need to give some first date privacy. See you in a couple, Matts and.. you really better stop that gurgling."
It took a full minute after Leighgion & Lacey's depature before the hapless NoMattsLand freed himself from his psychological rigor and steel himself enough to venture into Room 666...
".. hello?"
"Hello."
"Ack! I mean.. hi.. I mean.. nice shoes.. wig.. you've really got that.. Sailor Moon thing.. going. Uh, I'm NoMattsLand. Call me Matts. You must be.. Siobahn."
"Oh you'll do nicely, Matts. Nicely indeed. We should get going, yes?"
"Going. Yes. The ball. We'll have a good time."
"I'm sure."
As NoMattsLand summons up the will to kiss Siobahn's offered cheek, he ruminates upon how he will survive the rest of the evening escorting a long-dead woman with a voice like a lead coffin slamming shut under the House of Usher. Is our hero insane yet? He soon will be!