Our Story
With less than 7 hours left until his date with the Silver Banshee, NoMattsLand, Wayne Enterprises office boy, is rushing through the halls for the offices of the Alaskan Surfer, Lildeath in the hope of psychological aid in his upcoming ordeal.
We now rejoin our hero as he encounters unexpected resistance in the form of a trio of robbed and hooded figures barring his path. Leaping from his skateboard, the intrepid copy machine attendent stands to face his adversaries - thinking of running only twice - ...
"Do you mind?? I'm in a rush here!"
"You will go no farther.
"Your errand must fail.
"The tyrant must fall."
".. how do you guys talk all in synch like that?"
"Practice.
"Lots of practice.
"But that is unimportant.
"You will fail.
"We will stop you."
"Ulp."
The trio advanced, drawing their robes back in unison, they cast three projectiles at NoMattsLand.. .. which fluttered harmlessly to the ground.
"What the.. .. you just threw little pieces of cellophane at me?"
"Silence!"
"These are little cellophane Superman S's.. ..and you're all wearing red underwear!"
"IT'S NOT UNDERWEAR!
"They're briefs!
"Based on circus acrobat outfits of the 30's!"
"You're agents of the Red Underwear Cult!"
"WE ARE NOT A CULT!"
"I've signaled security, but I don't even need them. The RUC is all hot air!"
"We are not full of it!
"Seize him!"
The three cultists sprang at NoMatts, but the office boy kicked a free-standing ashtray into their path and, covering his retreat with a handful of interdepartmental paper weight memos, dove behind an office plant. Falling for the trick, the trio of cultists huddled the blue Post-It...
"The 25 lbs bond is jamming the Minolta on floor- hey, where did he go?"
"Don't worry about him, boys. Better worry about me."
NoMatts popped out from his hiding place.
"Batwoman! You came!"
"Get out of here, Land. You've got a date to make. I've got it under control. You three, come closer.. closer.. little closer.. there!"
"OW!
"OW!
"OW!"
As Batwoman slaps the invaders into submission, NoMattsLand reclaims his skateboard and plummets further into the depths of the Wayne Enterprises building towards the office of the Alaskan Surfer, Lildeath. But what other hazards lurk in the shadows? Are there traitors within Wayne Enterprises? Just what does the Red Underwear Cult have against Bruce Wayne anyway, or do they just have a grudge against NoMattsLand for having a date with the Banshee?
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