Batman and Wonder Woman Get It On

By Josephine

Disclaimers: I neither own nor make money from my disgusting use of these characters. DC owns all rights to the characters herein, and they can have these stories, too.

Story 2: Amazonian Cavewoman

35,000 B.C.E.

Dughana looked up from the hide on which she had been chewing. Barghus, leader of the clan of the Cave of the Bat, stood ten feet away from her (which is only about 8 feet away--these cavemen were much smaller than the modern human) gazing at her intently from under matty, lice infested eyebrows.

Dughana sat up a little straighter. She did not want him to think that she was submissive, nor interested in him, although he did wear the very latest style of skinwrap--over the shoulder, between the legs, around the waist.

He must have killed a very big mammoth to obtain a skin that covered his manhood so well, she mused.

"Woman! Ugh," Barghus said, hitting his chest. "Food." He pointed to his mouth, displaying seven worn teeth, and eight rotting ones.

Dughana resisted the urge to fan herself. Such a man would make a fine mate. But, she realized, her first loyalty should be to her own clan, the Clan of the Woman.

"Food for sisters, not man," Dughana stated. "Ugh. Man need catch own food."

"Wench!" cried Barghus, "Will teach you, ugh!" He beat on his chest again, then reached forward and grabbed Dughana by the hair, clubbed her, then dragged her behind him toward his cave.

Dughana woke up when a stick caught in her hair and began poking her eye.

"Ugh!" she yelled ferociously, and jumped to her feet, ignoring the throbbing in her head. She was the most skilled fighter of her clan; she would take down this male if it was the last thing she did. No more would women be clubbed on the head and carried off! She would fight for all women from this day forward.

She pulled from the tie of her skinwrap a length of rope that she had braided from golden colored stalks of wheat. She had intended to use it for fishing, but found the idea of tying up the caveman more appealing.

She tossed the rope over Burghus' head, and yanked on it, so that it cut off his airways.

"What, ugh, intend do with woman?" She asked. "Speak truth or will choke," she demanded, yanking on the rope to show him that she was serious.

Burghus spread his hands placatingly. "Just want show woman good time," he said. Suddenly, his brown eyes filled with tears, the water reflecting the overhanging browbone just above his eyes. "Life so sad since parents die, killed by crazy caveman for two shells and pretty otter bone."

Dughana's prehistoric heart melted. She went down on her knees and turned around, flipping up the loincloth she wore under her skinwrap. "Mate with me, ugh."

Burghus crouched behind her, and moved aside his wrap, exposing his unwashed member. He did not touch her breasts, which were for feeding babes, nor attempt any other form of foreplay, since taking too long might expose them to the dangers of the Ice Age: saber-toothed tigers that snuck up on mating couples and kill them with a swipe of a massive paw, cave lions that would stalk them during coitus, mammoths that would as soon step on them as look at them.

He thrust inside her. "Ugh!" he said in pleasure.

"Ugh," Dughana replied, wishing he'd hurry. Next time she would offer to use her mouth; her teeth had been worn to smooth stubs from years of chewing tough fibers and animal hides, so he would enjoy that.

"UGH!" Burghus said again, his seed erupting within her, finding an egg, and fertilizing it. She would make a good mate, he thought. They would live well for the next ten years, until, at the ripe old age of twenty four, they would both die of natural causes--causes like the aforementioned cave lion, tiger, or maybe even a mammoth.