Author: Adrian Tullberg

Email: [email protected]

 

This was originally posted in the DC comic WW message board on January 15, 2002.

*****

quote:

 

Originally posted by Kanjar Ro: I dont think that a Batman/Diana relationship would be possible.

 

Can a mere mortal man survive....an Amazonian Orgasm?????

 

Any lover that Diana would "take on", would have to have some sort of super or mystical powers..

 

I think thats the real reason that Diana never really marries good ol' Steve Trevor!

*****

 

Poster tries desperately to avoid saying the things inspired by this comment ...

 

Poster wonders why he even bothers ...

 

Ever since Wayne Enterprises CEO Bruce Wayne and Diana, Ambassador to the Amazons began formally dating, there had been many public occasions where they had been seen together ... formal events, exclusive restaurants, premieres, and the like.

 

However, due to the high traffic where she lived, and he lived (not to mention a highly unconventional basement addition under his mansion) there were cirtain pressures that could only be dealt with by a cash purchase at discreet establishments, and a hastily scrawled 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' at a downmarket hotel which charged by the hour.

 

It was half an hour after one check in when the 9-1-1 call was made.

 

***

 

Dick Grayson sat on the hard chair in the waiting room. Donna Troy was next to him, feeling concerned.

 

Cassie and Helena sat together, and Bart Allen (he had arrived to return some DVDs, and had tagged along due to a lack of interest in anything else) was swinging his legs back and forth, having read all the magazines in less than a minute (Donna had forbidden him from reading anything resembling a Cosmo)

 

"What happened?"

 

"Don't know. Diana called, sounded upset."

 

"Did Bruce say anything?"

 

"Maybe he's the one needing medical treatment." Donna stated, flipping a nine-year-old People magazine.

 

"What?"

 

"They slipped off for some nookie. Diana says they do it all the time..."

 

"Threeblindmicethreeblindmiceseehowtheyrun..." Dick was holding his hands over his ears.

 

"... and if you consider the amount of restraint that I had ... have to go through, I think Mr. Wayne might have occured a few injuries."

 

"Injuries."

 

"Along the way."

 

Dick tried to smile. "He can take a few bruises along the way ..."

 

"Imagine someone as strong as Superman using her ..." Donna held up her hands "... fingernails ..."

 

Cassie winced.

 

"Legs ... "

 

Helena groaned.

 

"Arms ..."

 

Bart stopped his bouncing and started listening.

 

"Sometimes teeth ..."

 

"I just hope that man is a lousy lay..." Helena stated, looking towards the glass doors.

 

"I'm going to regret this ... why?"

 

Helena turned to Dick, unsure of her approach. "Contractions."

 

"Contractions?"

 

"Down ... down there." Helena stabbed her finger below her waistline.

 

"You mean when she ..." Cassie slapped her hand over her mouth, eyes wide.

 

"Dickwhayareyoucrossingyourlegslikethat?"

 

"Nothing ... nothing Bart." Dick's face was in a rictus of empathic agony.

 

"We'll tell you when you're older Bart."

 

"EveryonetellsmethatInevergettohearanythinginterestingit'salways'Whenyou'reolder'..."

 

Everyone shushed Bart when the doors opened. Diana entered the waiting room, face weary.

 

"Diana?"

 

"Is everything ..."

 

The doors opened once again. Bruce Wayne entered the waiting room, wearing a version of 'casual wear' that the average professional could never afford to look at, let alone wear.

 

"It's all settled ..." Bruce looked at the agape figures around him. "Is something wrong?"

 

"Er ... we heard there was an accident?"

 

"At a hotel?"

 

Diana took a fortifying breath. "The headboard was hitting the wall a little too hard."

 

"The man in the next room was brained by a piece of falling plaster."

 

"He had a concussion. We went ..." Diana broke off.

 

"I just had a little talk with him. Free full heath insurance for five years, and nobody tells his wife."

 

Everybody got up to leave, Dick leaned into Donna's range of hearing; "Now the really painful bit will occur."

 

"What's that?"

 

"From the look on Bruce's face, this happened ... before he could ..."

 

"Interruptus?"

 

"Big time." Dick looked at his mentor, the scowl beginning to form under his 'Bruce' persona "And the miracle of how he survives Wonder Woman is nothing compared to how we're going to survive a frustrated Bat ..."

 

 

------------------

"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've

got work to do." The Doctor; DOCTOR WHO, Survival