| Chapter 9 |
| That night I fell asleep quickly. I was exhausted. I woke up as the result of more 'strange' noises outside the window. My first thought, 'Get the stick.' Instead I grogily got out of bed and lifted the curtain away from the window. Christian was again planted outside with his guitar. I reached up to slam the window shut but as he began singing, I found it hard to do anything but listen to his words. I lie awake and die, I try but can't deny that I can't make it without her I can't forget the day, I let her slip away and I'm still dreaming about her Can a heart forgive, cus' I just can't live without her The next time you see my girl Won't you say that I, I would die, I would die to hold her The next time you see my girl, won't you tell her, I love her The next time you see my girl I walk the streets at night, see lovers passing by, and it's all a reminder Of what it used to be, when she was here with me, I only wish I could find her.... I shut the window and walked back towards the bed. I laid back down and quickly sat up again. I wrapped the comforter around me and ventured out onto the street curb next to Christian. He continued playing until I sat down next to him. We both sat in silence. "It's hard to sleep with you out here every night." I said trying to break the tension. At that moment I realized that I had forgiven him. "I'm sorry." He stated sincerly. "I know....but why, why did you..." I was cut off. "For a long time I didn't know, but, I realized it was fear." He said inching closer to me. "Fear of what?" I asked curiously. "I've had a lot of girlfriends. Loads actually..." "Do I really want to hear this Christian?" "What I meant was, well with all of those girls...I knew that I didn't love them. And for that matter I knew that they would never love me. There was no commitment. I knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with them. But, with you it was totally different. I could see us...together forever. And I was scared I was gonna screw it up or you weren't gonna return my feelings and, when that girl jumped on me...I guess I saw it as the easy way out. But, it took me about five seconds after she kissed me to realize that isn't what I wanted at all. I just wanted to be with you. I didn't want the easy way out." "Wow, that's a lot to handle..." I said in shock. "Well...I am glad you're talking to me again." Christian said as he grabbed my chin and kissed me. *** *** *** "I told you things would work out." Mark said punching Ste's shoulder. "What do you mean you told me! I'm the one who told her to talk to him!" Ste defended himself. The two leaned against the wall on either side of the window staring out onto the street, watching Christian and Carlee. "Well I am going to bed, no telling how long those two will be at it!" Mark giggled walking towards his room. "Goodnight!" ******************************************************************* |