Soooo... with that said, here is your wedgie for today...

01. YOU ARE RACING AT YOUR OWN RISK! WE AS A GROUP AND AS INDIVIDUALS ACCEPT NO LIABILITY FOR INJURIES AS A RESULT OF YOUR PARTICIPATION IN ANY FORM. YOU ARE ALL (presumably) ADULTS AND ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELVES. In addition, anything you might say or do will reflect on the Dallas Trocars, so please be careful for our sake.

02. Entries must be in the shape of a burial receptacle. This includes, but is not limited to, coffin, casket, sarcophogas, or plain ol' pine box. Think up another shape and we will be impressed!

03. The MINIMUM length of your racer must be 4 feet long or 48 inches. The MAXIMUM length is not to exceed 8 feet long or 96 inches. No minimum width, but NO WIDER than 4 feet or 48 inches. Yes, these measurements include the wheels.

04. A REQUIRED 144" flat frontal area not to exceed 30 degrees from perpendicular from the ground. Nobody ever heard of a pointed coffin!

05. Which brings us to another point... NO SHARP POINTS OR EDGES ON THE EXTERIOR! If one of these cars accidentally gets away from you and runs into a spectator or private property, you can guess what would happen.

06. No motivation for your racer other than gravity. And we mean the pull of gravity directly dragging your box forward. Any weight-and-pulley setups designed for "launching" are gonna get you tied to a tree...

07. See rule #01.

08. Brakes. You MUST have them. The alternative is possibly crossing a live road without the benefit of a priest for last rites.

09. Entries limited to 500 pounds combined weight. No minimum.

10. Making adjustments between rounds is permitted, but you must re-weigh after adding weight. You must do a weigh-in with each driver on a shared car. Wait... a "shared car"?

11. Race entries are based on the drivers entered, not the cars. You may share one car between two people (or more) but you will have to beg one of us to be able to race each other.

12. Racing will be held regardless of the nmber of entries. 2-7 entries will dictate that we all race against one another at least once. 8-? we will run a double-elimination bracket in pairs. Details on how this works forthcoming. I don't want to type it out right now.

13. You are permitted, and even encouraged, to promote yourself or your company on your racer. Please keep in mind we will be in public, and possibly in the media.

14. In the event you purposely bump another participant, you will be forcibly duct-taped to your racer and pushed out into traffic to get bumped in return.

15. Did you happen to read rule #1? Better go back and make sure. I might hae changed some of the words while you weren't looking...

16. TBA