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| jakeFuNC's Guide On |
| LOOKING STONED IN THE MORNING |
| WARNING: This will NOT liven your day up. |
| Well, this entire guide is based on what some people in one of my classes said, but I'm pretty sure I will work anyway. Trust me here. |
| Now before we begin, ask yourself if the picture below which looks similar to the "pimp van" has a "pimp van" that is blue. |
| ANSWER HONESTLY: |
| Now if you see a blue "pimp van", you should not do this. WHY? |
| 1. You ARE stoned. |
| Stoned people should not be doing anything. Go eat some food. |
| 2. You are seriously colorblind. |
| GO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP. |
| 3. Your brain is slowly melting away... |
| Well, what can I say. |
| But if you made it through that, you can do as you please. Here's what you do: |
| -Sometime that day, look up a report on "Fredrick Douglass" at least 15 pages long and print it out. |
| -At 8:30 PM, start taking notes off the report. |
| -At 9:00 PM, write a one page handwritten report (only 1 page, no more). |
| -Finish at 9:40 PM. Don't eat any food. Don't shower. Don't even brush your teeth. Hit the sac around 10:30 PM. |
| -Make sure to set your alarm for 6:55AM. |
| -At 12:00 AM, begin snoring. Then have a muscular person jack (slam hard) you in the side. Do not wake up though. |
| -Before 6:55 AM, have someone reset your alarm. |
| -Have someone wake you up at 7:10 AM and leave your house by 7:20. No washing, just deoderant, whear a T-shirt with a long-sleeved shirt under it, baggy pants, and dirty shoes. Socks are optional. |
| -Make sure you don't eat anything and you should be good. You can also stop your car in the middle of the road and check you front windsheild. Go somewhere you don't really want to be, such as: school, work, home, bathroom, wherever. |
| -Have some idiot tell everyone you're stoned. That always works. |
| Good luck. It may be hard for some of you who get less sleep than that. |
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