Anna�s eyes were wild and bloodshot. Her toned arms, no bigger than a child�s, flexed weakly as she shoved the package of green bread deep into the garbage can. Standing up to face Mark, she pushed her mangy dirty blonde hair out of her face, and placed one hand on her bony hip. �What the fuck were you thinking? Do you know how much money we have? You can�t leave the bread open like this! We can�t afford to buy more. Now it�s moldy and I have to throw it out, and we won�t have anything to eat. I go visit my mother for a few days, and you can�t even manage to close the bread. What�s wrong with you?�

          Mark, the apparent culprit, wouldn�t look her in the eyes. Instead, he stared at her body: too skinny. A sweaty tank top clung to her heaving chest, slightly exposing her firm A-cup breasts. He felt guilty. She turned to look at him finally, fury evident in her face.

          �What the hell are you staring at?�

          He couldn�t look her in the eyes. He couldn�t tell her that he was sorry, and he didn�t mean it. He couldn�t tell her it was her fault they had no money. �Nothing. Sorry,� he mumbled under his breath, staring at her feet, grimy from the ivory colored linoleum floor, probably white once, that had never been mopped. Her green toe polish was chipping.

          �I�m leaving,� she said, and it felt like an accusation. She grabbed her keys off the counter, and headed toward the door, bumping into him accidentally, or not. He wondered if she�d come back.

          Out in the street, Anna yanked on the handle of her �85 Dodge Omni. It didn�t open. She yanked harder. �Come on, open. I need to get out of here!� She screamed, before she realized that Mark must have locked it. After fumbling for the right key in the evening darkness, she found it, got the door open and climbed inside. She breathed a ragged sigh of relief and lightly banged her head on the steering wheel. �He�s not perfect, and you can�t expect him to be, Anna,� she thought to herself. �You gotta take the bad with the good. Right now there�s just some extra bad. Don�t forget the good.� She sighed again, shaking her head and started up the car.

          In the grocery store window, Anna saw a �Now Hiring� sign. She almost skipped inside with excitement, like a child running off to recess. If she could find a job, everything would start looking better. She and Mark would have money again. They could buy groceries and pay their bills. Maybe they could move into a better apartment, one where the neighbor didn�t have an arrest warrant nailed to his door, and the shower didn�t take twenty minutes to heat up and five minutes to run out of hot water.

          She quickly walked through the store, taking a loaf of bread, quart of milk, and block of cheese as she mentally counted the barely existent money in her wallet. At the check out line, she had to pay the 5 dollar total with three singles and two dollars of quarters while the check out girl, who couldn�t have been any older than 17, looked at her with sympathy. When Anna asked for an application, staring at the ground the whole time, the girl smiled warmly and handed it to Anna from underneath the register, telling her to drop it off at Customer Service whenever she was ready.

          Anna walked out of the store as quickly as she had entered it, this time fleeing from embarrassment, like a child who got beaten up on the playground. Except that her bully was the pleasant check out girl, which made her even more embarrassed.

          Anna made it back to the apartment, clutching the bag of groceries in one hand and her application in the other. It was quiet inside, and Mark was not around. She found a note on the kitchen table, that said I�m sorry about the bread. I don�t know what�s wrong with me. Forgive me? I love you� Mark. She put the few groceries away, and wandered into the bathroom to take a shower.

          In the bedroom, she found Mark. He was lying on the bed on top of the covers, still wearing his clothes, snoring loudly. Anna smiled to herself, thinking that some things never change. She walked over to him and pulled his socks off, trying not to wake him up. She tried to remove his shirt as well, but he slowly woke with a groan.

          �Hey,� he whispered softly. �What are you doing? Where did you go?�

          �Shhh. I don�t want to talk right now.� Mark sat up, and Anna tugged his shirt off over his head, leaning down to kiss him gently on the lips. He reached up to wrap his hands around her waist, and pulled her down on top of him, chuckling beneath her lips.

          �Whoops, I fell,� he said. She smiled and just kissed him harder, pressing her body against his, feeling his erection press back. Mark�s hands slid up her back, under the tank top and unsnapped her bra. He broke away from Anna�s kiss to pull off her top and bra, revealing her perky breasts and hardened nipples. He brought his lips toward her mouth, then deftly brushed over her lips and moved toward her breast. As he planted tiny kisses over her chest, Anna felt a fire building inside her. She rocked against Mark, trying to get him to stop teasing her. After a moment, he took her nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue lazily over the tip. Anna shivered and let out a soft moan.

          �What are you doing to me?� she murmured.

          �I thought you didn�t want to talk?� Mark took his lips away from her body long enough to speak, and then returned to the insistent pressure of his mouth on her skin. Alternating between nipples, between soft kisses and rough flicks of his tongue, Mark slowly drove Anna crazy. Her body was on fire, and she was about to explode. He pushed his hand between her legs and rubbed her through her clothing, never letting up with his mouth. He could feel her wetness dampening her pants. Her body became a conduit of electricity, running between the two poles of her breasts and clitoris, shooting sparks.

          �Mark,� she lightly gasped. �If you don�t stop, I�m going to-�

          �Come?� He smiled innocently and pulled his hand away from her body, ceasing all physical contact.

          �Yes, that,� she panted lightly, as she got up and wiggled out of her pants. Mark followed suit, and pulled her back on the bed next to him, kissing her lips, exploring her mouth with his tongue. This time she reached out her hands for him, rubbing his erection harder. He groaned, and bit her lip gently, thrusting himself into her hand. Anna shifted on top of Mark, and slipped him inside her. She moved herself slowly against him, matching her movements to his still somewhat sleepy body. Running her hands over his chest, lightly tracing her fingers across his nipples, she felt him speed up below her. She could feel the fire building within him, and she rocked her hips faster against him. She dug her hips against him, crushed her body into his. She forgot about the bread, and the money, and the dirty kitchen floor. Every thought fled her brain, as she focused on the boiling blood coursing through her body. She leaned down to kiss him, bruised her lips purple against his, and everything melted away. He moaned loudly beneath her, letting her know he was close. Moving faster, harder, she worked every muscle, crushing herself into Mark until sweat dripped off her forehead onto his, and she no longer knew where her body began and his ended. Sweating and screaming, Anna felt the electricity explode into every nerve of her body. She collapsed onto Mark�s chest, and he wrapped his arms around her. They lay together panting softly, not saying anything.

          After a few minutes, Anna rolled off Mark�s body and lay on her side staring at him. His eyes were dark brown pools. �Head�s full of shit,� her father said when they first met. Searching his eyes, Anna knew it wasn�t true. Yes, Mark dropped out of college. Yes, they were struggling with money. Yes, they lived in a shitty apartment. But Mark was smart. His eyes reminded her of the Earth, and how he grounded her. How he could create a natural disaster, like the bread, and then fix it by bringing her a flower from yard in the church across the street.

          �I�m sorry I yelled at you before. I was just frustrated,� she said quietly.

          �I know.� He rolled over and returned her gaze. He stared silently for a moment and then asked, �What time is it?�

          �Almost nine,� she answered, glancing upward at the clock on the wall.

          Mark yawned, and sat up. �I have to leave for work in a half hour. I�m doing the overnight tonight.� He stood up and walked to the bathroom, turning on the shower, while Anna propped herself up on the covers. They had no TV, so she grabbed her book off the nightstand and began reading while Mark showered.

          Twenty minutes later he came out of the bathroom and got dressed. Anna peeked at him over the edge of her book, admiring his body. In his gas station uniform, he walked over to the bed and sat next to Anna. �I�m sorry too,� he said. �I have to go, now. I�ll see you in the morning, okay?� She nodded. �I love you,� he said and kissed her forehead before standing up.

          �I love you too,� she said and squeezed his hand tightly.

          On his way out, Mark saw the application on the kitchen table and smiled. Things would get better eventually. �You can only hit bottom so many times, and you can only live on bread and cheese for so long,� Mark thought.

neb 12/15/04