Jack
�I went on the best date last night. She was totally in love with me. Head over heels. The whole works. I picked her up at 7:45. I told her 8:00 on the phone, but I thought I should be a few minutes early. I brought her half a dozen red roses too. I thought a dozen might me too much. I took my red Beemer; it really impresses the ladies. I even opened the door for her. I�m telling you, chicks dig that stuff. She said she didn�t care where we went, so I took her to this nice Italian restaurant. You know the one. Where I took Lisa last weekend? Yeah, that�s the place, down on West Ave. So anyway, I could tell she was totally into the place. Her eyes got all big when she saw it. She thought I was some cheapskate. She has no clue what it�s like to be out with Jack! She seemed to enjoy her dinner; she totally cleaned her plate. Conversation? Haha. The conversation was great. We talked about everything: work, friends, free time, music, movies, computers, everything. She must have thought everything was going great too, because she offered me some of her chocolate dessert. When we were all done, I grabbed the check before she could see it. I didn�t want her to try and pay. Jack knows how to treat a lady right. We left after that, and I brought her back to her place. She seemed a little shy about saying goodbye, so I just gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her I�d call her. I�m gonna ask her out again this weekend. I�ll let you know! Name? Oh, her name�s Monica. Haha, bye.�
Veronica
�Oh my God. You are not going to believe this. I went on the worst date of my life last night. It was so horrible I don�t even know where to begin. First, he showed up fifteen minutes late. We agreed on 7:30, and he showed up promptly at 7:45. Then, he handed be a bouquet of tulips. Tulips? Whatever happened to roses? I don�t know. So we went out to his car, he offered to drive, and it was a 5-year-old used Volvo. It was rusting. He looked at me like I should be impressed, so I tried to be nice and smiled at him. I waited for him to open the door for me, and I think he got the hint after a few seconds. I didn�t care where we went, or at least I thought I didn�t care, until I saw where he took us. It was this crappy little Italian restaurant way down in the bad part of West Ave. When we walked inside I almost gasped. I know! It�s terrible, but I couldn�t help it. My eyes got huge just looking around. The place was dirty, and it was almost dark inside. I don�t know why he took me there. We ordered, and the portions were so small that I finished my entire quote-unquote plate of spaghetti in five minutes. I should have gone slower though, because he just babbled on the entire time. I could barely get a word in, so I was forced to stare at the dirty walls of the restaurant. He just went on and on and on about the most mundane things: the movie he rented last night; the book he read his senior year in college, yes, one book; his stupid computer! what the hell do I care about his computer? And he kept calling me MONICA. I told him at least five times it�s VERONICA, but I don�t think he was listening. It was awful. Maybe it�s a good thing I couldn�t get my say in, I probably would�ve said something rude. He finally finished his dinner, it took forever because he wouldn�t shut up long enough to chew, let alone swallow, and I ordered dessert. I was so hungry. And how can you mess up chocolate? How? I�ll tell you how. You can make it taste like dirt. This was the most disgusting piece of cake ever. I offered him a bit hoping he�d either realize what a shit-hole he brought me too or he�d actually think it was good and eat it all. He didn�t do either, and so I had to choke down the whole thing. It was awful, but I didn�t want to be rude. He grabbed the check before I could see it, probably because he was ashamed that our entire meal only cost ten bucks. Thank God he took me home after that. I don�t think I could�ve handled much more. He tried to kiss me at the door, but I just looked away and pretended to be a prude. He managed to kiss my cheek, but what the hell, I can deal with that. He said he�d call me later, but I�m screening my calls now, so I�ll never have to see him again. I know! How could a person be so awful?�
neb 2/16/04
[HOME]
|