The Storm
"I'll be sure to send you all an owl within the next few days, so don't
be frantic if I remain silent for a few days!"
"Yeah, you'd better, Remus J. Lupin, or the whole lot of us will come after
you in the night!"
"Of that I have no doubt, Sirius!" Remus laughed as he hopped down
from the iron steps of the train, the warm winds of summer buffetting his lean
body and ruffling his silver-flecked chestnut hair.His azure eyes glimmered
with a certain sadness, for this was their last year of childhood. Only one
more year of Hogwarts lay before them. Sighing longingly, he turned and looked
up at Sirius, who was bounding down the steps, jumping the last one and narrowly
missing his friend. He laughed heartily, his grey eyes alight with a youthful
gleam, and sighed, laying a hand upon Remus' shoulder.
"Oh, Sirius," Remus said, sighing and putting his hand upon his heart
with an statement of mock seriousness upon his handsome features. "Just
think...this time next year...we will be free. alone to fend for ourselves in
this wide and perilous world."
"The world is doomed!" came the voice of James Potter as he stepped
from the train. His dark eyes gleamed behind his round glasses, and the wind
mussed his naturally messy ebony hair.
"And just what is that supposed to mean, James?" Sirius asked, turning
quickly away from Remus to lay his eyes upon Potter with a raised eyebrow, his
ebon hair falling into his face as he did so.
"It means that I don't think that the world is ready for the Marauders!"
came Lily Evans' voice as she hopped from the Hogwarts Express, the wind blowing
her copper hair against her face as she looked about.
"Oh, I couldn't agree more!" Sirius replied with a laugh, then turned
to look out over the crowd of wizards and witches there for their children as
he looked for his own parents. But something else caught his eye.
"Hey...who is that?" he asked his friends, tapping Remus and James
on the shoulder and gesturing to his left.
"I don't know; I've never seen her here before," answered James, but
Remus said nothing, his gaze fixed upon her with a strange glimmer in his eyes.
A woman stood near the exit to Kings' Cross, her robes looking disheveled and
frail upon her thin, sickly frame. Her long, tawny brown hair was pulled back
to keep it away from her thin face, and she appeared tired and frightened; her
dark, sunken eyes looking around carefully. She appeared a mere ghost of a woman,
once beautiful and vivacious, now pulled away from reality by a strange, unseen
force. She clutched her robes and wand closer about her, as though the warm
wind was a winter breeze, chilling her to the bone.
"Remus? Do you know who she is?" came James' concerned voice, shaking
him from his reverie.
"Yes...yes, I know her." Suddenly, Remus was moving, grabbing his
things up into his arms and heaving a sigh. "She's my mother." With
that, he turned and started to hurry off. But Sirius asked a question that caused
him to stop and look back.
"She surely can't be here alone! Where's your father?"
Remus halted quickly and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Turning back
to face his friends one last time before leaving, his eyes suddenly revealed
a trace of a symptom that they had not witnessed in his azure eyes for years.
It was fear and regret; strange and almost alien to his handsome, youthful blue
eyes. It was a trait that gave him the appearance of one who had lived a long
and pain-riddled lifetime; full of unjust burdens.
"My father is dead," he said quickly, and turned as quickly as possible.
He did not want to wait around for Sirius to delve deeper into his father; it
was devastating enough without revealing it openly. He closed his eyes for a
moment in rememberence of that terrible night, then opened them as he stepped
up to his wispy mother. He smiled at her in an attempt to hide his uneasiness.
"Hello, Mum," he began, a pleasant tone in his charming voice, "Miss
me?"
His mother simply regarded him with cold grey eyes and turned, her robes fluttering
behind her as she made her way towards the exit into Kings' Cross. Remus sighed
and lowered his eyes a bit; the wind casting some of his silvery hair over his
eyes, then followed. She hadn't been the same since that night. He had been
nine years old.
His father had been a good man; kind and intellgent. He had borne a great compassion
for the magically afflicted; especially those that bore the curse of lycanthropy.
He had been the head of the Werewolf Support Services for many years before
Remus had been born. He loved his job just as he loved his family, and when
Remus was bitten and nearly kiled at the age of four years; it compelled him
even further to find a successful cure for the werewolves. He was the one that
Remus had clung to for support before and after each full moon; his father was
always on watch to make sure that Remus did not only injure others, but himself
as well. Always being there for Remus proved to be his downfall as well.
Remus remembered well the terrible bloody scene; the crimson that stained his
hands and his body under the pale morning light...
For a moment, he looked around frantically; though he was weak, he was frightened
and confused at the sight of blood; he had not killed someone...had he? No,
that was impossible, his father was always there to prevent that. It was then
that his troubled nine-year old eyes found the mangled corpse a few feet ahead.
The face was indiscernable; and fluids soaked the area surrounding the body.
Remus fell back; the chill wind battered his bare body under the cruel winter
sun as he looked upon his victim. The trees howled aorund him from the gusts,
and slowly, he crawled towards the corpse, hands trembling.
Blood matted the chestnut hair that was left upon the body; the clothing, Ministry
of Magic robes, were shredded and torn all down the torso and through the chest,
and blashphemous gashes still seeped dark red blood onto the forest floor. A
wand lay nearby, still glowing a bit from a previous and last spell. The kill
had been fresh...and coldblooded. Remus shook his young head, tears of heavy
guilt and fear trespassing upon his innocent; weary face. He had murdered...at
the young age of nine, he had murdered his father in a fit of cold blood...all
because a damned disease that rushed viciously and malevolently through his
veins.
His mother had never really forgiven her son though she knew in her heart that
he could not have helped himself. She slowly became more recluse and wary of
her son; anytime he stepped into a room, she jumped back slightly and pulled
away from him. When he had recieved a letter from Albus Dumbledore that told
him that he could attend Hogwarts with special precautions, she snubbed at the
letter and let Remus decide. When he had departed from the house to head for
the Hogwarts Express on his first day...she did not even say good-bye. Remus
had tried several times to bring down the wall that she had raised between them,
but each time, it gave her more animosity towards him; it was as though she
thought that his attempts to be a son were merely a way for him to get more
prey.
"Remus!" barked a voice, startling him from his painful memories.
He jolted and looked up at his mother; he hadn't even realized that they were
home. She eyed him dangerously, then swept into the house, her long ebon hair
wafting wispily behind her. Remus sighed and shook his head as he looked past
the house and into the dark forest beyond. The sun had begun to set, and dark
clouds were beginning to come over the horizon. The air smelled of rain. With
a grunt, he lugged his possessions over his shoulder and under an arm, and trudged
heavily into the old, weed-entagled house. Once the house had been lovely and
beautiful, well-kept and free of strangling gnomes and plants. But they no longer
had enough money to pay for a gardner, and his mother had lost any drive to
leave the house even for something as trivial as flowers.
He stepped inside the house and looked around as he set his meager amount of
belongings on the floor. Nothing had changed since last September. The air was
musty and the walls were slowly darkening with mildew, and the once fine furniture
had fallen into disrepair. To many of those he knew, they would never even dream
to live in such a state, but for Remus, it was nothing strange; living conditions
were the least of his worries, and he knew what it was like to live under harsher
conditions. He looked around and saw that his mother's door was ajar; it was
dark now, and the other light was coming from her room. Feeling that he should
finally try and get some sense into his mother, he took a breath and stepped
forward towards her room. He slowly opened the door; it creaked terribly, and
he looked in on her with a curious expression.
"Mum?" he asked softly. She stood before a tall looking glass, her
back facing him. Her long hair floated down her back, contrasting greatly with
the stark white nightgown that she wore. He could not know her expression. "Mum?"
he ventured again, stepping forward and reaching out a gentle hand. "Are
you alright? Perhaps you need some rest," he said gently. But before he
could lay his hand warmly upon her shoulder, she whirled around to face him,
her grey eyes flashing and a great silver saber in her hands, gleaming from
the candlelight with a dangerous light. Wide-eyed, Remus too ka step back; fear
clenched his heart with its chilling fingers as he stepped back; his azure eyes
alight with trepidation and confusion.
"Mother?" he reiterated; his hands up and trembling. She raised and
blade and stood before him, regarding her son angrily.
"I do not need any rest...Do not lay your bloody hands upon me...Out...get
out, now. Leave me and take all those painful memories with you!" she cried,
her voice loud and cold as she pointed the saber at him grimly. "You are
not my son...my son died in the forest thirteen years ago...and left behind
a taunting shadow of him; a monster. Get out now, or I shall kill you as you
killed your father, in cold blood and bloodthirst!"
As these words escaped her pale lips, Remus felt his defenses fall all about
him. Eyeing the blade with defiance, he stood up straight and erect and gazed
into her angered face.
"So you would leave me without family; without ties to anything that I
am?" he cried, fists clenched at his sides in frustration.
"You are a beast! A savage, unhumanly beast!" she screamed to him.
"You are nothing but that! You're nothing more to me than the murderer
of my son and my husband!" With that, she leapt forward at him, her eyes
flaring with enraged and fearful fire. The blade sheened in the dim candlelight
as she brought it to bear. Remus stood there stark still in horrified shock,
his blue eyes glittering with bewildered confusion. He stepped back quickly
and tried to jump out of the way of the stinging blade, but she was too fast.
He felt the fiery touch of the silver swipe lightly across his cheek, drawing
a line of bright crimson. Though it was not a mortal wound, the effect that
silver had on his lycanthrope body was quick and strong. Where the blade had
touched blood was searing with fiery pain so great it made him reel in dizziness.
He stumbled back, hand presed against his wound, and fell against a wardrobe
roughly. His shoulder and back protested in pain as he managed to look up at
his mother, who was coming at him swiftly. With what strength he had, he fell
from her slicing blow and tumbled haphazardly across the unpolished wooden floor.
He came out of the roll as he rammed into the wall outside of her room; it knocked
the wind out of him for a moment. He staggered to his feet just as she came
to the door and looked down upon him with fiery, condencending eyes. A wicked,
almost insane smile curled upon her faint lips.
"So it ends, my...son," she spat down at him. In the distance, faint
lightening flashed through the oncoming cloud cover. The silver light flared
upon her thin, frail face as he gazed up at her. A determined expression suddenly
found its way onto Remus' handsome though wounded features as he gazed at the
shining blade. He shook his head quickly, the dim candlelight highlighting the
silver in his hair.
"No, mother; it will not finish here," he said defiantly, raising
his head to look her directly in the eyes. With surprising swiftness, he ducked
from the blade and ran from her. He heard her cry out in rage; her footsteps,
though light, were pounding in Remus' ears; they were the footfalls of death.
He came into the living area where he had left his trunk and other meager possessions,
and from his folded robes he pulled out his wand and pointed it at her. Knowing
that this was breaking the law of Underage Wizards, but not really caring, he
fixed his azure eyes on her and pointed the trembling wand at her swiftly oncoming
form.
"Expelliarmus!" he bellowed. A shot of greenish-silver flew from the
tip of his wand. With a seemingly vociferous sound of clashing metal, the saber
flew rom his mother's hand. She staggered back a few steps and narrowed her
smokey eyes at him, clencing her fists at her sides. He looked at her with a
heaving chest; the wound still sapping his strength steadily and burning like
fire. He took a few deep breaths and lowered his hand steadily, bitterness full
in his gaze. "Good-bye, mother. You'll never be...plagued and terrorized
by this...monster again," he said bitterly, and turned, running from the
house that he no longer would ever call his home. His feet pounded upon the
path as he ran, and he heard the door slamming shut behind him. It opened again,
and a voice cried out to him, full of glee and rage.
"Yes! Death is too good a fate for a creature such as you! Live with your
abberation; suffer the guilt and terror of the thing you are! You will find
no resting place in this cruel world; you have no friends to watch over you!
Go; maybe you'll rid the world of your damned pestilence!"
Although he heard these words in his ears as he turned down the road and knew
that he should not take these things seriously; they still fell full upon his
heart. The tears fell full upon his cheeks as he ran forward, still staggering
slightly. His shoulder raged with bruised pain and the wound upon his face felt
as though a hot poker had been placed upon his cheek. He gritted his teeth as
the thunder came from the sky and the rain began to fall; much like the storm
that was raging in his soul. Monster...creature? Was he truely these things?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The road had taken him a long ways; he had not ceased running for fear that
his mother might still trailing him. While he doubted this, he simply felt compelled
to run, as far away from that dread house. He didn't know how long he had been
running; in the midst of the beating rain and berating winds he had lost track
of time. His clothing was soaked from the harsh rain, and his body still was
weak from the silver blade. He shivered violently as he came into the lights
of a small city. He hid his wand and continued to run, ignoring the stitch in
his side. The street lights overhead flashed down upon Remus as he ran; this
was a primarily Muggle city. Clutching the Ministry of Magic warning in his
palm, he shoved the wet piece of parchment into his pocket and paused, leaning
under an overhang on a building.
He took a few redeeming breaths and closed his eyes for a moment. The roar of
the thunder was harsh in his ears, and the pounding rain that fell upon his
weary head stung his woesome gash severely. He wiped some rain from his tired
features and sighed, looking down at his feet. His clothing was soiled from
the heavy rains, and as he looked out over the deserted, simly lit streets,
he suddenly felt very alone. his thoughts drifted back to his mother's cruel
words, and he cringed.
"No...I have friends...I do...and if they could see me in such a state;
they would be outraged...if only I could find out where I am..." he muttered
to himself tiredly. Lightening flashed overhead followed by a loud clap of thunder,
causing him to jump. He glanced down the streets quickly, and started on his
way again. There was no time for leisurely strolls in this horrid weather. Although
he was slowly losing his stamina from the silver blade's mark, he didn't let
this stop him. His thoughts kept drifint back to the terrible events of the
day, and he began to wonder, "Perhaps my mother is right...perhaps I am
just a filthy, terrible beast..." He sat down in a small , enclosed outdoor
bus terminal and regarded his reflection in the glass map cover. His face was
drawn and haggard, and his clothes and hair were in a state of terrible disarry.
"And I look like a creature...a thing that no one cared enough for to keep
in a warm house..."
But as he was looking, he realized what exactly he had come across. Under that
glass was a map, outlaying all the bus routes for this city that he was in.
He ran his hands over the tiny words and multicolored route markers quickly,
scanning for a familir name. He glanced at the city's name and regarded it with
firm scrutiny.
"Kensington..." he replied to himself softly, his brow creased lightly
with thought. "I know that name...where have I heard that name before?"
After a few moments of silent thought under the harsh music of pounding rain
on plastic, it came to him. "Sirius! Sirius lives here!" He heaved
a sigh of relief and leaned back against the terminal's thin back wall. He had
to get there, tonight. He couldn't stay here the entire night in the chilled
rain.
After another moment, he sighed and stood; he couldn't delay any longer. He
only hoped that Sirius was home. As he stood and started to step out from the
sheltered terminal, a thought struck him. He didn't exactly know where Sirius'
exact address was. He looked around quickly for the nearest telephone booth;
he had learned about them in Muggle Studies a few years back. They supposedly
had things called "Telephone Directories" inside that told the address
and sometimes phone numbers of all the residents of a particular town or city.
Without delay, he quickly looked about for a phone booth, and finally found
one; thankfully enclosed. He stepped in quickly and pulled out his wand.
"Lumos," he whispered, and suddenly the dark booth was filled with
dim light. Remus looked about the small booth quickly and saw the thick directory
upon a small, graffitti-covered shelf. He pulled it into his tired arms and
pulled upon the wrinkled, thin pages. The adrenaline was still pumping through
his veins, keeping the inevitable exhaustion at bay for the moment. At first
he started to look in the "S" section for Sirius, but it took him
a few moments to realize that the names were listed in alphabetical order...by
last name. With a tired sigh, he heaved the sizable front portion of the book
back over until he reached the "B" section. He ran his trembling finger
down the paper quickly, and almost missed the names he was looking for. He closed
his eyes for a moment and leaned thankfully back against the glass walls of
the booth.
"I hope Wendell and Isis Black are in the mood for late-night, sopping
wet visitors..." he mused to himself as he ripped out the page that held
the address of his hopeful santuary. "Nox," he said softly, and the
light upon the tip of his wand was vanquished. Overhead, the rain still beat
roughly, and he sighed as he opened the gliding door. Without another thought,
he dashed out into the glum, thunderous night. As the thunder pounded overhead,
so did his heart and the wound upon his face; both from weariness and a great
emotional struggle inside his mind.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nothing beat being home alone for a week, mused Sirius in his subconscious state.
He would be able to sleep in as late as he wanted and not worry about parents
bugging him or waking him up at all hours of the night banging on his door and
such...Thank God for Ministry of Magic Out-of-Country trips...
*Bang bang!*
This sound brought Sirius up from his slumber quickly. He looked blearily around
his dark room, illuminated every once and a while by flashes of lightening.
He shook his head and grumbled about thunder as he laid back down. He yawned
and stretched himself out across the bed, throwing his arm over the headboard
tiredly. The pitter-patter of the rain against his windowpane performed as a
natural lullaby for a while, but not for long.
Sirius sat up as the banging beacme more distinctive. Over the dull roar of
the rain he could hear a voice, though very slightly, which confused him a bit;
who in their right mind would be out in the rain this late at night? He stumbled
ungracefully from bed and grabbed a slightly melted candle. He lit it and rubbed
his eyes a bit, trying to banish the sleep from his eyes. He scratched his head
grumpily, which mussed his already messy ebony hair, and slowly plodded from
his room. The candle made for dim light, and his wand would have been brighter,
but he was simply too lazy at the moment to worry about such things.
"This had better be good," he grumbled in his sleep-dulled voice as
he neared the front door. The bangings were more insistant with each time, and
finally, Sirius was there. "Alright, alright, I'm here...geez..."
he said tiredly, setting the candle on the nearby front table. He grasped the
cool doorknob and turned it, opening the door slightly to shield himself from
the rain. "Who's there..." he said, sounding more like a statement
rather than a question. But lightening illuminated the dark front steps, shining
upon the visitor's face. Sirius' eyes went wide.
Standing there upon his doorstep was none other than Remus Lupin, breathless.
He was soaking wet and held a crumpled, hopelessly soiled piece of thin paper
in his hand. The water dripped from the ends of his drenched hair and down his
tired, fearful face, and a terrible, bloody gash ran down his left cheek. His
chest heaved with his labored breathing, and in the storm's electric light,
Sirius could see the great anguish and exhaustion that lay hidden under the
surface.
"Remus!" he cried in shock, and quickly reached for him, pulling him
inside the warm house. He quickly closed the door afterwards and put his hands
upon his desperate friend's shoulder. "Remus, what's wrong? What happened!?
Why are you here?" he asked quickly, but shook his hand on second thought.
"Tell me in a minute; I've gotta get you something to dry off with!"
he cried, running off for the linen closet, leaving Remus standing in the foyer,
alone and shivering. After a moment, he came back, toting several thick, fluffy
towels. Sirius could barely see his friend's face in the dim candlelight, but
nevertheless, he found his wet, trembling body and threw a few towels over his
shoulders and head. He was fully awake now, and terribly concerned for Remus;
something must've happened, something bad; for Remus to run all this way in
the pelting rain. He grabbed his candle and started to lead him to his room.
As Remus felt the towels fall over his body, he closed his eyes and gave a thankful
prayer to the heavens that he had Sirius. He followed Sirius into his room and
sat down on the bed, shivering still. Sirius sat down in front of him, setting
the retrieved candle upon his bedside table. Remus could see the intense worry
that lined Sirius' youthful, tired face, and he took a deep breath to try and
calm himself a bit.
"Remus; what happened?" Sirius finally asked, putting a warm hand
upon Remus' shoulder. Gently, he reached up and let his finger touch the gash
ever so lightly, but as his fingertips barely brushed the wound, Remus reeled
back in pain, inhaling sharply. "Remus...who did this to you?" he
asked, softer and more imploringly.
Remus looked up and looked into Sirius' shaded eyes, and the memories of his
mother and her awful words came rushing back to him in a great flood. Now that
he knew he was safe, the adrenaline was ebbing, and it realased it's grasping
hold upon his mind and body. Then the tears came down his cheeks; warm salty
tears edging painfully on the bloody slash.
"My mother..." he said softly, barely audible over the beating rain
outside. "My mother did it," he said again, a bit louder and bitterly.
"Because I'm a monster, a vicious being with no conscience, only a primeval
whim to murder and massacre innocents for my own devious pleasure." His
voice was cold and bitter, but rather to himself than his mother.
Sirius looked shocked and slightly appalled. "Your mother?" he spat
in disbelief. "Why would she-"
"Because I killed my father, Sirius! I killed him; his body was so mangled
that it was undiscernable as to who he even was!" Remus cried sharply,
looking directly into Sirius' darkened grey eyes with a terrible, frantic expression.
The room went silent as Remus shouted these horrible words, save for the vicious
crack of lightening outside. Sirius stared at him for a moment as he watched
Remus, usually strong and smiling, dissolve into anguished sobs before him,
soaked and riddled with fear and unease. Sirius closed his eyes in disbelief.
"Was it on the full moon?" he asked softly.
"You think I would kill him on purpose? My father was the only one who
ever truly understood the pain I went through every month; why would I kill
him purposely?" he asked, again bitter. The lightening flashed upon his
for, gleaming in the dripping silvery hair and casting a momentary light upon
him; as if reflecting the storm that was raging inside of him. Remus bowed his
head and shivered, wrapping his arms about himself. "So she wanted to exact
revenge for him...kill me as I killed him...so called me such names that I cannot
bear to repeat...she came at me with a silver saber...and it struck me across
the face, sapping my strength...so I ran as fast as I could from there; I didn't
know where I was headed...I suppose my fear was the only thing that fueled me
to get this far...you're not going to turn me out as she did for your own fear,
will you?" he suddenly asked, not looking at Sirius' face. But suddenly,
a pair of warm arms wrapped around his cold shoulders and pulled him into a
safe embrace. Gentle fingertips ran through his wet hair, and Remus closed his
eyes as he heard Sirius' heartbeat, soft and rhythmic in his ear..
"Never...I'll never be as selfish, foolish, or cowardly as she...you deserve
so much better than this; to be thrown out in the rain for something that you
could not have helped; I'm not one to try and murder for my own gain...you know
me so much better than that. But never will I be able to forgive her for her
actions...you can stay here with me; forever if you like..." Sirius paused
as these words escaped his lips, and he glanced down at the trembling figure
of Remus in his arms with a soft gaze. He wasn't shivering so much any more
in his arms, and Sirius didn't mind getting a bit wet...for so long, Remus had
borne such a great burden of pain and grief. Sirius thought it was unjust that
his dear friend had to be cursed in such a manner, and by God, he would do anything
to try and help ease some of this pain. "Did she say anything else...Remus?"
he urged lightly; maybe if he got Remus to talk a bit more about it, he might
get some of it off of his chest.
Remus took a shuddered breath and put his hands on Sirius' arms, squeezing lightly.
"She said..." he took a breath; the words were branded like fire in
his mind. "She said, "Death is too good a fate for a creature such
as you...Live with your abberation; suffer the guilt and terror of the thing
you are...You will find no resting place in this cruel world; you have no friends
to watch over you..Go; maybe you'll rid the world of your damned pestilence!"..."
Remus shuddered again and closed his eyes, still not making eye contact.
"The world won't be rid of you so easily; not if I have anything to say
about it," Sirius said firmly, and gently pulled Remus' head up so that
they could look at each other eye-to-eye. Sirius' eyes, while determined, shown
with a gentle light of compassion, and Remus smiled ever so slightly.
"Thank you..."
Sirius returned the smile, and as he looked upon the face of his distraught
companion, he felt a strange sensation upon his mind. He gently moved one of
his hands to the wounded cheek and brushed a few tears away. He made sure not
to touch the wound itself for fear of causing more pain to Remus. They were
so close, and as the lightening flashed outside again, Remus' face was illuminated
again; his hair was no longer dripping, and his face shown a great deal more
releif than horror and pain. His azure eyes gleamed in the dim candlelight,
and Sirius had to stop himself. His mind was whirling; now he had an internal
storm of his own to contend with...
A kiss...so innocent a thing, and yet it caused Sirius great apprehension. If
he were to kiss Remus now...would he regret it the moment after? Would Remus
recoil with loathing or even fear at this display of slight intimacy? So much
lay at stake in that action, and the words that Sirius feared might follow;
seeing Remus in such pain had done only strengthing of the soft love that Sirius
had felt for him...and yet it caused him so much tribulation. The price might
be the death of one or many cherished relationships...a price that Sirius deemed
quite high.
But as he looked down into the thankful face of Remus, a thought came to him.
Similar demons...Remus had felt the same fear when he realized that his friends
were discovering his lycanthropy...Remus had feared loathing and trepidation;
the breaking of friendships from the people that had given him so much loyalty
and hope...and yet when they did find out, Sirius and James did not care, nor
did Peter. no; they even helped him...was it not just coincidence that he and
Remus should be battling such similar demons? Sirius didn't think so; he didn't
believe in coincidence.
Slowly, he brought his face very close to Remus' and smiled at him lightly.
He brushed a few strands of dangling, damp hair from his face and let his hand
rest on his unmarred cheek gently.
"Remus...you'll never be alone again...you'll never have to suffer alone
again...Remus?" Sirius paused and swallowed lightly. "What would you
do...if I kissed you?" he asked very softly and slowly; careful about his
words.
Remus' eyes didn't show surprise nor fear; if anything, he looked calm and gently
happy. "I might do this," he said softly, and gently leaned in the
extra inch and pressed his lips against Sirius' tenderly. Though he still trembled
slightly; all tremors seemed to fall away for a moment in that moment of intimacy;
the thoughts of his mother's vicious words and her silver saber, the running
and exhaustion...even the storm outside seemed to ebb for a moment, as did the
raging tempest in Remus' own heart. He wrapped his weary arms around Sirius
as he pulled away from his lips,and regarded him carefully with a smile unlike
one Sirius had ever seen before upon Remus' youthful face.
Sirius chuckled very lighty and felt all doubts fall from his mind; the raging
maelstrom inside had fallen silent; he no longer had anything to fear. He held
Remus close and sighed gently as he ran a few tender fingertips through the
ends of Remus' mussed, damp hair. Then, the words that he had feared might come
after that fateful kiss came, but not with the trepidation that Sirius had felt
before. No indeed...these words were some of the easiest words he had ever uttered.
"I love you, Moony..."
~*You hadn't seen your father in such a long time
He died in the arms of his lover how dare he
Your mother never left the house
She never married anyone else
You took it upon yourself to console her
You reminded her so much of your father
So you were banished
And you wonder why you're so hypersensitive
And why you can't trust anyone but us
But then how can i begin to forgive her
So many years under bridges with dirty water
She was foolish and selfish and cowardly if you ask me
So here we both are battling similar demons (not coincidentally)
You see in getting beyond knowing it solely intellectually you're not relinquishing
your majestry
You are wise you are warm you are courageous you are big
And i love you more now than i ever have in my whole life*~
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