Sirius Black was just waking up from a very heavy slumber when Remus Lupin walked into their dormitory and collapsed onto his bed with a grunt. The previous night had been a full moon, and while their room-mates had been called to their respective homes for the Christmas holidays, Remus and Sirius had stayed at school, Remus because it was safer than the arrangements that protected his family at home, and Sirius because...well, mostly because he knew Remus needed him.
When he realized Remus had come in, he left his own bed and walked over to stand next to him. "You OK, Remus?"
"Mmmf," said Remus, peeling his face off his pillow to grunt at Sirius. "Yeah. Thanks, Siri. Just..."
"Still sore?" Sirius murmured, sitting carefully next to him. Remus mumbled an affirmative, and Sirius reached out and put his hands on his friend's shoulders, rubbing gently. Remus gasped softly, surprised, and then closed is eyes, arching backward into the touch. "Mm, Padfoot," he said softly. "Where'd you learn that?"
"Mum." Sirius chuckled softly. "Loves a good backrub, does my mother. Taught me ages ago."
"And it took you this long to do it for me?"
"Don't feel bad, Remus. I've never even done this for a girl."
Remus blinked, surprised. "Really?"
"Mmm. " Sirius grinned. "Snogging I can do, a shag now and then, sure, but massage? Too intimate. Too special. That's something you reserve for people you care about."
Remus blinked a few more times. "And you care that much? A-about me?"
"Sure." Sirius moved down Remus' back, prompting a small gasp as he dug the heel of his hand into his friend's spine. "Oh, did I hurt you?"
N-no," Remus stammered. "It felt…good." That was, of course, an understatement of colossal proportions. "Do…I've never seen you do this for James."
"That's because I haven't."
"Oh." Remus was silent for a long moment, during which Sirius moved from his back to his legs, ignoring the voice in his head that said Remus' bum was probably in need of attention too. "Why me?" he said finally, just as Sirius was skillfully working the tension out of his calves.
"You looked like you needed it. Why? Do you want me to stop?"
"No!" Remus forced himself to relax as the sheer force of that cry cause Sirius to stop what he was doing from surprise. "No, please. It…it feels very good. Thank you."
Sirius grinned. "No problem, Moony!" he said cheerfully, continuing to massage his calves. "Glad to be of assistance. Arms next?"
"Oh…if you wouldn't mind…" Remus closed his eyes, sagging into his pillow. Sirius was touching him. Sirius was touching him in an intimate way, a way he confessed he'd never even touched a girl, or James, who he loved like a brother. Surely this was heaven.
"Don't mind a bit, Moony." Sirius moved up to the thighs, rubbing a bit more cautiously. "Er, if this makes you uncomfortable, this part, I can skip…"
"No…please." Remus shook his head. "It feels wonderful." Sirius grinned and resumed his ministrations, and another comfortable silence fell. "Sirius?" said Remus, at length.
"Mmm?" said Sirius.
"If this is too intimate to do with girls…and you've never done it with James…why are you willing to do it with me?"
Sirius' hands froze on Remus' thighs, and Remus cursed himself silently. Damnit, you just had to open your mouth, now he's stopped touching you, and damn it, how long have you wanted him to touch you? "I'm sorry, Sirius, I didn't mean it the way it came out, I was just…"
"I know. It's all right." Sirius resumed massaging, and another, more thoughtful silence passed before he spoke again. "To be honest, Remus? I'm not sure. I wouldn't do this for most people, wouldn't touch a girl like this, or Jamie, or God forbid Peter. But you…there's…something. I don't know what it is. You're not…I don't think of you like I do them. Pete's a good friend, and Jamie's like my brother, and girls are fun, but…you're different. More important."
Remus suddenly found he was having trouble breathing. "I…I'm. More important to you than…than James, even?"
"Well…in a way…yeah. I love Jamie, don't get me wrong, but…well. You're special."
"Oh," Remus whispered. "Sirius. I…I don't know what to say."
"Turn over, Remus."
"What?"
"Turn over. It's time to do your front."
Now Remus really couldn't breathe. "Oh," he said, and rolled over onto his back, blinking at Sirius, who was watching him with an unreadable expression. He started at the feet, this time, rubbing the soles with a firm but gentle touch that sent shivers down Remus' spine. From there he continued to move upward, over the calves and to the thighs, and it was at about this point that Remus realized that if Sirius didn't stop soon he was going to discover something Remus really wanted to keep hidden. "Sirius…stop," he said, and was rather grateful when his friend obeyed instantly, pulling his hands away.
"Sorry," Sirius said, flushing slightly. "Too close for comfort, hey?"
"It's all right," Remus said. "I just…"
"I understand," Sirius said with a quiet chuckle. "Arms, then?"
Remus smiled, grateful. "Please."
Sirius reached out and took one of Remus' arms, starting just under the shoulder. Remus closed his eyes, leaned back and allowed himself to relish the feel of it, those strong, broad hands. He'd always loved Sirius' hands, which could be brutally strong or breathtakingly gentle depending on their owner's mood. Some of his best memories centered around Sirius' hands. Their first meeting, in Ollivander's wand shop, when Sirius and James had come in just as Remus was waving what would soon be his new wand, accidentally Summoning James' glasses. They'd flown straight off the other boy's face and Remus, blessed with extraordinary reflexes, had caught them neatly. James and Sirius, the Quidditch-obsessed, had been so impressed they'd insisted on hanging out with him the rest of the day. Remus had been pleasantly bewildered to find that they genuinely seemed to like him. And Sirus had shook his hand.
The day they'd discovered his secret, the day he'd walked into their dorm to find James, Sirius and Peter all on his bed, huddled over a book about werewolves and pinning him with eerily identical expressions of determination. He'd turned around to take flight and Sirius had launched himself off the bed, wrapping those hands around his waist and making it rather clear that Remus would have to hurt him to shake him off. Remus, by this time, had already got quite attached to them and had no intention of hurting any of them. Sirius' hand on his shoulder, his grip tight, as he swore he would never turn his back on Remus, lycanthropy or not. You're my friend, Remus. I don't give a bloody damn what that book says. You're not a werewolf. Not to me. I'll never think of you as anything but Remus Lupin, my friend. Those same hands, patting his back as he cried tears of relief, of joy over his new acceptance.
The night they decided to become Animagi. Sirius' hands encompassing his, squeezing affectionately, promising Remus they would be careful, telling him not to worry, reassuring him that they would be fine. The night they finally managed it, those hands raised in triumph as James, the pioneer in the group, blinked up at them from the eyes of a young buck. Those hands, shocking them all, shocking himself perhaps more than any of them, as they morphed from human hands to the great, massive black paws of the animal that was closest to the wolf.
There were less pleasant memories. Sirius' hands, clasped together, pleading Remus' forgiveness following that incident with the tree. Sirius' hands, awkward, consoling as James wept on his best friend's shoulder following the death of his father. Clenched into fists, nails digging into callused palms, as he struggled against tears of his own upon learning that his father was dead too. Wrapped around Remus' waist, later, as he cried on his friend's lap, worn out from being strong from James, desperately in need of comfort of his own.
It was feeling those hands brush against the palms of his own that brought Remus back to the present. Sirius was watching him, those pale, rather odd eyes focused on him. "Knut for your thoughts."
"They're worth a lot more than that. I was thinking about you."
Sirius blinked, stunned. "Oh…" he said softly. "What about me?"
"The tree."
Sirius flinched and dropped his hand. "Oh."
Remus grabbed both of his friend's hands and gathered them in his. "And how glad I am that I forgave you."
Sirius swallowed. "Oh…"
"Because you mean a lot to me, you know that, right, Sirius? I mean, I care about you.
A lot." Remus laughed shakily. "God, that sounds silly, but I do. You and Jamie and
Pete...but you especially, somehow."
Sirius stared at him, wide-eyed, for a moment. "Really?" he said softly. "You mean that?
even after..."
"Even after that. How could I not?" Remus laughed softly. "You and the others accepted
me when nobody else would...and if you don't think I know you and James had a hard time
convincing Peter, you don't give me enough credit."
"It wasn't easy. Took most of the afternoon. Finally we had to ask him who he would rather
hare a dorm with, you or Snape? That did the trick right fast. You he wasn't sure about.
Snape he knows full well is dangerous. Oh, Remus," Sirius said, and all but pounced on
him, pulling him into an exuberant hug.
And then froze, shocked, as he felt a rather personal part of Remus' anatomy press up against his thigh, hard.
Remus froze, too, horrified. "Oh. Oh, bloody Hell. Sirius...Sirius, I'm sorry..."
Sirius looked up slowly, staring Remus right in the eyes. "Is that...are you...do you..."
Remus lowered his eyes and nodded. "I'm sorry," he whispered again. "I can't help it. You just...you're so...you...I can't explain it...please don't be mad at me..."
"I'm not mad, Remus...mad at you isn't something I'm capable of." Sirius reached up to graze Remus' cheek lightly with one hand, smiling as Remus looked back up at him, eyes wide and uncertain. "In fact, I'm quite grateful."
"Grateful?" Remus whispered. "Grateful...for what? Why?"
"Because until just a second ago, I didn't know why you forgiving me for the tree thing was so important to me." Sirius tilted Remus' jaw up slightly. "But now I know," he whispered, and leaned down, brushing their lips together.
Remus froze, shocked and uncertain - and more than a little aroused. Sirius was kissing him. Sirius was touching his face with those beloved hands and kissing him. This was a dream, he was going to wake up any moment now, alone in bed, still sore in more places than one.
But no. Sirius was kissing him. And he was awake. and those hands. God, those hands were
softer than they'd ever been, cupping his face as Sirius kissed him, and Remus felt himself melt, first his bones, then his insides, and he went totally limp under his friend, wanting, needing more. Sirius. Oh, God, Sirius, I've fallen in love with you.
Sirius pulled away suddenly, and Remus blinked up at him, surprised. "Sirius?" he whispered. "Why are you stopping?"
Sirius smiled and reached for the clasp to Remus' robes. "Because I want to see you," he said softly, "and I can't if we're kissing."
"Oh," said Remus, and sighed as Sirius undid his robes, pulling them gently away from his body. He closed his eyes, unable to meet Sirius' gaze as his - friend? lover? - studied him. Monthly encounters with the wolf had left him covered with scars, and he'd always thought of himself as rather unattractive under his clothes.
Obviously Sirius disagreed, he realized dadzedly, as he felt those beloved hands reach down touch his chest, tracing the scars lightly. He gasped at the first touch of those hands on his more sensitive skin, soft, worshipful. Remus loved those hands. They were soft, now, softer even than when they'd touched his cheeks, soft as silk as they stroked his sides, traced his ribs. He moaned and tilted his head back as they pinched his nipples lightly, sending jolts of pleasure through him like wires straight to his cock. Sirius continued to touch him, so gently, pale eyes soft and slightly clouded with lust. Remus shuddered when those hands wandered down, fingers combing whisper-soft through the patch of hair at his groin, then gasped as they ventured even further, brushing lightly against the even softer skin of his balls.
"Siri," he whimpered, and kissed him frantically, nipping on his lower lip and sucking desperately on his tongue. Sirius gasped into the kiss, arching up against Remus, their bodies melded as closely together as their mouths. He could feel Remus’ erection pressed firmly against his, and moved his hips a little, prompting a startled, high-pitched whimper out of Remus, who opened his mouth further, deepening the kiss, taking Sirius’ tongue in his and sucking on it.
"Sirius?" Remus panted breathlessly, licking his lower lip and leaning against his friend’s long, lean body.
"Remus?" Sirius whispered in answer, caressing his cheek gently with his thumb.
"Make love to me," Remus whispered. "Be my first. Please."
Somehow, Sirius wasn’t surprised. He leaned in close, so close that when he spoke their lips brushed together, and whispered, "Are you sure?"
Remus sighed and licked his lower lip, and Sirius closed his eyes as the warm tongue brushed against his own mouth. "All my life," Remus whispered, tilting his head up a little, "I’ve never been more sure."
And of course, there was nothing Sirius could do but kiss him. Hot and sweet, like the coffee Sirius’ mother drank, heavy with sugar and milk. Their tongues colliding, sliding around one another, as Sirius’ hands wandered over the other boy’s body. Remus wasn't sure how long he'd wanted this, but he knew when he'd become aware - the night he'd finally forgiven Sirius for the tree incident, the night they'd shared their first embrace for nearly six months. Remus had felt the warm body of his best friend pressed against his own and it had felt so right, so perfect, he never wanted to let go.
But he had. Had released Sirius with a small smile, in answer to Sirius' fervent thanks and constant reassurances that he wouldn't regret forgiving him. They'd gone down to dinner then, together, and about halfway through the meal Sirius had reached over and covered Remus' hand with his own. Remus had simply smiled as their fingers twined together. Touching Sirius just felt right. It felt like home.
And now. Now those hands were touching him in a way he'd never imagined, never allowed himself to dream possible. Sirius was laying down on his bed and pulling Remus in on top of him, stroking his back, and his backside, his touch so light it might almost be a dream. Was wrapping long, slender legs around Remus' waist and pulling him back in for another kiss, hot and sweet and seductive. Remus was surrounding him, surrounded by him, and it was perfect, just as he'd dreamed. Better. Better, because it wasn't a dream, it was real. Sirius wanted him.
Remus reached out, tugging sharply at Sirius' robes, and Sirius let him take them off, grinning up at him with not an iota of the shyness that plagued Remus. He had no reason to be shy, after all. No scars. He was glorious, absolutely breathtaking. Heavily muscled from long years of Quidditch. Lean and lithe like a jungle cat.
"Like what you see, lover?" Sirius murmured softly, a wicked, fallen-angel grin on his face.
Remus responded in the only way he knew how, reaching out to skim Sirius' chest with his hands. He was rather delighted to realize that Sirius must have very sensitive nipples; when he brushed over them Sirius gasped, then groaned, his cock, already hard, swelling even further against Remus' body.
"Oh yes," Remus whispered. "I do like what I see." He reached out again, brushing them harder, and then pinching them as Sirius had done to him.
Sirius made a noise that sounded remarkably like the one Padfoot made when getting his stomach scratched. "Remus," he whimpered. "God."
"Hmm?" Remus licked his lips and ghosted a soft kiss over Sirius' mouth. "Yeah, Siri?"
"Touch...touch me. Oh, please touch me," Sirius begged, grabbing Remus' hands by the wrists and directing them southward. Remus complied, hesitantly reaching down to take Sirius in his hands, uncertain. Sirius seemed to know what he was doing, though; the moment he felt Remus' hands on him he began to thrust clumsily, seeking friction. Remus sensed this and helped him along, curling his hand around the base of Sirius' cock. He curled a bit too far, and Sirius gasped as the tips of his nails drug lightly across the sensitive skin.
"Oh! Oh, Siri, I'm sorry," Remus gasped as he realized what he'd done. "I didn't mean to...did it hurt?"
"It's fine, Remus," Sirius panted. "Don't stop."
"But I scratched you!" Remus bent over Sirius' cock, studying the area for a moment, driving Sirius mad, though he didn't know it, by breathing on his heavy erection. "It's not bleeding. Good," he finally said, and leaned down close, brushing his lips apologetically across the soft skin. Sirius gasped, tilted his head back and cried out as he came.
Remus blinked, startled, then gasped as he suddenly found himself pinned under Sirius. "Siri...what...oh, god, Siri!"
Sirius said not a word. He couldn't. He was too busy sucking Remus' cock down his throat. Remus, who had never felt anything remotely like that in his life, couldn't speak properly, and proceeded to make a long stream of high pitched, incoherent sounds that only seemed to make Sirius more determined. Being young, and therefore lacking a great deal of control, Remus, like Sirius, didn't last very long, and soon Sirius was choking on his new lover's juices.
They lay there for a while, wrapped in each other's arms, both panting softly, recovering. As soon as he had the strength, Remus reached up and stroked Sirius' hair. "Siri?"
"Mm?"
"Is...was...do..." Remus growled softly and tried again. "Was that it for you? With me? Just one time? Or do you want to...to do it again? Because if you want to..do it again...I'd like to, too."
Sirius didn't say anything for a while, and Remus felt his heart relocate to his stomach. Damn. Damn, damn, damn. "Oh," he whispered. "I...I see..."
Sirius made a strange noise and looked up from where his head rested against Remus' chest. "Remus," he said softly, "it would break my heart if we didn't do this again. If I have anything to say about it, rather frequently. Preferably exclusively. Forever would be nice, too."
Remus gaped at him for a moment. "Really, Sirius?" he whispered eventually. "Do you mean that?"
Sirius nodded. "I do. I really do, Remus. I think I've fallen in love with you. I think I fell in love with you the moment we met and just now realized."
Remus continued to stare at him for a second, and then pulled him into another long, enthusiastic kiss, which led to, well, more kissing, and then...well...suffice it to say, it was a long time before they spoke again.
The day before holidays ended, James Potter returned to Hogwarts. He was tired, full from the overly large dinner he'd been forced to consume before the ride back to school, and he missed his friends sorely. Immediately upon returning he made a beeline for Gryffindor Tower, tiredly gave the guardian portrait the password, and went straight up to the dorms, intent on taking a nice nap before hunting down Remus and Sirius.
Much to his surprise, despite the fact that it was early afternoon and the full moon had been days ago, Remus' bedcurtains were closed. Sirius' were open, his bed neatly made, and that was an even greater surprise; Sirius was not known for being neat. Shrugging, he trotted over to Remus' bed, reached up and pulled the curtains open. Immediately after doing so, he wished he hadn't.
The silencing spell which Remus had set up out of an abundance of caution had prevented him from hearing the noises they must be making. But nothing could protect him from the sight of his two best friends in the world, naked, kissing, Sirius straddling Remus and apparently screwing him into the mattress while wanking him off with one hand.
The choked, gargling gasp which emerged from James' throat at this point went unnoticed by his friends, whether due to the silencing spell or because they were simply too preoccupied with other matters to notice they would never be sure. Whatever the cause, it was not until they had both found orgasm, and Sirius had collapsed in a boneless heap on Remus' chest, that Remus saw James, standing at the foot of his bed, staring with eyes the size of the Hogwarts dinner china. Remus' reaction, a startled curse followed by a mad scramble for clothes and the removal of the silencing spell, clued Sirius in to his friend's presence. He was much more blasé about the whole thing; James had seen him naked before, after all. "Hey, Jamie," he said with a wave. "How's they hanging?"
James, shocked into honesty, replied with, "From what I saw, low and a bit to the left."
Sirius broke into peals of laughter, Remus turned beet red and hid under the sheet, and James shook himself, made a face, and said, "For God's sake, Padfoot, put on some robes, would you?" before trudging back over to his bed.
Fully five minutes later, Remus and Sirius poked their heads into his curtains. "Jamie?" said Sirius. "That's really not how we planned to tell you."
"I should bloody well hope not!" James cried, aghast, looking up from his pillow to gape at them.
Remus flushed and started to turn away, and he said, "No, Moony, wait. Don't. It's all right. I mean, it's not all right that I saw that, because the thought of Sirius as a sexual creature scares me, but it's OK that you two, well, whatever you have, it's OK. As long as you're happy." He grinned slightly. "My only problem is not knowing which of you to give the 'If you hurt my friend I'll hex you into next month' speech to."
Remus and Sirius both flushed slightly, then grinned. "Thanks, James," Remus said softly.
"Yeah, thanks, Jamie."
"No problem. Just, do me a favor?"
"Anything, James."
"You name it."
"Next time, put a sign up?"
END

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