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| TALES FROM THE CRAPPER |
| What do you do if you�ve way overblown your filmmaking budget, and all that you have to show for it is an incomplete epic unwatchable sit-through of s**t? Well, if you�re director Terry Gilliam, you shelve the said incomplete epic unwatchable sit-through of s**t, cut your losses, and lament about your costly failure in an intriguing documentary entitled �Lost in La Mancha�. But hypothetically, what would you do if you were in the same position as figurehead of America�s oldest truly independent film studio? And to make matters worse, you didn�t just have one incomplete epic unwatchable piece of s**t, but two epic unwatchable pieces of s**t on your hands? Well, if you were Troma president Lloyd Kaufman, you'd begin with a Woody Allen sized anxiety attack, followed by some re-shoots, then begin the arduous task of editing the least s**tty plot elements together as one film. That one film is the incoherent shot on digital �Tales from the Crapper�. After an incompetent director left Kaufman high and dry with two sub-par incomplete features at a combined price-tag of over $250 000, the resourceful and notoriously cheap Troma team president was forced to find an Ed Woodian way to piece it all together. The results are� well, crummy; but nevertheless makes for compelling viewing. Especially for thrifty aspiring filmmakers. To try and describe the plot would be an act of futility. This one makes David Lynch movies look structured. But knowingly realizing that he has a plotless mess to work with, Lloyd compensates with copious violence and nudity. Even an innovative new technique called �Boner Vision� to spice up the slower scenes.There are strippers, lesbian vampires, head crushings, and all of the Tromatic goodies we all know and love. And if that isn�t enough to save this shot on digital dogpile 95 extravaganza, Kaufman rallies the troops in a number of entertaining cameos. Troma alumni Eli (�Cabin Fever�) Roth and James Gunn, porn star Ron Jeremy, fanboy icon Ted Raimi, Count Smokula, and Trey Parker all put in an appearance. And Lloyd himself turns in an appropriately crummy performance as The Crap Keeper. Troma wardrobe have clearly gone all out on his costume. This film has an unusually high rate of uninvited anal penetration. Witches hats, police issue pistols, and even a rubber chicken find their way into body cavities. Am I missing something here? Has Kaufman discovered an unusually large audience demographic that enjoys seeing women in positions of power shoving foreign objects up blokes� clackers? Who�s his target audience? Germaine Greer? But I digress� This Troma digital jigsaw puzzle has just been released locally here in Australia uncut by the good people at Stomp Visual. More intriguing than the actual film itself is the documentary �The Thick Brown Line�; also included on the Stomp region 4 release. Kind of a cut rate �Lost in La Mancha�, we get to see a defeated Lloyd Kaufman desperately trying to avert a $250 000 disaster. Make no mistake; �Crapper� is unquestionably crummy. At one point in the �Thick Brown Line� a bummed out Lloyd Kaufman even admits that �when you�re making something and you know it�s gonna be shit, it ain�t exactly Christmas�. And speaking of Christmas, this one�s an ideal stocking filler for anyone remotely interested in the heart and soul of truly independent cinema. �Tales from the Crapper� may be sub-standard in many ways, but it oozes the true spirit of exploitation and truly independent cinema. All in all, �Tales from the Crapper� is a pretty good example of how to make lemonade when all you�re left with is excrement. A good example of overcoming celluloid adversity.Maybe Francis Ford Coppolla should watch this and have another crack at editing �The Godfather � Part Three�. Who knows, maybe a few re-shoots depicting Corleoni�s getting corn-holed with foreign objects is what's missing. It�s a thought anyway... Entertainment : 3 out of 4 Watchability : 3 out of 4 Overall : 3 out of 4 Reviewed by Blake |