| CARNAL VIOLENCE(1973) Directed by Sergio Martino |
| When you think of giallo�s the stylish Italian thrillers of Dario Argento are usually the ones that spring to mind. But although well made, sometimes I�m just not in the right sophisticated mood for Argento� but I still feel like watching a half-baked whodunit with all the exploitation prerequisites. So I�m left with the dilemma of what to do? Murder She Wrote?... both Angela Landsbury and that irritating yet catchy theme song annoy the f**k out of me. A Touch of Frost? About the only decent thing Granville ever did was Open All Hours; and even then he was just playing second banana to Ronnie Barker. And then there�s The Father Dowling Mysteries. I liked Mr. C a lot better when he was a member of the possibly Aryan Nation affiliated Poobah�s Lodge, and trying to be there as a father for the Fonz to compensate for the fact that he never saw Richie or Joannie because they were always off being juvenile delinquents down at Arnold�s. But I�m digressing more than a politician who�s just been asked a simple yes or no question. What do all these whodunit series� and telemovies lack? That�s simple. Gratuitous violence and nudity, hookers, lesbo scenes, orgies, clich� genetically deficient townsfolk who wouldn�t be out of place in the Appalachians, implied incest (Uncle Nino you dirty bastard!) and sexual sadism. All the good stuff. Director Sergio Martino delivers all of the above and more in this giallo slash slasher (does that even make sense?) about a crazed killer terrorizing a university. The crazed killer isn�t Texas sniper Charles Whitman who was immortalized in the Kinky Friedman song �The Ballad of Charles Whitman�. He�s actually a sexual sadist with the odd bizarre fetish or two. To cut a long story short like the throat of a young co-ed, three nubile young ladies flee the university for a villa in the country where they can frolic together naked in the grounds for no reason while not actually being gay (till later at least); as you do� At first it almost seems like an I spit on Your Grave type situation may be brewing. Some of the caricatures (not a typo) in town leer and drool when the nubile trio arrive. One of them looks a lot like Ron Jeremy; and I was almost expecting him to show them his hedgehog party trick. But even killers need a break once in a while. Not from slaughtering nubile young co-eds like lambs of course�just a change of scenery. So unbeknownst to our three pieces of bow saw fodder�err I mean heroines, they�re about to receive an unexpected house guest who�s been sexually f**ked right up since an unfortunate incident involving a doll as a child. That�ll learn his parents for not taking the dolly�s off him and insisting that he play with Tonka trucks out in the sandbox in his best Sunday dress and bonnet. Despite the inherent stupidity of this film, it�s so schizophrenic that it often masquerades as being intelligent. It�s a little like the child who paints a beautiful praiseworthy finger painting only to derail any praise by eating the remaining finger paint and then shitting their pants. In all the primary colours of course� This one's out right now in Australia thanks to Stomp Entertainment in all its gory. You'll never look at scarves or China dolls in the same way again... Entertainment : 3 out of 4 Watchability : 2 out of 4 Overall : 2.5 out of 4 Reviewed by Blake |