Crap. Total Crap.



This movie sucks. Low budget. Bad acting. Shitty plot. So I figured, "Hey, why not make fun of it? I don't have a life."

Why This Movie Sucks �����You hear the plotline of this movie and think, "Oh, an apocalypse movie. I'll give it a shot". 5 minutes into the movie you're kicking yourself in the ass for even thinking that. You see that guy from Starship Troopers. Ya know, that guy who's only played one popular role in his acting career? After this movie you'll probably refer to him as "that guy who sleeps in the park inside a box and eats out of dumpsters". Anyway, this main character, played by Scottie Nonamer, claims he's found hidden stuff in the bible that will "fortell the future". In the movie he shows how the bible has the words "tunnel","Diana", the date the princess became a skidmark on the highway, and other pieces of crap are encrypted in the bible. You could probably find the words "lie" and "bullshit" in there, too. Anyway, the guy from Austin Powers (that little guy on the video screen) is evil. He wants to use the bible to predict some shit so he can make it come true. This storyline is presented with actors paid in monopoly money, crackers, and assorted prizes found in Happy Meals. The movie sets were stolen from old sitcoms. I wouldn't be shocked if the sequel was shot on the old set for Fresh Prince. The plot twists were depressingly predictable. Just expect every lame thing that could possibly happen to happen. Christian channels shouldn't be allowed to make movies. Seriously, there should be some sort of censoring system so movies like that can't even be written. The movie was sponsored by Nerf, hence the use of crappy fake guns. A couple of action scenes trigger a symphony of songs composed on a Casio keyboard. And when the ghetto batteries on the keyboard ran out I think some guy hummed some REALLY exciting songs. The movie has a tragically Disney-esque ending. The good guys, Scottie Nonamer and the bible, truimph over an angry old British guy and the world is saved. Stupid. Worthless. Total dog shit. Whoever made this movie should be crucified.
Hello? Is this the Academy Awards people? What? You say I'm a piece of shit? Hello? Is this the Academy Awards people? What? You say I'm a piece of no-talent shit?
How this movie got people to see it How this movie got people to see it
If you look close enough you can see the word 'NERF' printed on the gun If you look close enough you can see the word "NERF" printed on the gun
Scarface has a Nerf dart with your name on it Scarface has a Nerf dart with your name on it
'Shoot me and you won't get paid for doing this movie...You can get your quarter later' "Shoot me and you won't get paid for doing this movie...You can get your quarter later"
The movie's 'evil villian' engages in foreplay with the hero, his 'sex partner' That's ok, Jim, I don't have a penis, too
Bob meets an angry mob who PAID to see his movie and runs for dear life Bob meets an angry mob who was stupid enough to pay to see his movie and runs for dear life
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