�You Can�t Lose You�
I sit in my room, alone
The voices of ZAO whisper �Dark, Cold, Sound�
A rose incense stick is glowing bright red
Four candles provide light to this space - As empty as my heart feels
I know you won�t leave me
But do you wish you could?
I feel so alone, so cold
Am I destine to burn out alone, like the wick
which provides my light?
I drove to a bridge; looked over the ledge
I wish I could fly
I would jump and spread my wings
No one could touch me -- I would be free
I peered at the lines on the asphalt below
They seemed so perfect, so well designed
I wish I could become one of the lines
Become nameless and countless
Blended into a endless row of lines just like me
But I am unique
With my own thoughts, hopes, dreams, and fears
No one will ever understand me
My mind is my own
Oh, but My heart is not
I wanted to jump from that ledge
Let my body fall free for a moment
Feel the air surround my body as I journeyed to meet the cold pavement
I would hit the blackness of asphalt
Which would become the blackness of death
But I could not do it
I knew it was too late
For I was already dying
I was dying a slow death within
My heart was collapsing
It was becoming hollow
I feel as though you were the only thing making my heart solid
But these are just words
There is no way I can make you understand
You will never know the pain I feel
Because you can never lose someone as perfect asyou.
(This was written while under the influence of confusion, pain, distress, and a desire to understand why things turn out the way they sometimes do.)
12/02/2002