Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
A Gundam Wing Fanfic Written By quatre_sandrockcustom
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing (but I wish I did). Do not sue me. If you do, then you will get the pen I used to write this. Enjoy!
The G-Boys were just hanging out at Quatre's house. The war was long over, and everyone was at peace.
"You braided baka!"
Well, maybe not everyone!
"What's your problem Wu-Man?" Duo asked, trying as hard as he could to infuriate Wufei.
"It's Wufei! WUFEI!" At this, Wufei grabbed his katana and chased Duo,
threatening to chop off his braid.
"Guys, we mustn't fight." Said Quatre, aiming it at Wufei and Duo.
"Quatre, why do you have to be such a pacifist?" Heero asked.
"I just don't like fighting."
"Then why did you fight in Sandrock?"
"Well...Err...Um..." For the first time, Quatre was stuck for words. They all heard a smash, then Duo came into the room alone and out of breath, with his braid intact.
"What happened???" Heero and Quatre asked. Trowa was just silent as usual.
"I knocked Wufei out." Duo replied.
"What was that smash?" Heero asked.
"Oh, I hit Wufei over the head with a vase with flowers on. Hope it wasn't valuable." Quatre then ran out of the room shouting about his priceless Ming vase. "Lets have some tunes!" Duo said, turning on the radio.
"Hey, it's time for our cash for grabs competition!" a voice blurted over the radio "Today we're giving away $1,000,000! That's right! We're going to give our 10th caller 1 million smackers, if they answer just one question right!" Duo then immediately ran for the phone, knocking over and breaking a plate placed over the fireplace. Quatre, who had just walked into the room after caring for his vase and Wufei, ran towards the fireplace, shouting about his one of a kind plate.
"Duo, you do know the chances of you being caller number 10 are very slim!" Heero said.
"Congratulations! You are our 10th caller!" the voice on the radio said "What's your name?"
"Duo Maxwell!" The three pilots stared at Duo in disbelief.
"Well Duo, just answer this question right and $1,000,000 will be yours! The question is... what are the names of the 5 Gundams that were in the war?"
"That's easy! Wing Zero, Deathscythe Hell, Heavyarms, Sandrock and
Shenlong!" Duo was bound to win it.
"I'm sorry, that's wrong! The answer was Epyon, Deathscythe Hell,
Heavyarms, Sandrock and Shenlong! Too bad! Try again tomorrow!" Music then came over the radio. Trowa, Heero and Quatre stared at the upset Duo.
"He got it wrong! It was Wing Zero, not Epyon!" Duo said angrily "I should know! I'm one of the Gundam pilots!" Heero then got up and headed for the door.
"I'm off for a walk. See you later." Heero said mechanically. The pilots then heard a car start and drive off. Soon the music stopped on the radio and the DJ's voice came on again.
"This next song by TaTu was asked for by... Hey! What are you doing?"
"Give Duo the money."
"Hey guys, that sounds like Heero." Quatre said.
"He got the question wrong! I can't give him it!"
"Omae O Korosu."
"It is Heero!" Duo shouted.
"Look, get out now, or I'm calling securi... Hey! Watch where you're pointing that gun!"
"You made a mistake. It was Wing Zero, not Epyon." A scared gulp was heard.
"Look's like your right! I was wrong!" the DJ said quickly "It WAS Wing
Zero! Duo, if you're listening to this, then you've won $1,000,000! Tune in tomorrow to get the chance to win cash!" Music was then heard over the radio again. Soon after that, a car was heard pulling into Quatre's driveway.
"Now, pretend we know nothing, ok?" They all agreed. Heero then walked into the house.
"Hi Heero!" Quatre said "How was your walk?"
"Fine." Heero replied.
"Where did you go?" Trowa asked, much to the surprise of everyone.
"Round the block." Heero said "Did anything happen here?"
"Oh yeah... Duo won 1 million dollars! The DJ made a mistake!" Quatre said.
"Oh really." Heero said "What are you going to spend it on, Duo?"
"Why not go on a holiday? We've all been needing one for ages!" Duo said.
"Great idea!" Quatre said.
"But where?" Trowa asked.
"How about... Las Vegas?" Duo suggested.
"It's settled then! We're off to Las Vegas!" Quatre said. Wufei, just coming to, walked into the room.
"What's going on?" Wufei asked.
"I've just won 1 million dollars!" Duo said, happily.
"And we're going to Las Vegas" Heero said. Wufei then passed out.
When Wufei woke up, they were on a plane.
"So, you're finally awake then!" Quatre said, who was sitting next to him.
"Where are we?" Wufei asked.
"We're on a plane, headed for Las Vegas" Trowa said. Everyone was surprised at how much he had said so far. The flight went well. If you just ignored Heero, who kept bringing his gun out and scaring everyone on the plane because of it, Wufei, who kept trying to cut Duo's braid off and Duo who kept chatting up the air hostesses and was being sick on too much chocolate.
*****
*****
Duo: Hey, I was not chatting up the air hostesses and I only had 2 chocolate bars!
"Don't disagree with me or else..."
Duo: Or else what?
"Or else it's bye bye braid!"
Duo: EEK! (Runs off)
"He He He"
*****
*****
When the plane landed, everybody rushed off the plane to get away from the G-Boys. Even the plane pilots and air hostesses.
"Well, that went well." Heero stated.
"Here we are!" Duo said "Las Vegas!"
"No we're not." Wufei interrupted "We're 20 miles away from Las Vegas."
"How can you tell?" Duo asked. Wufei then pointed to a signpost, pointing away from the airport, saying Las Vegas-20 miles this way.
"Give it up for smart arse here!" Duo said.
"I'm going to get you, you braided baka!" Wufei shouted and began to chase after Duo.
"..." Trowa said.
"Looks like we're going to need a car." Quatre sighed
2 hours later, Duo was still searching for a car.
"Ok...let's try this again. What's the cheapest but coolest car you've got?" Duo asked for the one millionth time.
"Sorry, can't help you there. But I can give you this beauty!" The car
salesman said, motioning to a car. It was old, the wheels were falling off and it looked like the car from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Duo sighed.
This was going nowhere.
"Never mind" He went back to the rest of the gang to tell them the news. "Couldn't get one." He said the minute he got back to the rest of the G-Boys.
"What do you mean you couldn't get one? You're a millionaire and there are hundreds of cars there!" Wufei shouted.
"How much do you want to pay?" Heero asked.
"About $10,000." Duo replied
"Give it to me." Duo gave Heero the money. Heero then walked towards the car salesman. When he got there the car salesman greeted him kindly.
"Hi! What can I do for you?" He asked. Heero then put his gun to the car salesman's head.
"What can I get for $10,000 that can hold at least 5 people?" 3 minutes
later, Heero came back.
"Duo, I've got you a car." He said.
"Great! What type is it?" Duo asked.
They soon arrived at Las Vegas, in a limo!
"Heero, how did you get a limo for $10.000?" Quatre asked.
"I just haggled with the car salesman." Heero replied. Everyone knew this wasn't the real reason how, but they didn't want to ask. When they all got out of the limo, the question on all of their minds was where to go.
"Lets go to one of the casinos!" Duo said.
"Duo, you are not wasting that money at the casino. We're going to a bar." Heero argued.
"I don't like drinking. Let’s go to one of the shows here." Quatre suggested.
"Shows are for the weak. I hate to do this, but I'm agreeing with Duo." Wufei said.
"..." Trowa said. Now this discussion went on for half a minute. Partly because death threats were flying everywhere and partly because Hilde,
Sally, Relena and Catherine came round the corner, and after seeing the
G-Boys and running over to them, they had to stop their argument pretty quickly.
"Heero! What a surprise to see you here!" Relena said, putting on her sweetest face.
"Same here." Heero said, not thrilled to see Relena at all.
"What are you guys doing here?" Hilde asked. Quatre went to say on holiday when Duo butted in.
"I've just won $1,000,000!" He said, tauntingly. All four girls burst out laughing.
"You expect us to believe that you won $1,000,000?" Sally managed to say, still recovering from the laughing fit.
"No really! He has!" Quatre said.
"Pull the other one!" Hilde said, who had just recovered from the fit of laughter.
"We're telling the truth. He has." Trowa said.
"Are you serious?" Relena asked.
"Yes." Trowa replied. Catherine, just realizing Trowa spoke, almost had a heart attack.
"Trowa! You just said something" She said, surprised "Say something else!"
"..."
"Darn!"
"Hey! Where's Dorothy?"
*****
*****
Duo: That's a point. Where is Dorothy?
Heero: And why did you have to bring them into this fanfic?
"Duo, I'm getting to that, and Heero, it just wouldn't be a fanfic without them."
Heero: But why Relena?
"Heero, we all know you love her really!"
Relena: Heero! I love you!
Heero: *Cocks gun*
Relena: *Backs off*
Wufei: They're all weaklings anyway!
Relena: Hey! Shut up Wufei!
Wufei: It's true! All women are weaklings!
Hilde: Come on then Wufei!
Sally: Yeah! Bring it!
"Um, *Sweatdrops* can we get on now?"
Everyone: NO!
"Look! This is my fanfic, and I say what happens, and I happen to say we're continuing, so we're continuing!!!!!"
*****
*****
"Dorothy's at the casino waiting for us." Hilde replied.
"What a coincidence! We were just on our way there!" Said Duo, trying to put on a surprised tone.
"No we wer...OUCH!" Quatre began to disagree, but was kicked sharply but quietly in the shin by Duo.
"What's wrong with Quatre?" Relena asked.
"Oh, he still can't get over the death of his father. He goes a bit crazy sometimes, but he's taking medication for it." Duo tried to pull an honest face.
"Oh. Ok then." Catherine said "Let’s go." After Heero, Trowa, Wufei and the girls left, Quatre started shouting at Duo.
"What did you kick me for? And why did you say that I sometimes go crazy?"
“Well, what was I supposed to say? That I kicked you?"
"Yeah! Would have helped!" Duo started chuckling.
"Sometimes I don't understand you Quatre."
"Same here Duo." They then hurried to catch up with the others.
When they got to the casino, they couldn't see Dorothy anywhere.
"I thought you said she was here." Heero said.
"She is. Let’s look for her." Relena said "Sally, you go with Wufei..."
"Weakling" Wufei said.
"Baka" Sally said.
"Catherine, you go with Trowa..."
"Let’s go Trowa!" Catherine said.
"..." Trowa said
"Duo, you go with Hilde..."
"Ok." Duo said.
"Fine by me" Hilde said.
"I'll go with Heero..."
“Joy unsurpassed." Heero said, totally uncaring.
"And Quatre, you go by yourself. Ok, let’s go!" They all left except for Quatre.
"Why am I always on my own?" He said to himself. He then walked off.
*****
*****
"Ok, now I'm going to be saying what everyone's doing and..."
Wufei: Why did I have to get paired with a weakling?
Sally: Better watch your words Wufei!
Heero: And why did I get paired with Relena?
Relena: Because you love me!
Heero: Don't make me shoot you.
Relena: *Shuts up*
"Look, it's your non yaoi/yuri parings! Heero x Relena, Duo x Hilde,
Trowa x Catherine (I think), Wufei x Sally and..."
Quatre: Why am I on my own?
"Quatre, your non yaoi paring is Dorothy (I think(again))! You're all looking for her, so that’s why you're on your own!"
Quatre: But what if I don't find her? I'll be alone!
*Arrrggg* "I give up on you lot!"
*****
*****
"Heero, are you alright?"
"Hmm." Relena was getting desperate. She had to get Heero into bed and she needed to now. Suddenly, she saw someone walking past *This is my chance* she thought. She went up to him and began her plan
"If you pretend you've captured me and take me to a bedroom so he can follow and try to rescue me..." she said, pointing to Heero "I'll give you $100."
"Ok! Thanks!" He said. He then picked her up and carried her over his shoulder. Heero kept walking on, thinking that Relena was just behind him.
"HEERO! HELPME!" Heero quickly turned around and saw Relena being carried away.
"Damn!" Heero ran after the guy. The man lead Heero to a bedroom, but when he got there, the man was nowhere to be found, but a body led motionless under the bed covers.
"Relena?" Heero crept towards the bed in case the man was in the bed.
When he got to the bed, he sharply pulled back the covers. There were just pillows under there. Relena, who was hiding behind the bedroom door, made her move.
"I raise you $30"
"I raise you $40"
"4 aces! Beat that!"
"Straight Flush!"
"Damn!" Duo had lost his fifth game of poker. He was no good at it and it was beginning to show.
"Want another game?"
"No thanks."
"Chicken!"
"Fine then!" The only problem was that the dealer was Hilde.
"Weakling."
"Baka."
"Weakling."
"Baka."
"Damned onna."
"Baka" Welcome to the world of Wufei and Sally everyone!
"..."
"Come on Trowa! Say something!"
"...""
Please?"
"..."
"I'll give you $10 if you speak!"
"..."
"Hey look! Someone's stolen Heavyarms!"
"..."
"You’re no fun when you're silent."
"..."
Quatre was wandering around aimlessly, when suddenly, he found Dorothy totally plastered at the bar.
"Dorothy! Are you all right?"
"Oh, hi Heero!" Maybe plastered was an understatement.
"No, it's me! Quatre!"
"Of course it's you Duo!"
"Dorothy, are you drunk?"
"No I'm sotaly tober!"
"I've been telling her that all night!" The bartender butted in "She just disagrees." Quatre sighs. He didn't like drinking, but he had to look after
Dorothy.
"Might as well join her."
"Hey, Wufei! Good thing that Quatre isn't here. *hiccups* He doesn't drink!"
Quatre thought about a reply for a while.
"Well when we see him, we'll tell him there's a first time for everything.
Bartender, a vodka with cola please."
*****
*****
Wufei: Quatre's drinking?
"Hey! It's like he said! There's a first time for everything!"
Wufei: Yes...but, Quatre...
*Sigh* "Whatever."
*****
*****
"Yes! I've won $10!"
"Not bad for a weakling."
"Ok then Wufei! Come here and show me how it's done!"
"Fine then!"
Bar...
Bar...
Cherry.
"Ha! You lost!"
"This one armed bandit is cheating!"
"You out Duo?"
"Not by a long shot!"
"Just give up!"
"I'll only give up when I win my money back off you!"
"Fine then! I raise you $10."
Um...Lets just skip past Heero and Relena. Any of you hentai's out there got a problem with it, just imagine what they're doing. This fanfic isn't Lemon you know!
"You enjoying yourself Trowa?"
"..." Catherine had been trying for the past 30 minutes to get Trowa to speak. She had no luck so far.
"Are you going to speak at all?"
"..."
"I guess that answers my question!"
Quatre on the other hand was tipsy, and wanted more.
"Trowa, where's Quatre?"
"Don't know" He was just playing along with Dorothy. "Bartender, give me the fifth strongest drink you've got!" The bartender looked at them both.
Looks like it was going to be a long night.
"Why do I keep losing?"
"Because the machine doesn't like you!"
"Shut up weakling!"
"This is the last game. Ready Duo?"
"I'm ready." Hilde dealt the cards. Duo looked at his hand. He then silently laughed at his hand. Hilde was going to have a hard time beating this hand.
"I beat all of the rest of my money."
"I bet all of my money too."
"Ha! Foolish mistake! Straight Flush!"
If you're expecting the Heero and Relena thing, then you're wrong! Look at the category! It's humor! Not Lemon! Go somewhere else for Lemon!
If you must know, it got very hot in the bedroom Relena and Heero were in. But that's all I'm saying. Ok? Good!
"..."
*sigh* "Boring!" Catherine had given up on making Trowa talk. "I know!
The first one to talk, looses! Ready...GO!"
Silence...
3 minutes later...
"..."
"..."
"That's it! I can't take it anymore!"
"Ha! Finally got you to speak, Trowa!"
Quatre was not doing well. He was 200% drunk and still wanted more!
"Dorothy? Why is the floor moving?"
"I don't know!"
"Bartender, your strongest drink please!"
"Sorry, you're drunk."
"No I'm not! I'm sotaly tober!"
After this, everyone went to the nearest hotel to sleep. All except for Relena and Heero, who were already sleeping.
And no, I'm still not saying what they did! Wight your own fanfic where Relena and Heero Fu...well you get the idea!
Next day, they all woke up to find the girls were gone. Quatre paged Heero saying where they were. Soon, the G-Boys met up in the hotel lobby.
"Hey! What happened last night?" Duo was the first to ask.
"I'm not sure." Heero said, trying to forget what happened last night between him and Relena.
"Where's Wufei?" Trowa asked. Wufei then ran inside.
"We've got trouble! I've just been outside and the girls have taken our limo!" Wufei shouted.
"Don't worry! We can get another one with Duo's money."
"Ah...well...you see...there's a problem with that." Duo said, sheepishly.
"What are you talking about Duo?" Quatre asked quietly. He had a hangover, but got too drunk last night to remember anything. Including being drunk!
"Well...I kinda lost the money."
"WHAT?" They all shouted "HOW DID YOU LOOSE ALL THAT MONEY?"
"Well, I was playing poker with Hilde, and I kept loosing. On the last game,
I got a Straight Flush so I bet the rest of my money and so did she."
"So? How did you lose it?"
"She had a Royal Flush."
"You braided baka!"
"What's the matter, Wu-Man?"
"It's Wufei! WUFEI!" He then grabbed his katana and began to chase Duo,
threatening to chop off his braid.
"Here we go again." Quatre sighed.
--'-,-@
"Well that's my fanfic! Send any comments and flames to
[email protected]"
Duo: That fanfic sucked!
Quatre: I agree. I got drunk in it.
Trowa: ...
Heero: Next time, leave Relena out of it.
Wufei: In fact, leave all of those weaklings out of it!
"THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU GUYS!" *Begins to walk off*
Duo: Hey! Where are you going?
"HOME! I NEVER WANT TO WORK WITH YOU LOT EVER AGAIN!"
Duo: But you're supposed to give us a lift! How do we get home?
"MAKE YOUR OWN WAY BACK!" *Gets in car and drives off*
Duo: COME BACK!
Quatre: He's not coming back.
Duo: DAMN!