Part 3: Convincing and Getting Help

 

The field detectives sat in the bar looking at each other uncomfortably.

 

“Well Baldy, got any ideas for this crackheaded…idea?” Cid grumbled, leaning back on a chair with his feet propped up on a table.

 

“…”

 

Barret groaned and went to the bathroom. “Holy shhh---it staaannnnkks in der!! Smells like that spiky arse!!” they heard him yell.

 

Red shook his head, “This won’t be easy..”

 

****

 

The band members laid in the grass all in deep thought.

 

“Who’s gonna play what?” Cloud asked flatly from boredom. Tifa sat up dusting off her flat tummy. “Well…there’s 6 of us…just like Linkin Park..I don’t know how bands pick the right people to play the right things…we need..professional help..”

 

“Not only do we need to learn how to play instruments, we need a name, and write songs,” Yuffie chipped in.

 

“And we need a trend!” Reno added on.

 

“Any ideas Vincent?” Cloud called to him. He didn’t say anything.

 

“Well…to save time, we can play other artists’ songs. All the other kids sing songs that aren’t theirs’ anyway,” Elena said. Cloud stood up. “I know someone who can help us..” he helped Tifa up and Tifa helped Yuffie up, who reluctantly hoisted Elena up, and Elena yoinked Reno up. Vincent was leaning against a tree just listening to them. “Heal the world…make it a better place,” Cloud began but Tifa flicked his ear. “Just take us already.” They all followed him.

 

****

 

The field detectives/backup people stared at each other.

 

****

 

Cloud knocked on a wooden door and heard some clattering.

 

“Hold on hold on…” a muffled voice said on the other side. He opened the door smiling about to say something but closed the door immediately when seeing the group.

“That’s kinda rude…who was that Cloud?” Tifa asked with a  face.

 

“Err…my friend from waaaaaaaaay back then..Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails,” he replied slowly. Vincent raised his brows. Yuffie gawked and Tifa looked confused.

“THE Trent Reznor? He’s still alive?” she asked. Cloud shrugged and knocked again. He slowly cracked the door open.

 

“…what?” he asked lowly. Cloud grinned widely and pushed the door open and Trent staggered back. “Treeenntt what’s goin’ on man??” Trent slouched and they all poured in. “What brings you here?” he asked lowly again. “This is your house, you don’t have to be so low,” Cloud said suspiciously.

 

“Well I just woke up. Long time no see though. By the way, you’re all invited to come in,” Trent mumbled. The group grinned sheepishly. They looked around and an uncomfortable silence passed.

 

“Ahem..well..we need your help Trent,” Cloud began. Trent shrugged and motioned them to sit on some very artistic chair. Yuffie sat on a plushy black recliner and on the table to her left was a jar of water that contained…”GROSSNESS!! Are those human ears?!?” she screamed out. Trent looked over at her and smirked. “Fancy, isn’t it?” everyone shuddered and Cloud began to tell ole Trent the things that needed to be….said. When he finished, Trent was deep in thought and rubbed his shaved chin.

 

“You don’t really have to help us, it’s just a tho—“ Tifa started but Trent stood up.

 

“No, no, not a problem. Follow me.” They all followed him down into a room that was dark and freaky. Reno reached his hand out to hold onto someone and grabbed Tifa’s ‘up-stairs’ on accident. Next thing he knew was hearing a thud and tripping over what felt like a body. “You pervert!!” he heard her yell and Cloud crying, “Tifa it wasn’t me! I swear!!” Reno snickered to himself and Trent finally opened a door that was spookily green and bubbly (tee hee bubbly!!).

 

“Each one of you stand next to each other,” Trent commanded. They listened and he studied them carefully. The first person was Elena. She stared straight ahead while he examined her from top to bottom. “….come on!!! What is it?!” she impatiently squealed.

“Calm down, just trying to figure out what you’d be good at playing, woman. Lemme see your hands.” Elena reluctantly stuck out her hands and wiggled it on cue.

“Count with your fingers starting from your thumb to your pinky.” She did it without lifting up the pinky before the ring finger.

“Dexterity of being a guitarist,” Trent said automatically, making Elena look proud. He then moved on to Reno who was slouching with his hands in his pockets. Trent wrinkled his brows and without instructing anything, said “Bass player.” Reno shrugged. He then moved onto Yuffie. She shifted each foot all bored. “Hold your arms out and flap them.” She looked at him bizarrely and he tapped his foot. She did so and he snickered. “What?” she snapped. “Nothing. You can play the guitar kiddo.” She growled and he went to Tifa. Her hands were behind her back and she stood like…a normal person. Duh! Trent was looking at her chest deep in thought. “Excuse me??” her voice penetrated into his thought. “Oh, sorry..um…what can you play..i dunno. Play the bass.” Reno giggled, “We’re bass buddies!! Isn’t that the shizz Tif?!” she rolled her eyes. Cloud suggested to play the drums since his arms already get a work out from his crazy Buster Sword. Trent looked at Vincent and they looked at each other for a moment. “How about cutting your hair?” he suggested. Vincent looked startled. “Cut my hair? Of all the things to tell me…cut my hair?” he seisdnhsi (could’t find the right word for his reply word)

 

“It can’t be that bad, plus, you’re gonna be the dj,” Tifa stepped in. He glared at her and she looked away stepping back.

 

“Let’s just discuss that later. We need to learn how to play. Just like..5 songs would be alright, back up and stuff you know? We need to be perfect in…a week,” Cloud pointed out. Trent looked at him as if he was crazy. “You make this sound as if this was as easy as putting a condom on a—“ the guys coughed and Trent stopped himself. “Maan…this is gonna take a while! Can’t we just get a recording of each instrument and pretend we’re playing?” Reno whined. “Or isn’t there a material that magically makes you know how to play instruments??” Yuffie also also whined. “Hey…actually…I think I have some,” Trent faded off. “Really?!?” they all thundered at him. “Sure. Let me stick my hand up my ass and pull some out. Are you guys thaaaaaaaaaat desperate?!” he asked.

 

“Fine. It’s ok that you don’t wanna help us, it’s great enough to tell us what we should play. Good-day!” Tifa dismissed. They all followed her out and Elena stuck her tongue out at Trent. “Sooorraaaaay! But if you would just let me finish something, you’d be playing whatever in no time,” he called after them.  They screeched to a halt and turned around to him. He threw 6 materia at them. “Make sure you don’t sniff it,” he winked. “Like whoa!!!” Yuffie exclaimed. They thanked him and headed home to test out their music material…even though they didn’t think about getting some instruments!

 

(author’s note: hahaha dude, crappy chapter. I don’t have a creative mind!! But eehhh just wasting time. I’ll read more stories to get some ideas and stuff. Next chapter will be about the past of Mr. Rodgers, may he rest in peace. Haha jk, well, not about resting in peace because he should. It’ll be about um…stealing some instruments, testing out the material, and vincent’s change of style!! High demands from Tifa! Mwahaha!! So if you wanna beeatch at me for being such a cruddy writer, wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrite to me! Just click on my name and stuff in the ff7 fan fic page and stuff and like yeah. I’d make me peppy! ^_^ just put somping that’s related to ff7 in yer subject so I won’t mistake it with junk porn mail and stuff. Those are horrid! So til we meet again, Denzel Washington..oh and baaaaaad typos! Solly!)