Ext. WS Day.
Normal sidewalk setting, there is a man walking casually along (Joe), he pauses for a moment, believing he heard a scream. He turns to continue walking, when all of a sudden, something splats on the ground beside him.
Cutaway to ECU of squid lying on the ground.
CU Joe’s face, puzzled by the random squid
MS. Joe looks around, trying to figure out where the squid came from. He looks up, and down the streets, towards the sky, etc. Deciding not to dwell, he turns to continue his walk.
Hey.
Joe quickly turns around, but sees no one.
Who said that?
There is no response.
Hello?
He starts to leave
Wait, don’t leave.
Joe panics, he looks behind him, trying to figure out where the voice is coming from. He looks again at the squid.
Joe (to Squid, jokingly)
Was that you?
Who did you think it was?
CU Joe’s face, baffled
Joe reaches for a nearby stick to poke the squid with, possibly looking for a speaker
Joe, poking squid with stick
How are you doing th-
Squid, Interrupting
OWWWW!!! THAT HURTS MORON!!!
You can talk?
No shit. Listen, let’s cut the whole cutesy Disney bullshit and let me get to the point.
What do you want?
I’m glad you asked- Listen, I fell out of a live bait bucket, I’ve been taken from the ocean, and forced to live in this miserable pisshole of a town- no offense
None taken.
Anyway, what I’m getting at is that I just want to die, the heats unbearable, and don’t get me started on the water.
Shouldn’t you be dead already?
If only it were that easy, kid. I’ve been trying to figure this out for the longest time. I threw myself into traffic-
CA to Squid splattering on windshield off moving vehicle
Squid (continuing)
- I’ve tried shooting myself-
CA to Squid with gun to himself, the gun clicks, obviously empty
FUCK! NO AMMO!
Squid (continuing)
And just recently, I’ve thrown myself off this building
How did you-
Listen, the quicker we can get through this, with the fewest questions, the better, ok?
Uhh, ok.
Great. Now, can you lend a squid a tentacle? I need to find someway to do myself in.
What can I do? You said yourself that nothing seems to work.
Well, there’s only one way I know of left…
MS Joe, inquisitive
ECU, The squid has leapt to Joe’s face, tentacles wrapped around his head
EAT ME!!! YOU HAVE TO EAT ME!!!
Joe (muffled)
DISGUSTING!!! NO!!!
C’MON!!! I TASTE GOOD IN SUSHI!!!
HELL NO!!! GET OFF OF ME!!!
Joe rips the squid off of his face, and throws the squid to the ground, as he takes off running down the street
WS, Same sidewalk squid still lying there. After a few beats, another person walks by the squid on the street, looking at it in disgust… he passes, dismissing it from his mind.
Hey! You! C’mere
The End