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The Testosterone Files: My Hormonal and Social Transformation from Female to Male (Paperback)
by Max Wolf Valerio (Author) "I watch myself in the mirror, shirt off, pants slung down past my hip bones..." (more)
Key Phrases: posture belt, many transmen, nontranssexual men, San Francisco, New York, Market Street (more...)
  4.6 out of 5 stars 8 customer reviews (8 customer reviews)  

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Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
The best thing about this aggressive, emotional memoir by a former lesbian, female-to-male transgender is that its author never elicits easy sentiment or empathy from the reader. This is, by intent and in delivery, a tough book. Born in 1957 in Germany, a part–Native American Army brat, Anita Valerio grew up to be a lesbian-feminist who, after seeing the boxing film Raging Bull at age 23, began to understand that she was really a man. Eleven years later, Valerio is injecting testosterone and well on his journey to manhood. Valerio writes directly and forcefully about his "primal" new male sexual desires, which feel like "an outburst of instinct," as opposed to life on estrogen, which felt like being submerged "in a sweet, dense fog." Valerio's maleness is often expressed in blunt, even offensive language, as at the end of the book, when he realizes, with irony but not sadness, that he has made a further advance into maleness when it becomes more difficult to communicate with women. Valerio's broad, dichotomized stands on politics and gender often feel like just another tough pose. Worse, they flatten out the memoir's emotional landscape. (June)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist
Determined to convey the experience of "one of the most extravagant experiments of the twentieth century," Native American Latino Sephardic poet and performer Valerio details the physiological, psychological, and social transformations of female-to-male sex change in three "files." The first describes Valerio at the start of the transition. "Before Testosterone" looks back at the internal--external factors leading to then leather-and-spikes lesbian Valerio's decision for the life-altering change. "After Testosterone" assays the "construction" of maleness. Valerio's on-target perceptions reveal such all-important details as increased hair growth on legs and feet, enlargement of the pores, and increased energy. Valerio started testosterone injections on March 20, 1989, and learned to give himself the shots of thick, oily liquid while watching his femaleness recede with attendant joy and nostalgia. Eventually, he built his masculinity physically--the clitoris, a "neocock," enlarged sufficiently to achieve penetration with female partners--and, most important, psychically. A signal addition to gender and sociology collections. Whitney Scott
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details
  • Paperback: 280 pages
  • Publisher: Seal Press (April 13, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1580051731
  • ISBN-13: 978-1580051736
  • Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 4.9 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars 8 customer reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #30,628 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

    #4 in  Books > Gay & Lesbian > Biographies & Memoirs > Transgender
    #5 in  Books > Gay & Lesbian > Nonfiction > Transgender
    #38 in  Books > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > By Topic > Gender

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Max Wolf Valerio's latest blog posts
       
 
Max Wolf Valerio sent the following post to customers who purchased The Testosterone Files: My Hormonal and Social Transformation from Female to Male
 
10:00 AM PDT, September 28, 2006, updated at 12:44 PM PST, November 28, 2006
Hello out there!

Just a note to say "hi" to all who come by to view these pages.  I hope you enjoy my memoir.  From time to time, I will post and try to answer any questions you might have, in a timely fashion.  I do appreciate the interest of each and every single one of you.   Thank you!

Max Wolf Valerio
3 Comments    

 

Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
I watch myself in the mirror, shirt off, pants slung down past my hip bones. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
posture belt, many transmen, nontranssexual men, top surgery, transsexual man, transsexual women, taking testosterone
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
San Francisco, New York, Market Street, Mission Street, American Indian, The Incredible Hulk, Folsom Street, Get More Cigarettes, Lou Sullivan, Susie Bright, The Sand Lot, Black Flag, Dead Kennedys, Grandpa Chris, Hotel Hell, Mission District, Oklahoma City, Patrick's Day, Ted Bundy, Valencia Street, William Burroughs
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Customer Reviews
8 Reviews
5 star: 62%  (5)
4 star: 37%  (3)
3 star:    (0)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:    (0)
 
 
 
 
 
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Challenges my understanding of myself, October 11, 2006
By J. V. Sapinoso (Arlington, VA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
Before I even opened the book to start reading it, I was already coming to it filled with particular expectations. I actually think that we often/always approach books, among other things, in this manner. In this case, though, I was fortunate enough to be aware of what those expectations were from the beginning. In particular, given Valerio's past associations with This Bridge Called My Back and This Bridge We Call Home, I was looking forward to race and feminism being figured in more centrally in The Testosterone Files than other FTM texts (memoir and otherwise).

While by no means have I exhausted the entire genre, I'd have to say that in my readings thus far, I've been hard-pressed to find a FTM text that leaves me feeling satisfied with its treatment of race. So, admittedly, The Testosterone Files had a lot to live up to...perhaps too much.

Frankly, I'm torn...I'm definitely glad to have read the book, as well as to own it. I will proudly display it on my bookshelf (where self space is at a high premium). As a trans text, I think that its focus on testosterone (as opposed to surgery) helps to stretch the boundaries of the genre, and of how we think about trans itself. Like other FTM texts, there is much focus on the body and its physical transformations, but because the emphasis isn't on surgery it offers something to those readers who either want to transition without surgery, or simply have to transition and live without surgery due to other constraints (e.g., affordability, or lack thereof).

Even though Valerio makes clear in the text that he experienced discomfort with his breasts, and that it was because of the lack of being able to afford top surgery that he hadn't had surgery (well, until he wrote this book!), the need for surgery becomes an undertone in the text--ever present but not overwhelmingly so. Instead, what dominates is talk about testosterone.

"The hormones really work."

It's a realization that Valerio seems taken aback by. He writes, "The hormones...I'd read about testosterone and its dramatic effects in his [Lou Sullivan's] booklet, but I had never in my wildest dreams imagined that it could be this good. This transformation is a miracle" (103).

Like other similar texts, Valerio describes the changes his physical body undergoes as he begins to inject testosterone--the disappearance of his extra fat, the coarsening texture of his hair, the changes in his skin. Interestingly, Valerio also describes the changes his bodily emotions undergo with the effects of testosterone. I say bodily emotions here because Valerio makes clear that it's not just about emotions disconnected from his body, but precisely the way in which his body, because of its changing chemistry, processes emotions differently than it once did, ultimately resulting in different physical manifestations of those emotions.

Specifically, he finds that testosterone has limited his ability to physically cry as he once did, and instead has increased his aggressiveness. When I first encountered these testimonials of his about how women are biologically predisposed to cry and men to fight, something in me tightened. My initial reaction was to get defensive and to wonder how a text that I thought would be so feminist could so blatantly reinforce traditional gender stereotypes. Then I remembered that there are grains of truth in most stereotypes, and that what was important was to not overcompensate by trying to make the argument that not all women cry at the drop of a hat, or that men can cry, but rather to respect and honor Valerio's experiences. In this way, The Testosterone Files, has been invaluable to me in challenging my understanding of myself as a feminist, gently helping me to grow further into the kind of feminism that inspired me from the beginning--one that not only prized difference, but saw our power coming from those very differences (thanks Audre Lorde!).

As I said earlier, however, despite the ways in which The Testosterone Files added to my knowledge and understanding of another man's transformation, I was disappointed that race wasn't a more central issue throughout the text. There are moments when Valerio writes about his Native heritage, about his mother and being on the reserve, about passing as white at some times, and Latino at others, but these are but moments, and conversations about race don't seem to be sustained throughout.

In the end, I feel like the book Valerio wanted to write about was about testosterone above all else. In that respects, he succeeded. The book I wanted Valerio to have written was about negotiating racial and feminist consciousness and politics in a context of FTM transition. I recognize that my disappointments in The Testosterone Files are not Valerio's failings, but rather signs of my own longings.
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6 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Not Just For Gender Theorists, June 19, 2006
By Purple Primate (Connecticut, United States) - See all my reviews
Calling The Testosterone Files "insightful" seems like an act of superlative understatement. This memoir is amazing. Not only has Valerio lived as different genders, not only is he a thoughtful and observant chronicler, but he has the writing chops to make this memoir a pleasure to read.

I hope readers of this book are not limited to the transgendered community -- Valerio's observations should interest anyone of any gender, sex, and orientation. As an aspiring female writer, I found The Testosterone Files a help in creating more believable male characters. I imagine this memoir could help members of heterosexual couples to better understand each other.

The Testosterone Files does what all great memoirs do -- introduces us to another human life with unflinching honesty and self-examination.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars herkullinen!, September 16, 2007
By Kim Makoi (San Francisco, CA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
Like a fool, I avoided this book for too long thanks to some bad reviews by some angry feminists! Fortunately, I was able to catch a live reading by the author and my interest was again piqued. The book is less than a day old now and I haven't been able to put it down. Max has a delicious command of the language and this book is a fantastic adventure to experience and read. (I may be biased, as a 30-something FTM currently going through hormonal transition as well.) He is completely honest and his descriptions of the various phases of transition are spot on. Yes, it's a great piece of "trans literature," but more importantly an awesome piece of human history.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars interesting reflections on hormones
Overall, I thought is book was good, but not great. I like more nitty gritty gender theory, and I would've liked more of that sort of introspection. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Hope Henderson

4.0 out of 5 stars one man's beautifully written story
Valerio's experiences are different from mine, and he understands some of those experiences that we have in common differently than I do. Read more
Published 22 months ago by C. Jacob Hale

5.0 out of 5 stars Sharp Transgressions
As a child I was told that God never makes mistakes. Tampering with His work is a terrible sin. Max Wolf Valerio is a terrible, talented sinner. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Big Bridge

5.0 out of 5 stars Reading this book was a little like eating candy
Reading this book was a little like eating candy, in that I wanted to gobble it up all at once and at the same time, read it slowly, savoring every word. Read more
Published 22 months ago by D. Hunter

5.0 out of 5 stars Different...
Unlike most authors of transsexual books out there, Max can actually write, and the book is worth reading even if you have no interest in transsexuality. Read more
Published 23 months ago by Pen Name

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