Copyright 1998
With my high beams slicing steadily through the midnight
darkness, my three cylinder car rambled along the 12 km.
dirt road leading into the reservation, my thoughts
traveling much faster then my tiny vehicle ever could. My
four, young passengers were hiding from me, wrapped securely
in a shroud of darkness the interior of the car provided.
Northern sentential's of tall, spindly, pine trees stood
guard over us, shielding the dirt road from the moonbeams
that foolishly attempted to filter through barriers of dense
blackness. The trees won the battle of darkness simply by
their infinite numbers, but they also conveyed a sense of
safety that I felt relieved to bask in after several
stressful episodes that day. I wondered what would happen
next? If there was anyway to turn the negativity of the
evenings chaos into a learning experience for these young
people with me?
Each one of us in the car that night had very different
agendas. Susan, a fourteen year old native girl, had spent
the evening avoiding a responsibly she had committed herself
to earlier that day. I had hunted all over town to locate
her after she made an excuse to abandon four small children
she had agreed to baby sit, leaving me holding the bag. The
children's mother was apparently out on a drunk, something
that could easily last for days. It never failed to amaze me
how Susan managed to get herself into situations she either
couldn't handle, or had no intentions of completing. I ended
up leaving those little children with a reluctant aunt of
theirs so I could locate the two missing teens whom I was
temporarily responsible for. Susan had been confined to the
reservation for legal reasons. We were due back in court in
only nine hours, yet here she was, running amuck, looking
for trouble.
Arthur, her thirteen year old brother, now quietly sitting
in the back seat, was relieved that the R.C.M.P had not filed
charges against him for an assault incident he found himself
entangled in that day. The night's earlier events were
really soap operas unto themselves. We had just picked
Arthur up from the police station where I left him against
his will an hour earlier to give his statement to the
officers while I hunted for his older sister. Susan and
Arthur's two cousins, Catherine and Karen, were hitching a
ride back to the reservation with us. Customary indifferent
to the conflicts occurring under their noses.
Chaos was no stranger to these people. Susan and Arthur had
endured several major family tragedies in recent years. From
the permanent hospitalization of their mother, who had
lapsed into an alcohol induced coma two years before, their
family ripped apart from lack of parental control, to social
services interaction and several police related incidences.
Both of them had dropped out of school already that year.
Neither one had completed even the basic elementary levels.
The children were understandably justified in their lack of
respect for any authority figure, having had all their hopes
and dreams crushed by those who should have protected them.
Now they rebelled at any idea of self control, of any notion
that their own way was any worse then that of those who had
guided them so far. After years of being allowed to make
decisions on their own, with little input from outsiders, or
insiders for that matter, begin taught an, "if you want to
do it, just do it," attitude, how could a person possibly
show these kids that life came with rules, guidelines and
morals? I had been attempting for several months to build up
a trust with them, but it seemed hopeless. Yet occasionally,
a glimmer of light seemed to trickle through the darkness.
Just enough to make me not give up.
Silently, I prayed for wisdom as the car bumped and clamored
down the reservation road. Rocks flew out from under the car
as I swayed to avoid potholes made deeper by each rainfall.
I wasn't willing to end the evening by dumping off these
youths at their respective homes, only to hang their heads as
they recorded yet another day of harmful memories. Suddenly
it dawned on me to follow my intuitions. Sometimes our first
impressions seem so strange and daring that we allow them to
slip away as unconsidered, outlandish notions. But I was
desperate. Hitting the brakes, I began to slow down. I had
no assurance that my spontaneous actions wouldn't result in
further separation, but I decided to follow them anyway and
go with the flow.
After pulling over and stopping by the edge of the road, I
invited the startled kids to get out of the car. I'm sure
they thought I was going to finally scold them for the
madness they had put me though that day. However, I was able
to coaxed them out of the car with a gentle, but firm, "trust
me." Then I reached back into the vehicle and turned out the
car lights. Instantly darkness surrounded us like a heavy
blanket. With the lights out, the beauty of the Northern sky
came rushing in on us. "What are you doing?" became the
chant of my four, overly suspicious passengers as they mulled
around the vehicle. "Just listen to the silence," I said to
them. "Look at the beauty overhead, smell the cool,
perfumed air." Everyone's face turned upwards, I could hear
deep gasps of breathe being inhaled. A familiar sight, one
they had seen all their lives, still managed to captivated
them.
"This is just to incredibly awesome to let pass by
unnoticed," I said. I had never seen the starlit sky more
brilliant. Layers upon layers of sparkling stars twinkled
their heavenly score down on us. It was easy to imagine this
shimming, incredible beauty as notes floating downwards from
heaven as they leaped off instruments being played by an
angelic orchestra, music written hundreds of years ago by
the pulsers of distant celestial bodies, purging their light
for the universe to enjoy forever. The Aurora Borealis
corresponded its own gentle rhythms to the pulsating beat of
the higher heavens, the already flawless sight enhanced to
heights of stunning beauty with added colour and motion.
Reaching through the opened car window, I turned the radio
on. Soft music floated peacefully out. I joined the heavens
in dance as I stood in the middle of that wilderness road,
feeling blessed as I drank in a wonder that lived today, yet
had been born in the distant past of the universe. Soon
everyone had their arms spread wide as they joined in my
midnight waltz. "Isn't this wonderful?" I asked. They all
agreed. Any tension that had previously lingered, was
extinguished by the harmony found in that unforgettable,
moment as nature soothed our souls.
A car drove past us, breaking our serene mood. The kids
decided we should drive to the beach and do the same thing
there where we wouldn't be interrupted. I gladly agreed to
oblige their request. Little did they know, I wasn't
finished with them just yet.
We parked on the sand by the mouth of Great Slave Lake. Once
again, my live cargo exited the vehicle. Once again, I
turned off the headlights of the car and once again the
heavenly light show became our main focus. We danced on the
frozen sand as music floated around us, harmonizing with
the whistling wind as it rushed in off the ice covered
lake. The Auroras Borealis played a minuet with the Arctic
wind, pulsating overhead in shades of emerald and blushing
pink. "What a wonderful gift from God," I said. "The darker
it is, the more His light shines through."
Now unified by our quest, we marveled at the beauty of the
heavens above. We felt the crisp touch of the chilly spring
wind. The pure, unpolluted aroma of nature filled our souls
and tingled our senses. "It takes the darkest background to
enhance the smallest of lights," I said to no one in
particular. Taking hold of the closest hand to me, I
managed to form everyone into a tight little circle. I
began to pray, asking God for His love to touch all of us
standing under His vast beauty. I asked for God to show Susan
His love for her, to touch her heart and be the one true
light she and the others could count on.
When I was finished, to my surprise, Catherine started to
pray. She asked God to watch out for Susan and guide her. She
continued by asking her deceased great-grandmother to protect
and watch over them. Suddenly Susan began to cry. Without
being urged, she offered up a short prayer herself. Tears
flowed from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks, as she told
God she hadn't realized anyone had cared. The unexpected
show of love from those around her had touched her aching,
rebellious, heart. She prayed to God for help to change. She
realized the great responsibly she had, which was to help
guide her younger brothers and sister. She thanked God for
caring, and asked for His help in her shattered life.
Afterwards, the hugs began as we embraced each other in new
hope. For awhile, Susan's heart felt free. I know because
she later told me so. Susan had experienced a sense of
faith and hope she had never experienced before. Funny thing
was, from that night on, things got a lot better. Little
Arthur had participated in silence, and had been eager to
share in the hugs. He usually tried to put on a hard front,
but I knew different. It was just a small beginning, but
even Earth was void on its first day of creation.
The youth who were with me that night never forgot our
experience, mentioning it again on several occasions. I could
never convey the true essence of what happened, because I
don't really know myself, but I know small seeds were
planted. Personally, I learned to take more seriously those
seemingly ridiculous impressions that run through my mind.
I agree acting on impulses could be dangerous, but I'm sure
they are a vital avenue that the Holy Spirit stills speaks
through, as He attempts to use us in more effective ways,
making us successful partakers in the recreation of shattered
lives.
"If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that
believeth." Mark 9:23. Faith to trust in Him. Great
opportunities are often left untouched, because we ignore the
impulses of the Spirit that ride on the heels of our prayers.
Are we daring enough to follow His guidance? Do we truly
possess a working, experienced faith, knowing full well that
God is in control? Have you learned to trust the outcome of
events you can't control, or to follow them when you have no
idea where they are leading you to? I have found that by
trusting these impulses that ride on the heels of prayer, I
have gained the pleasure of their unexpected outcome. Each
episode, deepens the conviction that my trust has been
correctly pledged to the wisest of the wise.
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