Thursday morning. Jive building. Advocate interview in one hour.

           

            “Morning,” Kevin said to Nick quietly as Nick came into their clubhouse. The boys had a room at the Jive building that was theirs. They hung out there, changed there for photo shoots, had meetings there, and in this case, had interviews there.

            “Morning,” Nick said quietly, going over to the small kitchenette to get coffee.

            “How was the radio?” Kevin asked.

            “Fine. Same old, same old. Hildee says hi,” Nick said quietly, sitting down on a chair opposite from Kevin. “So do you have any idea what this interview is about? Jack told me at the photo shoot yesterday, but I wasn’t paying attention,” Nick asked.

            “Yeah, it’s about gay couples living in today’s public. They’re interviewing like other couples too,” Kevin said. “It will be us, Christina and her girlfriend Anna, Rupert Everett and his partner, Elton John and his partner, and Melissa Etheridge and the girl she was dating who she is now unionized to.”

            “Oh. Anyone we know? Besides Christina and Anna?” Nick asked quietly. He figured if he was going to have to tour with Kevin and give an interview with him ten minutes from then, he might as well get used to talking to him again. They had barely said two words to each other since seeing each other at Planet Hollywood the previous Saturday

            “Chris and Justin. And, um what’s her name…the women in congress, and that boy Chris from the Real World Chicago. Remember we met him at the VMA’s last September, ” Kevin said just as the door to their room opened. It always amazed Kevin how fast Nick was when he had to be. He was over sitting next to Kevin in less than a second.

            “Kevin, Nick, good to see you,” Steve Johnson, a writer for the Advocate said.

            “Good to see you too, Steve,” Kevin said as he and Nick stood up to shake Steve’s hand.

 

 

 

            After a couple of minutes to prepare, Steve was ready and the interview began.

            “So five years ago, the public found out about you two. What do you think has changed better or worse since then?” Steve asked.

            “Well, as far as us, we’ve grown as a couple. We’ve become a stronger unit. As far as the public and their feelings towards homosexuality? I don’t know. Sometimes it seems as if people have become more excepting. Other times it seems like the public has taken steps backwards,” Kevin said.

            “Five years is a long time. I remember when it was first out, Kevin and I were afraid to show affection towards each other in public. Now it almost seems as if we’re a normal couple,” Nick said, biting his tongue to keep from crying.

            “Do you two feel like your good role models to today’s gay youth?” Steve asked.

            “I like to think that we’re good role models to all of today’s youth, not just those of whom are gay or lesbian. Either way though, it’s nice to know that people look to me as someone they admire,” Kevin said.

            “I feel very flattered that there are kids in today’s world who look at me and say, ‘I admire him.’ And if it’s because I’m gay and I don’t hide it, or if it’s because they admire my talent, either one it’s nice to know that people think that way about you,” Nick said

            “Does that factor into your everyday life? Do you consider that when you think about what you do in terms of your public persona?”

            “I think the reason we’re considered role models is because we live our lives as if the there were no public watching us. Nick and I would live the same way if we were some Joe Shmoe living in Hoboken. Granted we wouldn’t have to worry about security and stuff like that, but in terms of our moral behavior, we haven’t changed our values to please others. Others look up to us for the values we already had,” Kevin said, looking up as Nick took his hand in his and squeezed it.

            “Do you ever wish that you were just some random person not living in the public eye?”

            “Definitely. I’ve always said that there was a part of me that wishes I could have gone to high school and done all the normal teenage things and gone to college. But I was given a gift to be able to sing and to be in this group with my brothers and Kevin. I wouldn’t give that up,” Nick said in a happy voice even though in side he was dying because before Ann died, everything they were saying was true. Now, it was just lies and he hated lying.

“What was the reaction from the other guys when you told them you were gay?” Steve asked.

            “Well, Brian already knew about me since he’s my cousin. AJ, Howie and Nick were really cool. They didn’t care. Lou was a little different. He wanted me to hide it. He thought having a gay band member would ruin everything,” Kevin said.

            “Well, when the band first got together, I was just coming to realize I was gay and God did I not want that to happen, so I didn’t say anything and just pretended I was straight. But then like three years after, I think I was like 16 or 17, I realized it was stupid to hide and I came out. Everyone was really supportive, especially Brian and Kevin. I met this boy who was my age, Kevin introduced us, and we dated until I was 20 when he broke up with me cause he told me I was in love with Kevin.  When I told Brian what happened, he laughed and said, ‘I could’ve told you that,’” Nick said, plastering a fake smile on his face at the memory that was nearly killing him now. He thought to himself this better be over soon or I’m going to die.

            “Now that Civil Unions are legal in Florida will you two be getting one?” Steve asked.

            “Not right now. Who knows in the future. That’s kind of private. I mean our plans for the future in terms of unionizing,” Kevin said quietly. He could feel Nick’s struggle not to cry.

            “Do you two ever think about having children?” Steve asked.

            “We’ve talked about it and we’d like to, but it just doesn’t make sense right now. We’re going on tour in two weeks for I don’t even remember how long and we’ve got another record planned. Kids are just not in the picture for us right now, “ Nick said smiling.

            The interview went on for another 45 minutes. The minute Steve left the room, Nick packed up his stuff and left, but before he could leave Kevin grabbed his arm. “Thank you, Nick, I appreciate this a lot. I really didn’t want to deal with the speculation as to why we wouldn’t do this article,” Kevin said quietly, trying to get Nick to look at him. It didn’t work.

            “I didn’t do it for you,” Nick said coldly and left not even giving Kevin a second look.