Kevin:

 

         “You don’t understand, Kevin! You’re not there! Your part is not there!” Brian explained, frustration evident in his voice. The five of us sat in my Tokyo hotel room, having an impromptu meeting about my behavior in the last week. The week following Lauryn’s return to Manhattan.

         “How am I not there, Brian?” I questioned, my own frustration becoming more obvious. “We’ve been sitting here for over an hour and you still haven’t explained that to me!”
         “You’re missing notes! Sometimes not singing at all! It’s throwing the rest of us off and making us sound like shit!” Nick bellowed, using his fingers to indicate the number of things I was doing wrong.

         “What’s going on with you, man?” Howie asked, his voice clam and business-like. “You’d never let us go on stage unless all the parts were represented perfectly. Why the change?”

         I rubbed my face with my palms, knowing exactly the reason, but I couldn’t say it out loud. I couldn’t come out and say, “I had an affair with Lauryn and now I’m missing her like crazy. She’s the cause of my performance inadequacies.” That would just lead to more problems. Problems I didn’t want to deal with.

         “We have two weeks left on tour. We leave for South America tomorrow. I think we all just need a break, but, Kevin, we can’t take it in the middle of tour. We have a month off before we begin our new album. Take it then,” AJ said.

         “You’re right. I need a break. That’s all. I’ll get my shit together so the show will go on like before. I’m sorry,” I stated to the rest of the guys.

         “Meeting adjourned!” AJ yelped, running out the door to smoke a cigarette.

         I continued to sit in my chair as the other three guys filed out. Brian stopped by my side and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Kev, I’m sorry I blew up at you. If you want to talk about what’s bothering you, and I know something is, just call me.”

         I smiled faintly in appreciation, but I knew I would never tell him. “Oh yeah, Brian! I’m fucking your girlfriend!” Is that what I’d tell him? Yeah, right.

         Everyone left and I sat there, wanting to call Lauryn, but not being able to finish dialing her number. I knew if I called her, I wouldn’t be able to let her go. I would continue to yearn for her until it tore me apart. I hoped that by eliminating all contact with her, I would eventually lose my feelings for her and we’d return to a state of normalcy.

         I gazed out at the active Tokyo nightlife amidst the neon lights of the down town district. “RING! RING!”

         “Yeah,” I sighed into the phone after picking it up.

         “Kev, it’s Bone. Listen. I’ve got two hot ladies with me, Chen and Ming Li, and Chen won’t go out with me unless I get Ming Li a date too. Howie can’t go, both Brian and Nick have ladies, so you should come.”

         Would going out with another woman help ease the pain I felt in my heart? Would she help me get over Lauryn? “Okay. I’ll meet you in the lobby in ten,” I answered.

         “Sweet! You won’t regret this! Ming Li is quite the looker!” AJ said excitedly.

         I checked myself in the mirror, grabbed my jacket, and went down to meet Ming Li.

         AJ was right. Ming Li was a knockout. Creamy yellow skin. Dark, expressive eyes. And a laugh that rivaled Lauryn’s. Spending time with her did relieve my pain, and I found myself thinking of Lauryn less and less and of Ming Li more and more.

         Ming Li and I soon found ourselves separated from AJ and Chen, but I didn’t mind. It gave me a chance to get to know her better. She was a 26-year-old PR woman for a small, independent modeling company that specialized in recruiting Asian models. More my own age with a stable career and incredible maturity. She was a fan, but didn’t freak out when I agreed to go out with her. She remained calm and collected. Like this was any other date.

         It was late when we returned to the hotel. “Ming Li, would you like to come up for a drink?” I asked as we stood in the lobby preparing to say goodnight.

         “I’d like that,” she answered with a strong accent.

         I escorted Ming Li to my room, opening the door for her. I turned on some tunes and poured each of us a drink. We stood next to each other nervously, sipping our drinks but not saying or doing anything. “Would you like to dance?” I asked, trying to rebreak the thin sheet of ice that had covered us. Ming Li nodded and set her drink down on the counter. I wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my face in her sweet, vanilla-scented hair, my fingers running through the strands.

         “I had a good time tonight,” Ming Li stated, gently stroking the back of my neck with her fingernails.

         “Me too,” I replied, my arms wrapping tighter around her. Her lips pressed against my cheek, and I closed my eyes. She pulled back and stared into my eyes while she traced her forefinger along my jaw line. Slowly, I leaned forward, brushing my lips across hers. Soft. Sensual. I kissed her again, harder and deeper, her tongue darting in and out of my mouth, her hands caressing my back.

         With out lips still attached, she unbuttoned the first few buttons of my shirt. She tenderly kissed my neck, gently nibbling on my Adam’s apple. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. “Kev! It’s AJ!” AJ shouted through the closed door. Both Ming Li and I sighed. I kissed her forehead and opened the door.

         “What do you want, J?” I asked.

         “Chen is looking for Ming Li. I think she wants to leave,” AJ answered. “I figured she’d be here.”

         “Yeah. Give me five minutes,” I replied, closing the door. AJ shoved hi foot in the way.

         “Damn, Kev! You that quick?!” he joked, clicking his tongue in shame.

         “Shut up and get out!” I closed the door and turned back to Ming Li. “Chen-”

         “I heard,” Ming Li interrupted. She picked her purse up off the bed. “Good night,” she whispered, kissing my cheek.

         “Good night, Ming Li,” I whispered back. She had just stepped out when I grabbed her arm. She gazed at me with rich, black eyes. “Can I call you?” I asked.  

         “Yes,” she laughed, handing me a business card. I kissed her lips lightly and she left with Chen at her side.

         It was only after Ming Li left that my mind began churning up the thoughts of Lauryn I had suppressed and now, I missed her more than ever.