| Chapter 2: Secret Love |
| I wasn't sure how long we walked along that boat deck, but what seemed like a matter of minutes was actually hours. We talked about everything as though we were best friends. I learned that she has a younger brother and sister and that they live in New York. That made me happy because I knew that I could still see her after the ship docked. When I asked her what they had been doing in England, I found out that thtey had been working with her aunt and uncle for the winter. "So, how old are you then?" I asked. "I just turned 19 in February. How are old are you?" "I am 21, and I will be 22 in October. Did you finish school already?" I inquired to keep her talking so that I could listen to the sweet sound of her voice. "Yes, I did. I know teach my brother and sister, because my parents can't afford to send them to school as well," she said so softly that I had to lean in to hear her. "That's a good thing though. It shows that you are a very smart woman. I wouldn't look at it as a bad thing, Kat. At least you know that you are teaching them well. It takes a lot of courage to teach younger people all those things. I admire you for that," I reasurred her gently after I had seen the look of shame on her face. "Well, I hope that they can learn as much as they can from me so that they can go out in the world and make something of themselves. I don't want to see them become just another factory slave," she finished harshly. I was taken aback with the tone of her voice. It sounded like she was about to spit nails at any second. It felt as though I had jus been slapped across the face. I decided not to tell her that I was a factory owner and that I was one of the bad guys that the so called 'factory slaves' worked for. I immediately began to feel bad about myself and I was wishing that I wouldn't been born the oldest son, to inherit my fathers successful mills. She must have noticed how quiet I got, because she stopped walking and turned towards. "What's the matter, Matt? Did I say something wrong?" It broke my heart to see that look on her face. It looked as though she had been chastised by her mother for saying or doing something that she shouldn't have. "Nothing, it's just that you sound like you hate all factory owners, even though you don't know what it's like to run one. I know that it must be hard for your parents and for you, but if it wasn't for the factories then your parenst wouldn't even have jobs. Now, I am not saying that all factories are good, because I know that a lot of them are pretty bad, but there are some that are very good to their people. Which factory do your parents work for?" I questioned after silently defending myself. "Brubaker Millwork Factory, is the one they both work for. Why does that matter anyway? Aren't they all the same? They work long hours for very little pay and they hardly ever get breaks. I just worry about their health. I just want more for my family. Is that too much to ask for?" she finished with tears shimmering on her long golden eyelashes. I looked deep into her eyes and said, "No, Kat. That's not too much to ask for. I know what factory you are talking about and I know that it's one of the worst ones to work for. I will have to give you the name of a good friend of mine that owns a really great string of factories and see what we can do about getting your parents a better and happier place to work. I'm sure that he will hire them on the spot. Don't worry about if from now on, alright?" She looked at me as a few small tears fell from her eyes and I could see the hope flashing in her soul. "Are you sure that he will hire them?" she asked quielty. I nodded and she wrapped her arms around me and whisspered, "Thank you, so much Matt. You have no idea how much that means to me." Her body felt so warm against mine and it seemed to fit perfectly cradled in the contours and curves of my muscled torso. I held her tightly for a minute before reluctantly releasing her. My whole body felt cold and empty without her in my embrace. With every passing second that we were together my feelings for her became stronger and stronger. For the first time in my life I truely endured what true love was. I had never felt this way about a woman that I had just met before. I dawned on me then that the woman standing beside me was my true soulmate. The one for me to love for all time. The only worry that I had was that she didn't feel the same way about me. I hoped with all my heart that I was wrong in my conclusions about that. Only time would be able to answer that question for me. We continued to walk along the deck and since I was thinking about time, I glanced quickly at my pocket watch. "Goodness gracious, Kat, it's almost twelve-thirty. I should take you back to your cabin. I didn't realize how much time had passed," I stated turning us in the opposite direction that we were heading. "It's that late already? I better go and check on my brother and sister. They are probably worried sick about me. It seems like we have only been out here for about fifteen minutes." she replied as we walked quickly towards the third class door. "I know what you mean. It does only seem like minutes have gone by. I would like to see you again tomorrow, Kat, if that would be alright?" I asked as we stopped in front of the door that would take her down to her cabin. "I would like that a lot. How about we meet right here at one o'clock? Is that a good time or do you have plans? If that's not a good time then we can meet whenever is convient for you," she rattled on before I could answer her first question. I held my finger over her lips to quiet her and responded. "One o'clock right here tomorrow will be perfect. I can't wait to see you again and you're not even gone yet." I let out a low breathless laugh and her eyes danced up at me. "Good night, sweet Katherine." "Good night, Matthew," she breathed before turning and going through the door. I watched her disappear down the stairway before I turned and made my way back to my suite. I wanted to kiss her goodnight, but I knew that it wouldn't be appropriate. Thoughts of her clouded my mind as I made my way back to my bed. I kept seeing her sweet smile and glowing eyes. The thought of her full lips pressed against mine caused a stirring in my heart that I hadn't felt in a long, long time. It wasn't just pure lust that I felt for her, it was pure love. My father once told me that you know right away when you meet the woman of your dreams and I never understood what he was talking about until tonight. The only way to describe the feelilng is to say that my heart and soul felt whole again. A feeling I had not had since I lost my wife during child birth less than two years before. This time however, it felt even more complete. Perhaps things were supposed to have worked out this way. My heart finally felt at ease and I knew that I could love again. Maybe even love deeper then I had in the past. Every little thing about Katherine was floating around me like a halo. Her smile, her hair and the sweet scent of her. He milky skin looked as soft as silk and I wanted to run my fingers through her mane of blonde curls. Her petite frame has all the right curves, in all the right places. When she hugged me, I noticed that she barely reached my shoulder standing at her full height. Her tiny hand seemed to get lost in the midst of my grasp. Still deep in my thoughts of Kat, I opened the door to my room. My reverie was burst like a bubble when I heard a voice snapping at me from inside. "Where the hell have you been, Matthew? We have been worried sick about you. You have been gone all night, and John Jacob Astor said he saw you galavanting around the boat deck with some third class girl. Is that true?" James snarled as soon as I shut the door. "I don't think that it's any of your business James. How did you get in my room?" I asked calmly. "The door was unlocked and so I just let myself in. So where have you been, brother? Or is it a big secret? I just wanted to make sure that the bump on your head didn't make you a little crazy. I have never heard of you being in the company of someone in a lower class then you." "Don't be a pompous ass, James. Besides, I already told you that it's none of your business. Especially when it comes to who I do or don't talk to. I just went out for a walk to get some fresh air and that is all that I am going to say about it. So, if you would please leave now so I can get some sleep, I would really appreciate it," I finished as I opened the door for him. After giving me a hard stare he exited the room. The second that I had the door closed, I locked it. I stripped down to my underwear and laid down on the bed. With my hands locked behind my head, I settled in and stared into the ceiling. I couldn't believe the audacity of my younger brother, acting all high and mighty. I had never thought of myself as a snob. I didn't consider myself to be better then others that had less then me and I didn't want to start now, just because I was one of the richest men on the ship. James's attitude proved that he didn't know me as well as he thought he did and that started to make my blood boil even more. Before I could let myself get even more upset with him, I pushed all these thoughts aside and thought about Kat. My heart pounded and excitement creeped into my pores with anticipation of seeing her again the next day. To me it didn't seem like the hours could go by fast enough until I could looke into her beautiful sapphire eyes. and hear her meloudious laughter. Soon I had drifted off into a peaceful sleep, with a smile of contentment on my aristocratic face. My eyes fluttered open with the sound of the first breakfast bell floating in from the crease under the door. 'It's only 6:30. Why am I awake this early?' I asked myself as I raised myself up into a sitting position. I rubbed my eyes with my hands and strecthed. It had been a long time since I had waken feeling rested and happy. The corners of my lips seemed to be glued up in a soft smile. I hefted myself out of bed and almost skipped over to the mirror. I flipped on the small overhead light and was surprised by the glow in my eyes and the brilliance of my soft and subtle smile. As I stared at my reflection I couldn't understand what had made me so happy and then it all came back to me in a flourish of memories from the night before. Matthew's face drifted before me in my mind and my smile became even more resilient. I could hear the deep southing sound of his voice in my head and I could still feel the warmth of his embrace. My body tingled with memoies and sensations as I washed and clothed myself for the day. "Katherine, why are you up so early? And are you humming?" I heard Dorothy's voice whisper from behind me. My hands stopped in mid-air while I was fixing my hair when I heard her voice. I turned to see her head peeking around the corner of the small cubby where the bunks sat. I hadn't realized that I was in fact humming. "Sorry to wake you so early, Dorothy. Try and go back to sleep. I won't hum anymore, I promise," I replied softly so I wouldn't wake up Teddy. "I don't think that I will be able to get back to sleep now. I'm to curious about why you are so chipper this morning. When I last saw you, you were talking nonsense and looked scared to death. So, now I am wondering what brought this change on. I tried to wait up for you last night, but my exhaustion took over and I fell asleep and didn't hear you come in. So what happened that has made you so happy?" she probed as she got out the of the lower bunk bed. I stared ar her with my mouth hanging open. I couldn't believe that she was seeing my happiness so clearly. "I don't know what you are talking about, Dorothy. I am always this happy," I fibbed so that I wouldn't have to explain myself to her. She caught my fib and replied, "Whatever Katherine. I haven't seen you this happy since we were kids. I know that something must have happened last night to have you glowing. Now spill." I debated wehter or not to tell her the truth or make something up. I didn't want to share my meeting Matthew yet, because I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out or if he even felt the same about me, the way that I was feeling towards him. I could sense that I was falling head over heels in love with him and I didn't want to say anything to ruin the chances of it actually working out between us. I decided on the latter and plainly said, "I met someone very special last night." When I failed to say anything further, she planted herself in front of me with her hands resting on her slender hips and I knew that she wasn't going to let it rest. "Could you elaborate, please?" she demanded. "Oh, alright," I breathed and grabbed her arm and sat us facing each other on my bed. When we were both comfortable, I began to replay the evening with the man of my dreams to my sister. As I described everything to her in detail I could see her become more and more intrigued. Tears started to stream down her face when I told her about his promise to find a better place for our parents to work and I knew that she already approved of him being in our lives. When I finished my story she looked at me with twinkling emerald eyes and before I could say anything further she grabbed me in a tight hug. As she held me against her she whisperd, "Now I understand your happiness and I hope that it all works out for you Katherine, because you deserve to be happy. Will we be able to meet him?" The rest of the morning flew by as we all went to breakfast and then busied ourselves with crafts. After we ate an early lunch I went back to our cabin and got ready for my date with Matthew. Dorothy and Teddy fussed over me so that I wouldn't have a hair out of place when I left them. Teddy had heard my conversation with Dorothy that morning when we both thought that he was still asleep. He was even more excited about it then Dorothy and I put together. When I was finally ready I walked slowly to the place that we would be meeting only to find that he wasn't there. I glanced at the clock hanging by the door and it read almost ten after one. Was I to late? Did he wait for me and decided that I wasn't coming? Before my brain could muster any further bad thoughts I heard someone call out my name. I turned to see him coming over to me. When he reached me, he stopped and looked into my eyes. "I'm really sorry that I am late. I got hung up with some gentleman after lunch talking about politics. Fun stuff, huh?" he explained quickly. "Don't worry about it. I just got here myself. Yeah, I would have to agree that politics would be a fun conversation to have over lunch," I replied with an over dramatic eye roll and sarcasm dripped from my voice. He laughed heartily and we walked on towards the back of the ship. When we reached our destination we sat on a wooden bench and picked up where our conversation had left off the night before. The afternoon hours flew by as we got to know each other even better. Never in my life had I felt such a stronge connection to someone else, especially a man. I felt completly at ease in his company and I loved the feeling that fizzed in my soul every time I looked into his clear blue eyes and heard his laughter. Just being near him made me feel like I was walking on cloud nine and that I could never come down. There was always a thought in the back of my mind, wondering if he felt the way that I did. But it never reared it's ugly head when we were together and I was thankful for that. As the sun began to sink into a pool of blue water and turned the sky beautiful shades of purple, red, orange and pink, we stood by the railing at the front of the ship where we had migrated to amongst our chatter and watched the sight before us. The sunset took my breath away and I couldn't speak for a few minutes as I watched the wonderful array of colors sink lower and lower into the night. I could feel eyes on me and I turned my head to see Matthew staring at me intently. I met his gaze and turned my body towards him before asking, "What are you staring at?" "You," he replied not taking his eyes off mine. "It amazes me hos much more beautiful you become everytime I look at you and the more I get to know you. I don't think that I have ever seen anyone as beautiful as you." Heat rose through my body, turning my face and neck scarlet. My soul seemed to be flying without wings and my heart was fluttering in my chest so hard that I thought for sure that he could see it. Words like that had never been spoken to me and it felt like I was going to melt into a puddle of goo at his feet. "That was the most wonderful thing that anyone has ever said to me," I breathed softly. He didn't answer me with words. Instead I felt his palm cup my face and his thumb caressed my cheek. I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes to enjoy the heat of his grasp. Gently I kissed the palm of his hand before raising my eyelids to meet his fixed stare. His other hand came to rest on my waist and he pulled me closer to him. We were only an inch apart and I could feel his warm breath on my lips. He peered into my eyes for a split second before he slowly moved closer to me. Our lips met with a soft and hesitant start, but the sparks between us immediately turned it into a deep and passionate kiss. My arms enveloped around him and he pulled me even tighter against him. Our lips molded together perfectly and I felt the passion rising in my veins. Very slowly Matthew began to peel his lips away from mine. when they were separated he held me close to him and never let my eyes leave his steady and passionate gaze. "Wow! That was one hell of a kiss," he said softly through staggered breaths. I very slowly nodded my head in agreement before answering. "That was the best kiss that I have ever experienced. Not that I have much to base it on, but it was everything that I have dreamed of for my first kiss." "What!? You didn't have all the little boys chasing you around the playground so that they could tackle you for a sweet kiss?" he asked teasinly and I shook my head. "Well that's a shame, because they are all now missing out. I hope that you will elt me do that again sometime. But for now I have to go so that I won't be late for dinner with my brother. But I would like to see you again tomorrow at the same time and at the same place. Would that be alright?" "I would like that more than anything in the world," I replied breathlessly. "Then I will see you tomorrow. Good night, my love," he whispered against my lips. He placed a small and sensual kiss on my lips before leaving me. I stood there and watched him walk away until I could see him no longer. I stayed at the front of the ship and mulled over the events that had just taken place. My lips were still tingling from his touch when I meandered back towards my cabin almost an hour after he had gone. I don't remember much about the walk back and before I knew it I was walking into the cabin and was relieved to find it empty. I sat there on the bed in a daze for awhile until Teddy and Dorothy arrived to take me with them to dinner. The rest of the night was blissful for me as I enjoyed the party after dinner and then I fell into a very peaceful sleep wehn we finally went to bed. Little did I know that I the next day would be a very disapointing day. At least at first it was. |