E A R T H B O U N D

 F A N F I C T I O N R E V I E W S

 

By Michael DePalma

 

Everdred, P.I.

Author: MikeTheEBGuru Status: On Hiatus Rating: Great

 

   One of the cool things about "EarthBound" fanfics is that they can fall into several categories and none of them would feel like a drastic change in tone. On one hand, you can have a serious, thought provoking piece of literature such as James's Any Day Now, ImagineGal's Cycle, and Giampi's Mother Alternate.

   Then you have the stuff that's just plain, goofy fun -- darn to heck all the rules of logic and common sense, let's just go for the throat and see how many people we can get a reaction from. That's what Everdred, P.I. is going for, and it comes through like gangbusters.

   MikeTheEBGuru has crafted a cool, clever, and relentlessly entertaining throwback to the P.I. shows of the 80s, with an occasional moment of goofy brilliance that serves as a reminder that we're playing by "EarthBound's" rules. From reading Everdred, P.I., you get the feeling that Mike grew up with guys like Jim Rockford, Lieutenant Columbo, Tom Magnum, and even David Addison and Maddie Hayes on his TV set -- there's endless respect for the genre Mike's working with (even though he's not afraid to poke fun at it every now and then), and it shows.

   My only complaint is that it might not be for everyone. Being a bit too much of a realist, I found it hard to move past Everdred being partnered with John Shaft to begin with. When I eventually got over myself, I was able to enjoy this fun trip down memory lane, "EarthBound" style. I'm not sure how others would react to this kind of thing, though. If you don't mind stories that are offbeat, give this a whirl.

   And Mike, if you're reading this, and you somehow find the drive to do Everdred, P.I. #4, how about tossing in Dolemite? "You rat soup eatin'..." Eh, on second thought, Huggy Bear would be cool.

Reviewed: An Everdred story.

The Basic Idea: Everdred’s adventures in private detection.

Opening: “It was a different era.”

Features: A sensationally slick throwback to 80’s crime shows.

 

 

 

Captain Starman: Day of Liberation

Author: Tamahasi (AKA Heavily Armored Hamster) Status: Complete (?) Rating: Great

 

   I'm not going to say that this is the most creative "EarthBound" story out there -- I'd say that honor belongs to the neo-"EB" stories that are starting to get popular. However, this story has an undeniably original concept, and mostly-poet-sometimes-storyteller Heavily Armored Hamster's execution of this concept is almost spot-on.

   It goes like this: The Starmen were not creations of Giygas. Rather, they were enslaved by Giygas a quarter of a century ago, forced to patrol the universe under his (its?) command. One day, a certain Starman ship's captain (Captain Starman) notices that his ship failed to receive an hourly report from their home base. When he asks a crewmate to look into it, that crewmate later reports back that the home base is not operating at full power.  Another shipmate puts two and two together, and happily tells Captain Starman that the reason the base was crippled was because The Devil's Machine was destroyed. Something like that could mean only one thing: freedom.

   I'm going to stop for a second and say that this was one of the best openings I've ever read, fanfiction or not.  A lesser writer would've botched an opening like this, I would've seen it as some amateurish "Star Trek" knockoff, and I immediately would've hit the "back" button on my browser. But this opening scene not only got my attention, it grabbed it, pulled it into a secluded area, and demanded its time.

   From there, we are introduced to the rest of the crew. These introductions also serve as a brilliant means of showing the reader the new lives of the Starmen, their lives of freedom. This is something I won't spoil, but it's nothing short of interesting, and it's wholly believable as well.

   After the introductions, the plot goes into full swing when the ship is mysteriously hijacked. Our hijacker flies into Earth's atmosphere, hovers over Ness's house, and abducts him. Ness meets Captain Starman (who now calls himself "Whirrin") and attacks him, thinking he's still the enemy. After Whirrin calms him down, he convinces a reluctant Ness to team up with him so they can find out who hijacked the ship and what the hijacker wants with Ness.

   This is a wicked cool space opera with plenty of twists and turns to be had, none of them expected, all of them good. What keeps it at "Great" and not "Excellent"?  Dialogue. There were just some times where I couldn't believe what certain characters were saying, particularly Ness. For example...

 

" ‘Starman,’ Ness spat. ‘How dare you abduct me out of my own home in the middle of the night! Are you upset? Are you angry that your precocious Giygas has been destroyed? Are you upset that you lost Earth?’ "

 

   I couldn't imagine Ness saying something like that. Don't get me wrong, every author is entitled to his own interpretation of Ness, but these words felt too haughty, too high-class. He came off like some Dudley Do-Right-voiced, cleft-chinned buffoon with that dialogue, and whether that's what HAH intended or not, it made his interpretation of Ness less likable to me.

   Oh, and he spelled "precious" wrong, too.

   Still, though, there's few instances of this since Ness really isn't the focus of the story, and the uneasy partnership between Ness and Starman really drives this story to the finish line. You will have a fine time with this story as long as you're not a complete stickler for dialogue. And, who knows, you just might want to read about Captain Starman's further adventures.

Reviewed: A Starman story.

The Basic Idea: A Starman teams up with a reluctant Ness to save his ship from the clutches of a hijacker.

Opening: “A tall figure that seemed to be made of flexible metal came running into the room, waving his yellow limbs . . .”

Features: A twisty, unpredictable plot.

 

 

 

EarthBound: The Path of the Four – Chapters 1&2

Author: Stewie Status: In Progress Rating: Fair

 

 

    When I first gave feedback on this story a few months ago, Stewie admitted openly that this was his first attempt at any kind of fiction.  I have to be brutally honest in saying that it shows.
    The Path of the Four is a simple novelization of
"EarthBound."  It’s been tried before –- even I’ve taken a stab at it –- and while it’s not the most original thing you can do, it’s good practice if you’re a writer that’s just starting out.  I once said that "EarthBound" fanfiction can fall into several genres and none of them would feel like a drastic change in tone.  So if one were to novelize "EarthBound," you could do a hundred different things with it and the chance of hardcore "EB" fanboys/girls breathing down your neck over it would still be very small.  (Unlike comic book-to-movie adaptations where God forbid you change one small detail to shorten the movie’s running time, lest you like having your head demanded for.)
    In novelizing the game, Stewie takes a very straightforward approach to the game, pretty much going detail for detail with the exception of changing some dialogue, making the characters older, and adding some extra characterization.  I stress that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this.  However, Stewie’s narration leaves a lot to be desired –- he’s got some interesting ideas for characters, sure, but he expresses them as if he’s somewhat unsure of the best way to put it on paper.  Take a look at this excerpt from Chapter 2, when Ness’s father calls up to wish him good luck on his adventure:

"It was Ness’s father, a man of hard work habits to say the least. Ness loved his father with all his heart, but good lord, Ness wished the man spent some more time with his family. Here it was, 3 am, and his father was still at the office, working on problems there. Although it saddened the family he was never home, Ness understood. He went with his dad to his office one day, and his desk was...well not there. It was so covered in paperwork, Ness wondered how many Redwoods gave their lives for this paperwork, and 2 dozen at least, he was roughly guessing. On the bright side though, His family MUST have been millionaires by the amount of overtime and backup pay his Dad’s company owed him."


    The paragraph doesn’t really flow so well.  Some of it has to do with a few missing commas, an occasional mis-capitalized word, but you still get the feeling that Stewie rushed through this, like he knew what he wanted to say, but didn’t know how to say it. Couple that with some dialogue that feels a bit off, and all you really have is a good try –- nothing more.
    Right?
    Actually, if it was that simple, I’d just give it an
"Um..." and wash my hands of the whole matter.  But, see, the thing is...Stewie’s got some talent.  It’s very raw, but he’s got it.  Taking another look at the above paragraph, the sentence "Ness wondered how many Redwoods gave their lives for this paperwork... " I can tell that Stewie’s got some really cool ideas in his head, and when it comes to writing, my belief is that all you need is determination and a really cool idea.  The rest gets worked out with time.  If his AN in Chapter 2 is to be believed, then Stewie loves writing like Adam West loves his taffy, and I doubt anything I say in this review is going to put him off.
    Point in fact, I hope this doesn’t put him off.  If Stewie keeps at his writing, he could turn out to be a very interesting author.  With a little editing and a lot of time, this story just might work its way up.

Reviewed: An “EarthBound” Novelization
The Basic Idea: A straightforward retelling of “EarthBound.”
Opening: “The year is 2009...”
Features: The beginnings of a new star writer.

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