Sorry guys if I've seemed distant... I must have 'cause even my mother noticed I wasn't myself. I don't know where I've been, or what was going on in my head... wow, that's been happening to me alot lately.
Since Christmas I've been contemplating some dangerous methods of body control... the more I think about it, the sicker I feel which kinda actually helps me get closer to actually doing it. I don't know why I'm even telling you guys, 'cause I know that all you'll do is tell me I'm crazy, that I look fine and all that shit... but I went shopping yesterday and I put on a pair of size 13 pants and they fit me. I'm not happy but I can't do anything about it... every time I try something like exercising, it doesn't work, I can't keep myself doing it... I saw my cousin use this and it was drastic, but maybe that's what I want- to scare myself half to death, maybe even get really close to it.... and it'll make me change or something.
I guess that does make me crazy, doesn't it?
I'm losing it- just like I lost my friends, just like I lost her... losing my mind will just complete the picture...
