episode21

Episode 21: Waves of Sadness part 2

Last time, on Adventures In Space, we left our heroes flying trough space at triple reverse superhyperduperspaceflight! Thinking that they would go back in time, they were hoping to reduce the population of Schnubbs on Schnubbland to avoid future problems of surpopulation! Did the Rentacar succeed with its attempted time travel? Read on�

***Jeremy is having some sort of oceanic dream***

Jer: Sadly, the sad bird lies, dead, in the waves of sadness.
Jen: Jer! I�m in this wavy dream too�do you think we succeeded in time travel, or are we all dead?

***Jeremy wakes up, the bridge around him is all broken and panels everywhere are burnt out***

Dan: Captain, I believe we have succeeded.
Brit: I had the weirdest dream�
Mat: There were waves�
Ben: Waves of sorrow�
Anita: No, they were waves of misery!
Al: I thought it was milk�I�m thirsty.
Jer: No, you�re all wrong. They were waves of sadness, okay?
Jen: Why would we have a dream about waves of sadness?
Anita: Who knows? It was, after all, time travel.
Jer: Anita, what�s our position?
Anita: 100 kilometres from the planet Schnubbland, captain.
Jer: We did it! Ben, what�s the date?
Ben: It�s April 28th, 2003, sir. Looks like we made it on time, get it? On time! Get it?
Brit: We should have dropped him of in 1950.
Jer: Agreed. Dan, give me a damage report.
Dan: The hull is severely fractured. We could land the ship, however, if I divert power from life support to the structural integrity field.
Jer: Umm�no, we�ll just take a shuttle. Brit, Anita, Mat, Jen, Alex, you�re all with me.
Brit: No thanks, captain. Schnubbs of this year must be a billion times worse than Mat, so I think I�ll stay on the ship.
Jer: All right then, your loss. Ben, you have the bridge. Dan, I want the ship repaired by the time I get back.

***On the surface, after having landed the shuttle***

Jer: Anita, any life signs?
Anita (with a quadcorder): Yep, but I can�t tell you how many because there�s radiation coming through the atmosphere.
Jen: Radiation, man�s best friend.
Alex: Isn�t radiation dangerous?
Mat: Did you know Schnubbs could see radiation with their eyes? See, you guys see radiation as death, destruction, chaos and annihilation, but to us, it�s a cheery flecked rainbow of striking colours.
Jer: We�d better start walking before he realizes he�s not king in this century.

***3 kilometres later***

Mat: I can sense them! Up ahead!
Anita: Yep, there they are, all�three of them?
Jen: Only three Schnubbs?
Al (holding his ray gun): Well that makes my job easier.

***The Schnubbs come into view. They are comparable to prime apes, hairy and disgusting, picking at each other�s lice***

Mat (picking at Jer): Ewww! Aww gross! They�re so primitive! I can�t believe my species used to be that!
Jer: Dude, dude, I don�t have any lice, get off me.
Anita: Don�t look at me; I got no bugs either.
Jen: Sorry bud, no lice on me.
Al: They�re so cool! Check out the really hairy one! I think that�ll be the one I take out.
Jer: No, Alex. I�m the captain; I should be the one to do this. I�ll set my ray gun to vaporize so that there�s absolutely no chance at all of reproduction.

***Jeremy vaporizes the hairiest Schnubb***

Mat: *sigh* It had to be done I guess.
Al (grumbling): Always Jeremy. It�s always Jeremy. Of course, it�s Jeremy.

***10 minutes later, back on the bridge***

Ben: Hello captain. While you guys were gone, we were threatened by the Blargon homeworld. Don�t worry though, I blew it up, its technology wasn�t all that good.
Jer: Ben! You idiot! Do you know what this means??
Ben: Umm�no�
Brit: It means that you just caused the future war with the Blargons!
Anita: Hmm. I always wondered why we were at war with the Blargons.
Dan: It�s fine captain. It was inevitable, either; Ben was obviously destined to start the war with the Blargons. Since we were already at war with them before we came to the past, it means that we had already travelled to the past and Ben had already destroyed the Blargon homeworld. The space-time continuum never fails, captain.
Jer: Dan, shut up.
Brit: Well said.
Jer: Positions everyone. We�re going to go back forwardly in time.
Al: Wait a minute. When we went reverse superhyperduperspaceflight, we went back in time. How do we go forward?
Jen: Uh oh. Can we go forward? We can go forward, right?
Dan: I suppose I hadn�t thought of that. Thank you, Alex; I shall conduct a research on the matter as soon as I have a free moment.
Jer: Dude! How do we go forward??
Dan: Frankly, captain, I don�t know.
Mat: Why don�t we put the engines on backwards?
Anita: Don�t be silly, Mat.
Dan: Actually, that might just do the trick.
Anita: What? No, I wasn�t talking about that, Mat wrote a love note on my desk!
Mat: Hah hah! April fools!
Ben: Dude, April fools is the first day of April, not the 28th.
Mat: Oh�
Jer: Brit, what do you think about the engines?
Brit: Why are you asking me? Do I look like an engineer?
Jer: Well you�re my counsellor! Counsel me!
Brit: Fine, I think you should ask someone else for counsel!
Dan: I believe, captain, that this method would work.
Jer (eyeing Brit): Thank you, Dan. Anita, flip the engines over.

***The Rentacar�s superhyperduperspaceflight engines turn over to face the rear***

Jer: Set speed, quadruple superhyperduperspaceflight forward, engage!

Will our heroes escape the time loop they may have created? Am I saying too much about the next episode? Only one way to find out, read on, and seek out the next episode of Adventures In Space!!!