| Jer: Captain�s log, star-date 250536-98MF8E-MM9.sys; -ext file.64 T.09_'WL System'-3519780_683769.nje 9376990.190049.474112-991.66.455.638320;G3. The Rentacar is on it�s way to rendezvous with the starship Flybyair, commanded by the captain known only as �Stumpy�. Meanwhile, on the Rentacar, the crew is progressing in their language lessons provided by my first officer. ***In a classroom*** Mat: Well everyone, what have we learned today? Crewman #47: (indiscernible Schnubb language) Mat: Very good! Ok, now everyone hold hands and go potty! ***Jeremy walks in*** Jer: Ah, Mat, how are things going? Mat: (translation of Schnubb language) Very better we learning today. Jer: (translation of Schnubb language) Mostly impressed is me by you educationing dumb-brains. Mat: (translation of Schnubb language) You remember Schnubb language, me is impressed in addition. Jer: Okay, enough of that, report to the bridge, we�re going to rendezvous with the Flybyair soon. ***In the turboelevator, Ben joins Mat and Jer on their way to the bridge*** Mat: So what�s the captain�s name again? Ben: Stumpy. Mat: *giggle* Stumpy�I wonder what it means� Ben: I think it means he�s got a small- Jer: -enough you two. Captain Stumpy is a highly decorated Earth Fleet officer. I expect you both on your best behaviour when you meet him face to face. Ben: Yes sir. Mat: A small what, Ben? I don�t get it� ***On the bridge of the Rentacar*** Al: Captain, the Flybyair is in position for rendezvous. Jer: Open hailing frequencies, ensign Anita. Anita: Aye sir, on screen. ***Captain Stumpy appears on the TV screen. By girl standards, he would be relatively good looking and has a British accent*** Jer: Greetings, I am captain Je- Brit: -Uh, allow me, captain, I�m Brittany, the Rentacar�s counselor. If you�d be interested, we�d like to have you over for dinner this evening, say, 6 o�clock? Stumpy: I�d be delighted to, counselor. Brit: Please, call me Brittany. Stumpy: Okaly-dokaly, Brittany. Stumpy out. ***Everyone stares at Brit*** Brit: What?? I was just being polite� Anita: Well well, sure snagged a pretty one there, Brit. Jen: Hey, how come you get dibs? Brit: Yeah, your right, he is pretty cute� Jer: Brit, that was- Brit: -please don�t give me a lecture, I know what I�m doing! Besides, there�s nothing wrong with him. Jer: His name is Stumpy!!! Need I say more?? ***6 o�clock, that evening, in the mess hall. Everyone is there, including captain Stumpy and his first officer, commander Shorty McShort*** Jer: Our chef, crewman #06, will be out in a minute with the appetizers, captain Stumpy. Ben: *giggle* Stumpy: Is something the matter, ensign? Ben: No sir, Stumpy, sir! *giggle* Jen: So, captain Stumpy, been in any interesting battles lately? Stumpy: It�s funny you should mention battles, we�ve been in a few interesting skirmishes along the Earth Fleet/Blargon border within the past few months. I�d be delighted to enlighten you and your crewmates after dinner, perhaps. Anita: I�m sure we would love to hear your stories. Stumpy: Say, captain Jeremy, why is your first officer on the floor eating out of a dish? Jer: Oh, he isn�t house-trained yet. ***Brit kicks Jer under the table*** Jer: It�s on my to-do list, okay?! Dan: Commander McShort, how is the engine efficiency on the Flybyair? Shorty: You�ll have to speak up chief. I can�t hear you. Dan: I said how is the eng- Shorty: -what? Speak up, lad! Dan: Never mind, commander. Al: I wonder why his name isn�t McIcan�thearanythingsospeakupbecauseI�mstupid� Ben: Probably because it�s not a real name! Mat: So, stumpy isn�t a real name either. ***Silence*** Mat: Or is it� ***More silence*** Mat: Or isn�t it� ***More silence*** Mat: Or is it� Jer: Right�er�captain Stumpy, I�m sorry for my Schnubb friend�he sometimes gets confused as to when he should shut up�and when he shouldn�t. Stumpy: It�s quite all right, captain. In fact, I should return to my ship right away and prepare preparations for our preparatory mission in preparation. Excuse me. ***Captain Stumpy and commander Shorty McShort leave the Rentacar and return to the Flybyair*** Brit: Great, you really did it this time, Schnubb. I�m going over to the Flybyair to apologize. Mat: Or are you� Al: Well, would it seemlike captain Stumpy has a very�short�amount of patience? Ben: Could you say he is�short�tempered? Dan: Or perhaps even�short�of excuses? Jer: Is it just me, or does the broccoli seem a little�stumpy�today? Al: That reminds me, captain, we are in�short�supply of torpedoes. We should reload soon. Ben: Our�short-range sensors are not detecting anything new, captain. Dan: There is a�stump�growing in engineering, we should take care of that immediately. Jen: Enough, all of you! Anita: Yeah, who do you think you are, insulting a great man like that! Jen: Common girls, we�re going to go see him together. Brit: Yeah! Crewman #06: Hey captain, the oven has�short-circuited! Jer: You think that�s funny, crewman? Making fun of a superior officer? Alex, have him confined to the brig for insubordination. Crewman #06: But sir, it really has�short-circuited! I mean, we can�t cook anything anymore! Jer: You disgust me, crewman. Get him out of my sight. Al: Yes captain. Let�s go, maggot! ***On the Flybyair, Jennifer, Brittany and Anita attempt to correct the situation*** Anita: And we�re really sorry. Brit: And it won�t happen again. Jen: And Schnubb�s not house-trained, so it isn�t his fault. Stumpy: Well�it was rather rude of that pompous panegyrize palpitatious platypus to insult me like that, but you were most kind to me. I shall forgive and forget. ***The Flybyair shakes violently and panels explode everywhere*** Shorty (on the intercom): Captain, we�ve been disabled by 4 Blargon warships! If you�d been on the bridge, this would not have happened! Stumpy: Damn you! Damn you all! Damage report, Mr. McShort!? Shorty (on the intercom): Life support failure, superhyperduperspaceflight drive is overloading, the ship�ll blow, sir, we must evacuate! Stumpy: Damn you, girls of the damned! Wherever your ship goes, hell follows! Evacuate to the Rentacar! All hands, abandon ship! ***On the Rentacar*** Jer: Report! Ben: The Blargons have completely disabled the Flybyair. The Flybyair�s crew is teleporting to the Rentacar, sir. Jer: Raise shields once the Flybyair�s crew is onboard. Red alert! All hands, battle stations! What will the Blargons do, retreat before the awesome power of the Rentacar, or fight to the bitter end? Will captain Stumpy be angry with the entire Rentacar crew? Will his real name be revealed? Will Brittany win Stumpy�s heart by creating a false image of love only to find out that he is really an alien impostor? Will commander Shorty befriend his counterpart, Mat of Schnubbland? All this, and more, on the next Adventures In Space!!! (echo affect) |
| Episode 15: Stumpy was his name-oh |
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