| Episode 12: Computing Skills |
| As our adventurous heroes venture deep into bowels of unknown space, they characteristically stand at they�re operating posts seemingly making it look like they're working hard. ***Bleeping sounds in the background*** Jer: Ben! Stop seemingly making it look like you're working hard! Ben: What? Mat: Hey Jeremy, can I enter the star-date? Pleeeease??? Jer: No. Last time I let you enter the star-date, you ate the data-pad because it looked like a mushroom. ***Jeremy turns to the data-pad and enters the star-date*** Jer: Star-date 583299-68BF2R-LL6.sys; -ext file.00 C.01_'MT System'-5668452_000001.cxm 7798546.698413.587716-333.25.449.654997;R5. Brit: How do those star-dates help us anyways? Why can't we just buy a calendar at a Giant Tigertronium store like normal people? Jer: I don�t know. Oh wait�yes I do! It�s because of Earth-Fleet regulations! ***More annoying bleeping sounds in the background*** Anita: Why do Earth-Fleet regulations forbid us from having a normal calendar? Mat: I want the data-pad! I want the data-pad! Jer: Let�go�my�data-pad! ***Jeremy knocks Mat away and he falls to the ground face first on a newspaper*** Alex: A newspaper? On a starship? Brit: Which reminds me. We don�t have today�s paper yet. But they sell them at Giant Tigertronium. Jer: Gee, this sounds ominous� Mat: Giant Tigertronium! Giant Tigertronium! Dan: *On the intercom* Hey, Captain, I need some parts for the engine, the duct tape from episode 2 is falling apart. I think they sell the parts I need at Giant Tigertronium. Jer: What a surprise� ***Still more annoying bleeping sounds in the background*** Jer: Ben!!!! Will you stop making those damn bleeping sounds with your mouth?!?!" Ben: What? Jer: Alright. Anita, set a course for the nearest Giant Tigertronium store and engage maximum superhyperduperspaceflight! Anita: Aye aye, cap�n! We�ve arrived at our destination! Jer: But I just just ordered the destination! Anita: That�s true, but the nearest Giant Tigertronium is right next to the Hakim Auditory store we were just at to get Ben�s ears fixed. Brit: Although the surgery went horribly wrong and didn�t fix his ears! Ben: What? Mat: *singing* Your ears can have it all at Hakim Auditory! Ben: What? I can�t hear you. Jer: Well then, enough mindless babble, on with it! Anita, park the ship, then you Dan, Mat and Jennifer are with me. Brittany, take Ben to the Universal Hearing Aid Association store and get him another surgery. Let�s go! ***Anita, Dan, Mat, Jennifer and Jeremy are in front of the Giant Tigertronium*** Mat: This place is too big! We�ll never make it! Dan: By my calculations, the store�s mass exceeds our own by a factor of eighty nine billion, three hundred and twenty two million, ninety eight thousand, five hundred and sixty one point three eight five. Jen: Where do you get your calculations? Dan: Um�my um�highly�advance psychology. Jer: Alright. We�ll split into teams. Jennifer, you and Mat will get medical supplies. Dan, you will search for mechanical parts. Anita, you and I will search the candy department. Anita: Woohoo! Mat: I want candies too! Jer: Alright then, Mat, your with us. Jen: But� Dan: But� Jer: No buts! You have your orders! ***Meanwhile, at the Universal Hearing Aid Association*** Brit: This music really sucks� Ben: What? Brit: This waiting room is really cramped� Ben: What? Brit: This seat is so uncomfortable! Ben: What? Brit: Man�who would read magazines like this? Ben: I know what you mean! My toes are covered in fungus too! ***Meanwhile, in the mechanical department of the Giant Tigertronium*** Dan: Excuse me, I require a polaron accelerator fused with a corbomite alloy. I also require 3 units of dioxinated gorbom gel packs, a phased ionitizer, a metron cylindrical containment shell, 9 biothermal auxiliary feedwater containers with the optional beyasian fields, one chemical recombination chamber and a fast fission quatum fuel rod. Clerk: Ok, so that�s a PAC, 3 DGGPs, a PI, an MCCS, 9 BAFCs with the optional BFs, a CRC and an FFQFR? Dan: You can throw in some beef jerky, too ***Meanwhile, in the medical department of the Giant Tigertronium*** Jen: Hi there. Do you have any duct tape? Clerk: Sure do. This one here is extra sticky, it�s for those cuts that are just too darn big for the regular tape. This one here has a cleaning compound in it, it�s for the cuts that are really dirty. And over here� Jen: I�ll take 40 of each, please. Clerk: 40 of each? Yipee! That�s enough commission to buy me a bed to sleep in! ***Meanwhile, at the Universal Hearing Aid Association*** Brit: Oh common! We�ve been waiting forever! Ben: What? Brit: This is so boring! Ben: What? Brit: Shut up with your whats!! Ben: What? Brit: SHUT UP!! STOP SAYING WHAT!!! Ben: I can't figure it out either! Bob Barker should be dead by now, but he's doing his 61rst show this month! Brit: AAARGHH!!!! ***Meanwhile, in the candy department of the Giant Tigertronium*** Jer: Woohoo! Candy! Mat: It�s so fun! And tastes so good! Anita: I�m in heaven! Clerk: Excuse me, are you going to purchase this candy? Jer: We�re just looking for now. Clerk: You know the rules, sir, you open it, you bought it. Anita: What are you talking about? We didn�t open anything! Clerk: *pointing at Mat* He�s bathing in it, miss. Mat: Um�hehe� Jer: Schnubb! Must you bathe in everything you see??!?! Clerk: *holding out his hand* ahem. Jer: Alright alright. I�ll pay. Here you are. Anita: Well, no use in wasting all this! Jump in, Jeremy, the candy�s fine! ***Meanwhile, at the Universal Hearing Aid Association*** Brit: I�m going insane! Ben: What? Doctor: Next patient! Hehe� Brit: Finally! Let�s go, Ben! Ben: What? Doctor: "What" is right, humans! Hahahah! Brit: Monkey X!! Monkey X: That�s right! *hits Ben on the head* Ben: Hey, I�m cured! ***Jeremy comes flying in and kicks Monkey X�s ass*** Brit: Where did you come from? Jer: I was filling the ship up with candy and heard some evil laughs. Ben: How convenient. Jer: Ben, your ok now? Ben: Yep. We can be on our way. Gnome: Amen to that. Anita: Hey, gnome! I was looking all over for you! Where have you been? Jer: What the hell? Gnome: Just chillin with my homies, dawg. How�s about you and me go out for some pork chops later? Anita: Alright. But this time, no squirrels! Gnome: Sure thing dollface. Jer: *blink* The moral of this story: Don't do drugs! Once again, our heroe�s adventures seem to be packed with stupidity! What awaits them in the deep unknown? Only two ways to find out! Ask Jeremy, or stay tuned for the next episode of Adventures In Space!!! (echo effect) Special thanks to Dre for the begining idea of this episode. |
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