Charlie From Eat Your Heart Out
Charlie:If there's one thing I can't stand in the theatre, it's walking out alone on stage at the beginning of the evening to open a show cold (Grins) But it's better than waiting tables. I'm Charlie, (Ironic) ...your waiter for the evening. I'd rather be onstage tonight. Waiting tables is a toy job. You probably don't know what a toy job is. I'll explain. A toy job is a job that you don't really care about, that you do to make a living, while you wait for the chance to do the job you want to do. (Beat. He measures the audience.) But maybe you do know already. Being a waiter is sort of a standard job for an actor; it's expected. I mean , if you're a dentist or an insurance salesman and someone says "where're ya workin' nowadays?," and you say, "I'm a waiter at this little French place on fifty-sixth street," they think you're a failure. But if you're an actor, they understand. So. (Indicates the restaurant with a gesture) Ici, personne ne parle pas francais. (Beat) That's the name of the place. (Beat) Yeah, well I didn't get it the first time either. It means no one here speaks French. It's really a lunch place. At lunch they use four waiters. After lunch through dinner: one waiter. (Indicates himself) We' just get a few semi-regulars in the evening, and now, between lunch and dinner, nothing. (By now CHARLIE has started to fiddle with things on the tables. Straightening.) The food's good, French, reasonable. At lunch you can get a great meal here for about three-fifty, four bucks. Of course, the price soars if you start ordering little extras like coffee. (The GIRL enters.) She's gotta be kidding, It's mid-afternoon. (He checks his watch.) Three-thirty. (To the GIRL) Bonjour m'mselle.