The One Where Their Locked Out Part 1

By: Matt

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.

(Scene: Monica and Chandler’s. Phoebe and Chandler are talking in the kitchen, and Joey is in the refrigerator).

Chandler: Joey what are you doing?

Phoebe: Are you stuck in there?

Joey: No! But I got this really good idea for a sandwich. There’s Bologna, Salami, Tur…(Phoebe gets a nasty look), Cheese, Lettuce, and a tomato.

Chandler: Wow you have way to much time on your hands.

Opening Credits

(Scene: Monica and Chandler’s. Monica and Joey are in the kitchen, Phoebe

is playing her guitar, and Chandler is reading the newspaper.)

Chandler: So did you hear about the computer virus?

Monica: Sh!! Joey is teaching me to make his sandwich. Because I have a job interview today.

Joey: What?!?! Your not gonna make this sandwich are you?

Monica: Well no…

Joey: Well I gotta come with you. I’m not gonna have you making the Joey Sandwich.

Monica: You have a name for it?

Joey: Well you have a name for your clothes.

Monica: I thought you said you were gonna keep that a secret!

Phoebe (singing): Monica names her clothes

Joey is the only one who knows

Chandler why did you propose?

Monica: Ooooook. I gotta run.

Joey: Well I’m coming with you.

Monica: Fine!

Chandler: Well I’m not going to an interview because I have a job.

Phoebe: Bye everyone!

(Scene: Ross & Rachel’s. Ross and Rachel are looking out the window)

Ross: Wow look at the view.

Rachel: Why are we looking out the window?

Ross: Because we only have 5 more moths left in this apartment. The lease deal is almost up.

(Rachel holds her mouth and runs to the bathroom. You hear puking and the toilet being flushed)

Rachel: Yeah but I only have 7 more months of morning sickness.

Ross: What should we name the baby?

Rachel: Let’s worry about that later. (She looks outside) Oh look, Phoebe’s on the balcony at Chandler and Monica’s. Hey Phoebe.

(Camera shoots to the balcony. Phoebe pulls out a cigarette and lights it.)

Ross: Oh my god! Is Phoebe smoking?

Rachel: She is! Oh my god we gotta get over there!

(The grab there coats and rush out and lock the door.)

(Scene: The hall outside Ross & Rachel’s.)

Rachel: Ross….

Ross: Yeah

Rachel: Did you bring the keys to the apartment?

Ross: Uh Oh!

Rachel: Oh my god. How stupid are you?

( A long silence)

Ross: Am I supposed to answer that?

(Scene: The restaurant. Joey and Monica are talking to the restaurant owner, Greg.)

Greg: Well Monica you got the job. But I would like to know what this guy (points to Joey), is doing here.

Joey: Well I want you to try my sandwich.

(Hands the sandwich to him. He bites into it.)

Greg: Oh my god! That is delicious. Your hired to!

Monica: He is?

Joey: I am?

Greg: Yeah. You’ll be the head of the sandwich department.

(Scene: Chandler and Monica’s. Phoebe is out on the balcony. She sees Ross and Rachel crossing the street. She throws the cigarette off the balcony. You see the cigarette falling onto Ross’ head. Ross feels his head.)

Ross: Oh my god! I think a bird crapped on my head!

Rachel: Ew! Ew! Lets go to Chandler and Monica’s and get you cleaned up.

(Scene: The hallway. Phoebe just closed the door to Chandler and Monica’s. And Ross and Rachel just finished running up the stairs).

Rachel: Phoebe let us in! Its an emergency!

Phoebe: Why what happened?

Ross: A bird crapped on my head.

(Phoebe looks on Ross’ head)

Phoebe: Oh my god your so stupid! Its not bird crap. It’s a cigarette butt. Oh my god its cigarette butt!

Rachel: Well just open the door.

Phoebe: Well I kinda locked it.

Ross: You locked it? That door hasn’t been locked for years!

(You hear footsteps up the stairs. Then comes Chandler.)

Phoebe: Chandler thank god.

Chandler: What?

Phoebe: Well I kinda locked everyone out.

Rachel: So we need your key.

Chandler: I don’t have a key. Usually someone is there.

Ross: Oh my god, first I get locked out of my apartment, then a bird craps, I mean a cigarette falls on my head, now we’re locked out here.

Chandler: Huh?

Rachel: Never mind.

(There’s more footsteps. Monica and Joey walk up.)

Chandler: Monica we need your apartment key.

Monica: Why don’t you use yours? And why is everyone out here?

Phoebe: I kinda locked everyone out.

Ross: And there’s a cigarette butt on my head.

Rachel: I have to go pee!

Joey: I’m hungry.

Monica: Joey why don’t we just go into your apartment?

Chandler: Opps. I locked that door.

Phoebe: What?!?! Now your stealing my thunder!

Rachel: What?

Phoebe: Well you know I was the center of attention cause I locked everyone out. Now Chandler’s saying he locked Joey out.

Chandler: Anyway… I went in there to get Joey’s issue of Playboy and…

Monica: What?

Joey: You were the one who took them?

(The phone rings from Monica and Chandler’s.)

Monica: I bet that’s the doctor.

Everyone: Doctor?

Joey: Yeah we had to get physicals for our new jobs.

(The Doctor on the answering machine).

Doctor Clapear: Up yes this is Dr. Clapear and Joey is healthy for the job. But I would need to see Monica again. There was something on her chart and she should bring her husband. Thank you.

(Everyone is standing there in shock).