The One With The Taxi Driver

By: Matt

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.

(Scene: Outside Monica and Chandler's and Joey's Apartment. Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, & Monica just came out of Monica and Chandler's. Joey shuts the door. Then all of a sudden Emily (Ross' ex-wife) comes up the stairs.)

Rachel: Emily!

Phoebe: What are you doing here?

Emily: I need to talk to Ross.

(The door starts to Monica and Chandler's open. Its Chandler.)

Chandler: Whats going on out here? (then sees Emily)

Emily: I need to talk to Ross.

Monica: Why did something happen?

Emily: Yeah.

Joey: What?!?!

Emily: I broke up with my boyfriend.

Opening Credits

(Scene Joey's Apartment. Joey and Emily are talking.)

Joey: I thought the girls might wanna stay and talk but they went shopping.

Emily: It's ok.

Joey: So why did you want to see Ross?

Emily: Well if you were listening! I broke up with my boyfriend. And I thought I'd give Ross another try.

Joey: But Ross loves Rachel!

Emily: He what?

Joey: I mean he loves Rachel Buffay.

Emily: Buffay is Phoebe's last name. You pollywag! (gets up and walks out the door.)

Joey (sitting there): What the hell is a pollywag?

(Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Ross and Chandler are talking.)

Chandler: So what's up with you.

Ross: I want Rachel so bad.

(The door opens and Emily walks in. Followed by Joey).

Chandler: I thought I told you to hide her from Ross!

Joey: I did but she called me a pollywag.

Ross: What the hell is a pollywag?

Emily: It means a stupendous nitwit.

Joey: What the hell is that?

Chandler: It means you should listen.

Ross: Emily what are you doing here?

Emily: Because I love you!

(Emily runs over to Ross and they kiss).

(Scene: Taxicab. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are talking.)

Rachel: So who do you think? Ross or Joey?

Taxi Driver: Joey!

(Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel give him a weird look.)

Taxi Driver: Sorry. I was listening to your conversation.

Phoebe: Yeah we know.

Monica: Because you were laughing when we were talking about what size bra we have.

Rachel: Why did you pick Joey anyway?

Taxi Driver: Because it sounds like he could be like and Italian actor guy.

Monica: Oh my god! He is an Italian actor guy.

Taxi Driver: By the way I'm George.

Phoebe: What's your dating status? (looking at him sexy)

George: Well I just broke up with my girlfriend.

Rachel: What was her name?

George: Emily. Yeah her ex-husband Ross, was my ex-girlfriend's, Janice, ex-boyfriend's best friend.

Monica: Janice?

George: Yeah. She just to do this 'Oh My God' in this nasally voice.

Phoebe: Oh my god!

George: It was more nasally.

Rachel: You can drop us off right here.

(The taxi stops. Rachel and Monica get out. Phoebe stays sitting.)

Phoebe: Come on George. You can come up.

George: Ok.

Monica: To my apartment.

Phoebe: Yeah.

Rachel: Do you think I'll act like that when I'm done being pregnant?

(Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Chandler and Joey are sitting. Emily and Ross are kissing. Then all of a sudden Phoebe, Monica, Rachel, and George walked in. George sees Emily and Ross kissing).

George: You bastard!

(He runs over there and punches Ross.)

Emily: Stop!

(Rachel and Phoebe walk over.)

Rachel: Ross!

Phoebe: George!

(Monica walks out.)

Joey: Why are you yelling Ross?

(Joey walks over to Rachel and kisses her. Ross goes over to them, throws Joey over the couch, and kisses Rachel. Emily runs out of the room)

Emily: I hate you Ross!

(Phoebe then grabs George and kisses him. Chandler is left alone without any kissing him. Monica then walks in.)

Chandler: I love my wife!

(He runs over to Monica and kisses her.)

Joey: God! It feels like we're on some comedy show. I mean with all the kissing.

The End