Author: Toni McIntyre

Title: The One with Regrets 7/?

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Joey and Rachel make a decision. Yeah, if I say anymore I would ruin it!

Note: Enter little joke: You can elope! No you can’t elope…but oh honey do! Okay…I’m the only one in the world who finds that funny.

Dedication: To everyone who gave me reviews…thank you! If you are wondering why this part took me longer then usual to get out it’s because I’ve been in constant Ping-Pong action as to what way to take it. Oh well, I hope you like it anyway!

Dedication 2: To mom for telling me Elkin Maryland!

The One with Regrets 7: Where the Hell is Maryland?

Joey’s staring at Rachel, blinking surprisingly down at her. He closes his eyes, trying to wake up from this dream.

"Are you serious?" he asks when he opens his eyes again and sees Rachel looking up at him.

Rachel chews on her lip for a second before nodding furiously. "Yeah…I want to. I want to elope."

"E-elope…with me…okay," Joey says to himself slowly.

"Are you going to faint?" Rachel asks, eyeing him nervously.

"No, no," he insists. "I just feel slightly light headed that’s all…help me over to a chair?"

"Oh yeah." Rachel helps him over to the barcalounger and steps back as Joey takes quite a few deep breathes. He puts his head in his hands and closes his eyes, thinking for a moment. He never thought it would go this far, and as frightening as it is…it also feels right.

"Okay," Joey sighs, looking up at her. "Let’s do it, let’s elope."

"Okay," Rachel laughs. "We’re eloping!"

"Yeah!" Joey beams and hugs her, twirling her around in his arms.

Sometimes you should just say something stupid.

And take a shot.

***************

"Hey baby," Rachel smiles as she walks back into the apartment an hour later. She’s holding a large bag in her hands and Joey’s bent over the lap top, engrossed with something on the screen.

"Hey," he says without looking up.

"I bought a dress," Rachel sings, hopping over to him.

"Oh yeah?" Joey smiles, finally looking up. "Is it white?"

"Hmm…maybe," Rachel murmurs and kisses him on the cheek. "What are you looking at?"

"Oh well you know we obviously can’t elope to Vegas."

"No, too many memories," Rachel nods.

"So I did a search and I came up with this place called Elkin Maryland," Joey says, pointing to the screen. "So I figure all we need to do is find out where Maryland is and we’re set."

"I’ll buy a map," Rachel giggles. "So how in the world are we going to get there?"

"See you know how we agreed not to tell anyone we were doing this?"

"Yeah…"

"Well I figure we can borrow Phoebe’s grandmother’s cab…but we’d have to tell her what we need it for," Joey says slowly.

"Okay, we’ll tell Phoebe," Rachel says after a pause. "But only her…did you buy the rings?"

"Yup," Joey smirks.

"Can I see them!"

"No! Not till the wedding," he chuckles.

"Meany," Rachel mutters and his him in the arm. Joey leaps up from his seat at the barstool and picks her up. Rachel shrieks between laughs as Joey carries her to the couch and drops her on top of it, climbing over her. She’s still laughing and puts her arms around his neck as his forehead meets hers.

"I love you," Rachel says, giggling still.

"I love you."

*************

"Phoebe!" Rachel shouts, banging on the door. Joey’s standing behind her, carrying their bags. She knows that in one of them are the rings and the other her new wedding dress. Just thinking about it gives her shivers.

"Oh for the love of God, what?" Phoebe barks, opening the door. "Oh Rach! Hi!"

"Hi Phoebe, we need to borrow your cab," Rachel says.

"Why?"

"We’re eloping," Joey beams.

"You’re kidding me!" Phoebe shrieks and hugs Rachel. ‘Oh that is SO great!"

"Yeah so can we borrow the cab?" Rachel asks again.

"Oh absolutely!"

"Thanks Pheebs!" Rachel squeaks and hugs her friend again. "Oh and you have to promise you won’t tell Monica or Chandler or Ross okay, it’s a surprise."

"Yea, I love surprises!" Phoebe hops up and down.

"Thank you so much sweetie, we’ll see you when we get back!" Rachel calls as she and Joey take off down the hall.

"Bye! Congratulations!" Phoebe waves and shuts the door, smiling to herself. A second later though the door opens and Joey appears again.

"Pheebs…keys?"

"Oh, right!"

****************

"You need to sign here Mr. Tribianni where Ms. Green has already signed," the man behind the counter gestures to the forms out in front of Joey. Together he and Rachel had made the long drive to Maryland, and checked in with Phoebe who was feeding the rest of their friends an alibi that made Rachel in particular feel guilty. However Joey thought that if anyone knew they would just try to talk him out of the one thing he was so sure of in his life.

"Okay," Joey nods to the man and signs his name on the dotted line. Rachel had gone to the bathroom to change into her wedding dress and Joey had already changed into his tux.

"Do you have the tests?" the man asks.

"Oh yeah right here," Joey nods and hands over the test results to the man that he and Rachel had gotten earlier in the day.

"Okay Mr. Tribianni everything is in order," the man nods, reviewing the paper work. He looks up and past Joey. "Ms. Green we need you to sign one more place."

Joey whirls around and his eyes go wide. Rachel’s in a plain white dress that ends at about her ankles with no sleeves and a v-neck. She has a small tiara in her hair of blue flowered jewels and a bouquet of red and white roses.

"Wow," Joey mutters as she walks up to him.

"That good huh?" Rachel smirks.

"Uh huh."

"Ms. Green?" the man behind the counter tries to get her attention. "You need to sign."

"Oh of course," Rachel nods and signs her name in one more place. "You ready?" she asks, turning to Joey.

"Never been more ready," Joey nods and smiles, taking her arm.

"Okay we can begin now," the man says, moving from behind the counter to open the doors into the small chapel. To Rachel’s joy it isn’t a campy Elvis chapel but simple with a man in plain white robes behind an alter to perform the ceremony. Two witnesses are seated and Joey wonders how they ended up with this job.

"Ladies and Gentleman," the minister—or so we can guess—says. "We are gathered here to witness the marriage of these fine people. Now, Joseph begin your vows for Rachel."

"I Joseph," Joey begins, never breaking eye contact with Rachel. "Take thee Rachel to be my lawfully wedded wife. To love honor and cherish, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for as long as we both shall live."

"Now Rachel, recite your vows to Joseph," the minister prompts.

"I Rachel," she says, the whole while smiling broadly. "Take thee Joseph to be my lawfully wedded husband. To love, honor and cherish, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for as long as we both shall live."

Rachel makes a small squeal afterwards and Joey laughs.

"Now please exchange the rings you have chosen for each other."

"Oh," Joey sticks his hand in his tux pocket and pulls out to rings. He hands one to Rachel and takes her left hand to slide the one he is holding on to her finger. It’s a plain gold ring with a small circle diamond inset into the gold in the middle. But before he slides it onto her finger he holds up the inside so Rachel can see that something is engraved inside. She has to bite her lip to stop from crying as she realizes that it says Joey and Rachel.

After the ring is completely on her finger she shakily slides a similar ring—minus diamond but with engraving—on to his finger.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," the minister says joyfully, even though he must do this countless amount of times a day.

"You may kiss the bride," he prompts and Joey does…for a very long time.

**************************************************************

"Joey?" Chandler pops his head into Joey’s apartment and looks around. "Joey!"

"No one’s here?" Monica frowns and follows her husband into the apartment. "That’s weird. Even with work he’s usually done his scenes and back by now."

"Hey guys, what are you doing?" Phoebe asks as she enters followed by Ross.

"We’re looking for Joey, you seen him?"

"Er…no, why?"

"No reason really," Chandler shrugs. "Oh Ross, have you made up your mind?"

"Yeah," Ross sighs. "I mean it may take some getting used to but…I’m ready to accept that Rachel and Joey want to date."

"Oh that’s great!" Phoebe smiles. "Then when they get back from their wedding you won’t be mad!"
"WHAT!" Chandler, Monica and Ross all shout in unison.

"Ow, EAR DRUM!" Phoebe complains.

"What do you mean their WEDDING?" Chandler moans.

"I mean their wedding," Phoebe walks over to the door and slams it so everyone can see the small picture either Rachel or Joey has drawn on the etch-a-sketch of a small chapel. In big words it proclaims ‘not in, went to get hitched, back later’. Everyone knew Joey had to be the author of such a blunt message.

"Oh my god," Chandler mutters and puts his head in his hands.

"Yeah that about sums it up," Monica nods.

TBC…