HOT Jokes ! |
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| GORILLA LOVE: Roshan and few of his friends end up stranded on a tropical island. The only female around is a gorilla on the other end of the island. After one whole month the guys are all sitting around and Roshan stands up and says, "I'm so horny, I can't take it anymore!" So he grabs a bag and storms off to the other side of the island with his pals right behind him. They catch the gorilla, each guy grabs an arm or leg and Roshan puts the bag over the gorilla's head. He climbs on top of the gorilla and begins to do the nasty. The gorilla fights and struggles and finally gets an arm free and she wraps it around Roshan's back. Then she gets both feet free and wraps them around Roshan's waist. She gets her other arm free and grabs on to his hips and starts pulling him in harder and harder. Roshanyells to his buddies...."Get it off!! Get it off!! They said, "You're on top, we can't get her off of you." Roshans aid..."No, I mean the bag.....I want to kiss her!" |
SEXUAL MATTERS: Roshan announced to the bartender, "It seems I've been informally named advisor on 'Sexual Matters' at my company." "Wow, that sounds interesting. Does this mean that now you'll be counseling your big bosses on relations with their secretaries?" "Hmmmm... I'm not sure as yet," Roshan answered. "Not sure, what do you mean?" the bartender asked. "During a staff meeting, I popped up to suggest a reduction in executive expense accounts and it was after that I was told if they ever wanted my fucking advice, they'd let me know." |
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| NEW POSE: Roshan and Niraj are driving home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So Niraj is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex in someone's front lawn. "Look", he shouts, "What are the those dogs doing? Are they fighting?" Roshan replies, "They are having sex. Don't tell me that you have never had sex doggie style before?" Niraj, a bit embarrassed, admits that he has never had sex doggie style. So, Santa says, "You have to try it. Its pretty cool. Here's what you do. Tonight when you get home, fix your wife a drink and then suggest that you want to try this new sexual position." Niraj thinks a bit and then decides he will give it a try. So, the next morning Roshan asks, "Well. How did it go?" To which Niraj replies, "It was great. But it took me six drinks just to get her on the front lawn." |
GRATITUDE: In the prime of her career, a world famous painter started to lose her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world. After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor`s office. Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall. When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art -- the doctor`s office. During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor, "What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?" The eye doctor responded, "I said to myself, `Thank God I`m not a gynecologist.` |
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| CURE: A man walks in to a doctors office and says, "Doctor you must help me. I have AIDS." The doctor replies, "Are you gay?" The man answers, "Yes." The doctor says, "I think I can help. Go to the grocery store, buy a box of laxatives and a quart of prune juice. Take all of the laxatives and drink all of the prune juice. Take a nap for a couple of hours. When you wake up your problem will be solved." The man answers, "Will that cure my AIDS?" The doctor replies, "No, but you will find out what your ass hole is really for!" |
OWNERSHIP: A very handsome young man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with. The man said "This is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection which causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?" The pharmacist said "Just a minute, I`ll go talk to my sister." When she returned, she said, "the best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the store and £2000 a month in living expenses". |