What'd happen to me?

I know not what'll happen to me
When you leave for your new life?
A fact that terrifies me
I'm thinking 'bout it day and night.
 
I am scared of the solitude
The loneliness about to come
Without you by my side
I'd be so sad and glum.
 
You'd have something to look forward to
With someone, close by your side,
I wonder what'd happen to me
Thoughts of it gives me a fright.
 
In your life you'd get
Many friends like me
But I'd never get a friend
One best friend like thee.
 
I complained to you for so many things
I quarreled with you too,
I regret for all such acts, now
But I don't know what to do!
 
I am feeling so restless
I am feeling so bad
I always took you for granted
All such thoughts make me sad.
 
So many times I've hurt you
Without caring 'bout your thoughts,
All those thoughts are coming back now
Filling my heart with remorse.
 
I know not why this happens,
Why this happens to me?
Anything I feel myself attached to
Tends to move away and flee.
 
I depended on you so much,
I loved you so dearly too,
You warned me so many times,
Now I know why you said so.
 
My friendship was like sand on a open palm
Which stays there as it is
The moment I clenched my fist
From my palm the sand slipped.
 
I am too possessive about you,
Because you are my best friend.
I opened my heart like never before,
All my thoughts, on you, I spent.
 
In so few days,
You became so close to me
You had trusted me so much.
It filled my heart with glee.
 
It made me feel
'I am not just any friend'
Who comes and goes in one's life
And leaves no mark like a best friend.
 
All I can say now is
Forgive me for many of my deed
Pardon me if I have ever hurt you,
I never meant it, but very often I did.
 
My life would be truly bare,
Without you by my side.
You my friend, were truly dear
The thought scare me out of my life.
 
I could never do anything for you
Nor I could give you anything memorable.
Neither could I spend much time with you
Our positions (in life) made it impossible.
 
I would have this regret in life
I could do nothing for you, too.
Could do nothing, but call you.
In those calls even, I had quarreled with you.
 
These words don;'t have much meaning
To any person other than you and me
I hope you know 'bout my feeling
Because, truly, my best friend is thee.
 
Aeons later if we meet
I hope you'd recognize this admirer
I expect you to say, then
You look good in salt'n'pepper hair.
 
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