How much is a bag of chips on the streets?

Is it true that in the dry season, there might not be enough water to bathe?

Do you have to boil the water before drinking it?

Is bottled water available?

Is it true that because of water borne dangers of all sorts, you cannot swim in the water?

Disease is rampant?

Each of us must get a gamut of innoculations?

In Malawi, women are forbidden to wear trousers?

Is it true that transportation is next to impossible to secure and we can expect to be stranded from time to time?

Although there may be resort hotels on the plateau, there are no hotels in the town of Zomba?

Is it so cold in August and September that we can expect to sleep in our overcoats?

Are there any restaurants or markets where we can get food?

Because of the poverty, we can expect to have everything we bring with us stolen. Is this true?

Is it true there is no Internet access?

Do you get frequent power cuts?

Do lions live in Africa?

Where is the best place to see elephants?

Do you have topless double decker buses so the passengers can pet the girraffe at traffic lights?

How do you keep your pet giraffe off the sofa?

How much does an average giraffe leash cost?

When I ride my giraffe would I be wise to put blinkers on it so it doesn’t get spooked by double deckers?

What brands of beer do you have in Africa?

What's the childrens TV like?

How many telly stations?

Do you really need all those injections? They're just a waste of money aren't they?

Where do all the cute men hang out?

How much is a loaf of bread?