1. There were 5 piggies in a restaurant. The first piggy asks for one cup of water. The piggy gulps it down, he asks the waiter where the bathroom is. the waiter said " Down the hall to the right". The second piggy asks for 2 cups of water. The piggy gulps it down, he asks the waiter where the bathroom is. the waiter said " Down the hall to the right". The third piggy asks for 3 cups of water. The piggy gulps it down, he asks the waiter where the bathroom is. the waiter said " Down the hall to the right". The fourth piggy asks for 4 cups of water. The piggy gulps it down, he asks the waiter where the bathroom is. the waiter said " Down the hall to the right". The fifth piggy asks for 5 cups of water. The piggy gulps it down and heads for the door. The waiter calls to the 5th piggy and says "Aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?" And the 5th piggy responds: "No, im the piggy that goes wee wee all the way home!"
2.Garden of Eden After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Able. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and home."
3.A blind man walks into a bar... ...taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blond joke?" The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blond. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blond. The bouncer is blond. The man sitting over to your left is also blond. Still wanna tell that blond joke?" The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
4.Cheap Suit The fellow was being sold a very cheap suit. "But the left arm is a lot longer than the right arm," he complained. "That's why the suit is such a bargain," the sales clerk explained. "Just cock your left shoulder up a little, like this, and tuck this left lapel under your chin a bit, like this." "But the right leg is way too short," argued the customer. "No problem," the sales clerk answered. "Just keep your right knee bent a little at all times, walk like this, and no one will notice. That's why this suit is only thirty dollars." Finally, the fellow bought the suit, cocked his left shoulder into the air, tucked the suit's left lapel under his chin, bent his right knee, and limped out of the store toward his car. Two doctors happened along and noticed him. "Good heavens," the first doctor said to the second, "look at that poor crippled fellow." "Yeah," answered the second doctor. "But doesn't that suit fit great?"
5.A Death in the Family Sarah went to work one morning upset. She was in tears and very upset. After several minutes, her boss called her in his office and asked, "What is wrong, is there something I can do?" She replied "My mother died." The boss then said, "Why don't you go home, you need some time off." Sarah replied," No, I would like to stay, it will help me keep my mind occupied." The boss then replied, "OK, but if you should change your mind, just let me know." The day went on and all was going fairly smooth, when all of a sudden, the boss heard Sarah sobbing loudly. He went out to her desk and asked, "What has happened now?" She replied, "My twin sister just called, and her mother died too!"