steffexpose

   So...I've been summoned upon to write a "ramble". Now in Ashley's books, that's..what she's written. But in MY books..(which are the only ones that matter..i mean, come on, they're my books. Honestly, look at them. That's some fine bindings that are holding those wacky pages together. *flips through the books* ooo yeah baby, feel those silky pages..mmmm and smell that scent. New. Yup yup. I got them reprinted a while ago and kept the oldies in storage...in mah Ewan shrine. So if you look, you'll notice how my books are better than hers..It's like comparing a classic novel to a little kiddie book that teaches the alphabet..and just to clarify MINE is the novel..and hers is the..kiddie book. So, wake up and smell the coffee folks, MY books are THE ONLY books. But ive gotten off topic..).. ahem..in my books, she ain't got nothing on me. I am the ruler of rambling. The ayatollah of rock and rollah, so to speak. Just instead of rock and roll, it is rambling. So to be technical it's the Ayatollah of Ramblingollah..or just Rambling...whatever you prefer. Your choice. Ain't i nice like that? Giving everyone the choice between titles...damn.. *shakes head* Maybe i'm too nice. Maybe i should just sit down and say, to hell with kindness...all you non-ramblers are gonna call me Lord of the Ramble and that's it!!! hehe i should...Dammit, got off topic again....shite, now i gotta remember what i was talking about...um..oh yes. What i was GOING to ramble about before i so rudely interrupted myself was my usual topic of choice.. ME!!! no wait..that's not it. It's about EWAN!! yay!!! *claps...doesn't hear anyone else clapping* ....fine then..be that way..bunch of egotisitical people..too busy loving themselves to hear me out here...*big melodramatic sigh ... and im not talking with a grunting background..if you know what im talking about...you probably dont..and you cant hear me doing the sound...damned computer writing things..i just mean a HUGE ASS sigh.. nods to self* So, the other day, i was sitting around...doing nothing..as usual..so wouldnt that be doing my daily routine? and hell that sounds alot better than just doing nothing...so.. scratch that last part about doing nothing. I was "doing my daily routine", and i got to thinking. I wonder how small of a backpack i could fit into in order to smuggle myself over to Sydney? ( for those of you who are living in a freaking CAVE, Ewan has been over at Australia, filming the third Star Wars movie. sheesh.. and some of you call yourselves smart..) I have been determined to get smuggled to Scotland..but why go there when i can get to where Ewan is? See what im saying? I've got it all figured out. So, once i arrive in Australia, ill hijack a kangaroo and demand to be taken to the film studios and such. At which point, ill leap out of the pouch, saunter up to Ewan, and ask him to come with me. He'll agree, because well.... dammit this is my fantasy!! You can naysay however much you like when it comes to real life..but when I am telling the story what i say goes..ya got it? Good...besides..even in real life he would come.. *snickers*. And then we'll both travel back to Canada, while first making a detour in London for him to grab a few things. And TA DA!!! Ewan for me!!!! Not Ewan for everybody, because, honestly, who made the effort to get him? ME, baby...me... So i get to handle all the goods and profits... Ah yes..Ewan..the God of all men..the perfect specimen.. *purrs* The voice of an angel, the appearance..of..dear god..perfection.. i would just love to get all cuddled up against him...*drifts off* heheeh Ewan.. But that was my purpose, right there. To just mention what i would love to do with the smuggling...and such. Because, you know, it's not called a waste of time if there's a purpose. Especially if that purpose is Ewan. *winks* Now the only time i would call it a waste of time is if it is dark..in a very dark room..and Ashley is suddenly mentioning about how i look like Christian in the dark.. (note: once again...just in case... Christian is the character Ewan plays in Moulin Rouge...*backs up* ok..sorry to interrupt...let's get back to the story..) I do not look like Christian dammit!!! I am not a man!!! (despite the short hair, tomboy actions and manners of dressing..by the way..skirts, frilly fancy stuff, and make up are the works of EVIL!!!..i am not a guy. So girls, stop hitting on me... <---true story..won't divulge here) I am not as sexy as the great almighty Ewan McGregor. I am sexy..but not like that..THAT is an impossibility. I do not have a scottish accent...for real..hehe.. And dammit Ashley, THE LIGHTS ARE ON!!!! But, ah yes..i'm sure i have probably disgusted many, perhaps offended a few..or hell, amused the hell out of you...im hoping for option number 1..just kidding..2...haha!!! no seriously.. *serious look on face* number 3..i mean, come on, what kind of person do you take me for?? I am actually a really nice person..honest! But this ramble is now coming to an end. And for those of you who have actually stuck through and read this, i applaud you. I will return.. bwahahaha.....

      Author's Note: The views and beliefs of this ramble are those of Steff..and Steff only. Except for the Ewan is a god thing..and such..because we all know that's true. The owner of the website..being Ashley, duh, may agree..but doesnt necessarily. If anyone has been offended or repulsed..well..there's nothing i can do but write yet another ramble in the hopes of appeasing you picky, overly sensitive people.
This is merely a ramble. Many of the cruel things i have said which may have harmed you mentally were not intended as such. This is for entertainment use only. The reproduction of all or any part of this ramble will be prosecuted in the highest degree of you getting an asswhooping by yours truly. I WILL FIND YOU. I am not a twisted, evil and rude person...as i stated before...i just act like an ass cause funny things happen. hehe..All characters in this ramble are real...so..yeah...And any events that occurred in this ramble either have, or are going to happen. So any relation to real life is not coincidental, it is intentional. And no kangaroos were harmed in the creation of this ramble..nor were any Ewans brought back to Canada with me, unfortunately..yet...hehe..
     Thank you for your time.

                           THE GREAT STEFFINI WILL RETURN WITH MORE WISE WORDS....

Steff On Ewan... Exposed... Inside Scoop On What It's Like Being On The Top