| Does anything ever go completly as planned? Nothing seems to be as I had pictured it in my mind. Trivial things are ok; it's the bigger deeper meaning stuff that I mean. For instance, grad was nothing like I had planned so many years ago. Not saying that grad was bad or anything. I just mean that when I pictured grad long ago, like all girls do [or most at least], I was in Yellowknife for grad. I saw myself with my best friend, Mecole, getting ready with her, taking a zillion pictures and just as many memories, etc. etc. I did not see me in Red Deer, with Shannon instead of Mecole. I loved grad. I really did. It just made me sad to think that Mecole was doing it, miles away, without me. High school would be another thing. Although that kind of does fall hand in hand with the aformentioned topic, so I won't stretch it out. It's also wierd to see which friends you end up with, and which you don't. Some are a given; like Steph, we don't talk much anymore but we'll always be friends; and Shannon, I doubt we'll ever stop being friends. But others get lost along the way. Some end up being less than you hoped. Everyone experiences that though. Some things are small. For instance, living in Yellowknife and all, I liked snowmobiling and boating. We owned a boat, and it was fun to steer and all. So I always thought I would get my boating license and skidooing license before I got my driving license. And here I am, skidooless and boatless, with a car. Funny how life turns out. Another area would be the infamous what-will-I-do-with-the-rest-of-my-life planning process. I had thought, in grade nine [oh so long ago!] that by the time I was my age, now, I would at least have some sort of roughly sketched plan in the works. I was as indecisive then as I am now. Sure, I have inklings on what I want to do, what I plan to see, where I want to live, etc, but nothing etched in stone. I think I prefer it that way, almost at least. Moreso than having my whole life planned ahead of me. Some people are like that, naming their kids before they are born, what job they want, what kind of person to marry, and I just can't plan like that. Which, I admit, sucks sometimes. Would I wish to have such a plan sometimes. It seems so fitting that I am taking grade thirteen next year. I hate to see my friends go their separate ways, as they know what they want in life and are going out to take it. Some have already left down their chosen paths. Only Steff remains with me. Ah yes, my forever faithful master, who loves me and will never leave me... *clings* |
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