Read this first: Please note that this section is entirely satirical, and almost none of it has any
pertinence to reality at all. If you email me regarding the truthfullness of any of these statements I will either delete your email before reading it or have a good hearty chortle at your buffoonery. I have
no idea why this section is here, but people seem to find it amusing.
1. What does the 'Z' in 'Dragonball Z' stand for?
Unbeknowst to most DBZ fans, Akira Toriyama was a huge Scooby Doo fan back in the day, and added the 'Z' to represent the popularly used expression "Zoinks!"
2. What does the 'GT' in 'Dragonball GT' stand for?
Gran Turismo. Akira Toriyama was a member of the popular PlayStation game's production staff,
and decided to add 'GT' to the end of the last Dragonball series in order to give the game some free
publicity.
3. I have been told by every official company involved in Dragonball that Akira Toriyama
did not have any role in the production of Dragonball GT except as a character design
consultant. Oh wise one, is this true?
That is nothing but wish-wash, flummery, and bombast! Not only did Akira Toriyama do more than
serve as a character design consultant, he actually drew the entire series by hand and did all the
voice acting. Why does everyone have this so wrong?
4. You run a very popular Dragonball site. Are you the ones who make/edit/voice/animate
the series?
Of course we do! How else could we have this website?
5. How many times does Goku die in Dragonball?
What a silly question, friendly visitor! Goku is dead throughout all of the Dragonball series. In the
seldom seen prequel to Dragonball (nameds No Yakeho) it is explained that Goku is actually a
dead robot from a post-apocalyptic future, pulled back through time in order to save a large portion
of western South America from the zombie Nazis bent on conquering it.
6. What is the 'deal' with the alternate futures?
Well there is no 'deal', so to speak. Time in Dragonball is linear, meaning that one cannot travel
back or forth within time, and that there are no separate branches of time. This is indeed a plot hole
when No Yakeho is taken into account, and some people think it conflicts with both the story of
Trunks and Cell, but they are quite wrong. Following in the footsteps of Goku, Trunks is a robot
by Dr. Willow, who did not in fact die in Movie #1, but survived and then established a
kingdom on the Earth's second moon (which is why he was not affected when Piccolo destroyed
Earth's first moon).
7. Why does Kuririn have no nose?
Well first of all, you might as well get your spellings straight. Kuririn is not the way to spell the name
of the bald stubby fellow, but instead it is spelled Crylon, a pun by Toriyama on nylon and crayons
(his son first came up with the character design for Crylon by drawing on one of Toriyama's nylon
shirts with a set of crayons he got for his birthday). Now that we've worked that out, I can explain
Crylon's origin. He was originally created by the East African government in No Yakeho, which
was hoping to spawn a breed of super human amphibious soldiers who could save them from the
threat of the Mongolian Aryans under the leadership of Regis Philbin (Toriyama often likes to 'poke
fun' at American popular culture figures). Kuririn was created as cross between a monk and a trout
and was indeed given super human strength, but as a drawback he has no nose (instead he has gills
beneath his shoulder blades).
8. When will Toriyama come out with another Dragon Ball series?
Why he already has! You see, 'Dragonball DB' has already been released in Japan, along with it's
counterpart 'Dragonball X' (which is aimed at older audiences). In addition, a Cambodian version of
a newer series has been released. However, we do not have much information regarding it, except
that it is the first of the Dragonball series whose title does not contain the word Dragonball. Instead,
it is titled 'Super On Top Magical Sonic Power Flat Plateau'! Though much of it is still shrowded in
mystery, we hear that the main character is named 'Price Feister'.
9. If Piccolo and Kami are the same person, then why is Kami older than Piccolo?
The same person, you say? Hah, that's worth a jolly good guffaw indeed! Piccolo and Kami are not
in the least the same person! Piccolo is actually a Saiya-jin that was born hideously disfigured so
that he appeared to be a Namek. This discrepancy is cleared up in Movie #14, which is a
Taiwan-only release.
10. I heard that Goku has a second son named Goten and he looks exactly like Goku. Is
this true?
No, you asinine ninny! A robot cannot produce a child, as any dullard knows. We all know that
Goku built Gohan out of leaves and flint, and then used the magical power of Gyuu Mayo (a
secretive wizard living on Paozu Yama) to bring him to life, but that was the end of family for Goku.
11. Lots of websites are saying that FUNimation is censoring Dragonball. Are they?
If by 'websites' you mean homeless druggies living the dumpsters out behind Dillards, then perhaps
you're right. Of course Dragonball is not being censored in the US release. FUNimation is merely
implimenting what I like to call "angry-parents technology". By this, they attempt to evade the wrath
of the many American parents who can't stand to have their children exposed to such "decrepit filth"
as seeing blood when someone gets punch in the stomach and their attacker's arm travels all the
way through their torso. This is not censoring at all, but rather is "making the series safe for easily
influenced American children who shoot each other because they played Doom� when they were
six".
12. Is Dragonball also a comic?
How very humdrum you are; there is no such comic! Rather, the series is based very loosely on a
live action movie called "Dragonball: The Adventure Begins".
13. Is "Daizenshuu EX" a subsection of your website?
Yes, we added it three weeks ago.
14. What's a Goku?
I've already answered this (see question 5). I can't believe people have the gall to waste my
tremendously important time with their tomfoolery and flapdoodle.
15. Why is this section not funny?
You must suffer from some variety of mental incapacitation, as that is the only possible explanation
(unless you are blind, and are unable to read the section).
16. Why are you so stupid ? Can you tell me that ? Sure the site is cool , but you're not
funny . It would seem that you're rather insane , crazy , stupid , any thing that describes
insane , but not funny . Get my drift ? I probably could answer every question on that list,
right. Could you ?
-------------------------------Sincerely, A person a whole lot smarter than you.
Your question is less than satisfactory, but I will answer it anyway since I feel obligated to share my
benevolent wisdom. First off, let's clear up the wording of your email. By "stupid", you obviously
mean "fantastically intelligent." So, in answer to your question, I have spent countless centuries
honing my knowledge. If you are indeed more intelligent than myself, however unlikely that may be,
it is certainly not conveyed in your email. Your command of the English language is similar to that of
a gorilla using sign language (hopefully none of our gorilla readers will take offense at that).
17. What's the deal with the two cats? There's a blue one that hovers around Yamcha, and
an old white one that grows Senzu beans or something. How can they talk and everything?
They're not cats, you blatherskite! Since when can cats fly? The only possible way to explain their
flight is that Pool and Corn (the two "cats") are obviously birds in disguise. This is hinted towards in
Daizenshuu #12, where Toriyama provides a picture of a canary with the face of Corn.
19. What is that stupid cloud thing?
You are asking about the flying nimbus. Known in the Japanese version as Taiyouken, there are
several flying clouds throughout the series. It is a means of transportation used only by the rich.
Goku stole his when he went haywire and started reciting 'Johnny five, come alive!" rapidly while
looting various Expensive Lifestyle stores. However, in conflict with my hypothesis, some others
seem to suggest that the cloud is constructed from urine, thus giving it an appropriately yellow
coloration. I say that's poppycock.
20. Why does ChiChi always have PMS?
Chichi does not in fact constantly have PMS, but I can understand where you gathered this false
information from. In actuality, Chichi is a chimpanzee in a human suit. Her terrible attitude comes
from her frustration at not being able to hurl feces when she reaches ill temperment, as most
monkies like to do. The human suit prevents this, keeping her constantly cross and quick mouthed.
As is seen in tankouban #43 (Holiday Special), Goku expresses his regret at having married
someone from a different species, and considers briefly running off with Android #16.
21. How does Piccolo create clothes? Such examples are when his cape and turban appear
out of nowhere on various occasions and when he has created various gi's for Gohan in a
matter of seconds. How does he do it?
Piccolo isn't creating clothes per se (note my intelligent use of Latin), instead he is using Capsule
Coporation capsules. In an unofficial guidebook, I learned that Piccolo was in fact in a circus before
the series began, and is skilled at sleight of hand. He originally worked as sideshow, where people
would pay to "punch the ugly green dork," but grew fed up with what he considered a less than
satisfying profession, so began doing close up magic in a different act.
22. If Piccolo is stronger then Kami-sama then why doesn't he just make his own
dragon balls?
Piccolo is a Saiyajin and cannot create Dragonballs. I already went over this in question nine, you
mutton headed dizzard.
23. How old is Goku when Dragonball Z ends.
Due to the imprecise nature of time in Dragonball Z, I had to formulate an extremely educated
estimation for this. I think that Goku is precisely three billion years old when Dragonball Z ends. I
gathered this from my calculations involving the time it would take for Enema-sama (the giant in
heaven who decides if the visitors go to heaven or hell) to guide everyone to their proper
destination. I then took that number and multiplied by the number of hours I have played Diablo II
for good measure. Other sites may give what they like to call a more accurate figure, but in actuality
they are just trumping up something of which they know next to nothing.
24. (I have never seen DBZ before.) All my friends are talking about how Krillen is so
weak! You say it is because he is a trout-monk. I told them this and they just laughed.
What is so funny?
Nothing is funny about this. Your friends are just a bunch of bumbling idiots.
25. Why does Vegeta transform into King Kong?
Though this phenomena is never explained, the most likely explanation is that Akira Toriyama had
run out of ideas for "cool" and "hip" new powerups, and the local TV station was airing some kind
of monster movie marathon.
26. There have been rumors about Goku going SSJ5 in a Dragonball AF. I don't think
Goku never reaches this level, but I could be wrong. What do you think?
First off, let's address the obvious error in your question. Where you state "What do you think?",
you obviously meant "What do you know?", because, due to my immense wisdom, anything I say
instantly becomes a fact. Forgiving your insolence, however, let's move on to the question raised by
your email. Goku does not in fact go SSJ5 in Dragonball AF (the AF stands for Angry Froggy).
Goku skips the level of Super Saiyajin five and powers up directly to Super Saiyajin Arbuckle
mode. Here is an exclusive and totally authentic picture of SSJA Goku:
27. If Goku is 3 billion years old than how come he is married to a girl (Chichi) that is a lot
younger than him?
This question is actually answered in Dragonball AF (see #26), where Goku states "I like them
young and fiesty."
28. What is Dragonball X like?
Dragonball X isn't a series per se (again, intelligent use of Latin). After my original mention of it (see
#8), some discrepancies were cleared up. It seems that the X in Dragonball X stands for "Xtra," a
variation on the word "Extra." It is a collage of many different Dragonabll scenes, most of them too
"edgy" and "risqu�" to make the TV broadcast. I will avoid going into further detail and spoiling the
surprise for those of you who wish to see the series for yourself, but rest assured that it is a very
intellectually stimulating piece of work.
29. Why does Mr. Satan have an afro?! Dragonball was around in the the 90's and afro's
have been out of style for a good time. Did Toriyama forget this?!!
Out of style indeed! Perhaps, you thick-skulled dolt, you've heard of such a thing as the time
difference between the US and Japan. While here in New York it's 7:30 PM, 2000, in Japan it's
7:30 AM 1976. This time difference causes what may appear out of style to us to be just what's
"cool" and "hip" in Japan. I'd have to say that there are both stupid questions and stupid people.
30. What's the deal with Tien and Chiatsu (No clue how to spell these)? My theory is that
they were a cheap sideshow act alongside Piccolo in the circus. Am I correct?
My theory is that you are a moron. Ten and Chapsti (as the names are correctly spelled) were a
spoof of the popular American superheroes, the X-men. Toriyama though that he could create a
hilarious parody of those mutant freaks, and he most definitely succeeded!
31. What is Dragonball X about? How would the series continue if in the last episode of
Draonball GT "Till We Meet Again" the dragon "Shenlon" quotes that they can never
use the Dragonballs again because they used to many wishes?
Fool! No plot continuity discrepancy can stand between a corporation and its potential profits!
What actually happens is that the entire earth gets pulled back through time (a huge plothole) to the
year 1776. The awesome forces of the Z-teamers combined are able to stop the creation of the
Declaration of Independance. America remains under the iron boot of the British until 1880, so by
the time World War II starts America is not developed enough to enter and the Nazis conquer all of
Europe while Kami-sama is forced to grant them special "zombie powers." This explains why
Crylon was first created in No Yakeho.
32. How did you get so smart? My friend has seen the entire series, and he doesn't know
half as much as you.
Though my intelligence is unparalleled (except by the other Planet Namek staff members), this more
an issue of your friend being a moronic boob with no mental capacity other than to press the 'Play'
button on the VCR and to almost finish tying his left before he forgets the mneumonic device.
33. Whats with the Tree of Might? Also is it just me or is Piccolo wearing paper bags on
his feat?
What is this, 20 questions? The Tree of Might is a gigantic tree on a distant planet named ݥ��.
The tree spawns fruit which turn into mighty warriors and attempt to take over the galaxy, but are
foiled before they even reach the Earth. Another breed of aliens known as the Buggers use a
weapon called the "little doctor" to blow up the entire species' fleet and then destroy ݥ��. This
string of episodes is particularly spirtually oriented relative to other Dragonball episodes.
Now, to your Piccolo question. Piccolo is wearing special anti-gravity boots that allow him to fly.
Under normal circumstances, mutated Saiyajin, unlike every other race in the galaxy are totally
unable to suspend themselves more than a couple inches above the ground. Those "paper bags" are
in fact called "booby boots." Though the name doesn't describe their function, it is another use of
eccentric names by Toriyama.
34. i was reading your very retarded Questions and answers and i think its plain out
retarded. goku dead for the hole dragonball z and gt haha. a robot? how can a robot go to
super sayain? and ive seen goten. and whats up with this GT is grand trouismo and crylin
its kurillin he has a hat that says it on it and how can picclo be a sayain? and if chi-chi is a
monkey than y did'nt goku know and i live in japan and ive been practicly every were in
the asian nation theres no dragonball AF or X and ive herd of X its supost to be a prono
site like www.dragonballX.com.NOW stope lieing
I see someone's been feasting on the wall candy (paint chips).
35. If Piccolo is a saiyan-jin, how can he permanently fuse with Kami?
If you had half a brain (which you obviously don't), you'd know that all Saiya-jin can fuse with
Nameks. Through what is called the "Doppler Effect," the two races can merge into a single being
with a single mind permanently. Alternately, each member for the fusion can don a May Special
over their groins to use the gonad-fuse powerup, which will form a permanent bond that also
increases power.
36. I think you spelled Crylon's name wrong. In Japanese that would be something like
Kurairon or something. I don't know Japanese, and I am an idiot, so I must be mistaken,
because your infinite knowledge must surpass my peanut shell sized brain.
I love it when they do all the work for me, but you forgot to use a ridiculously esoteric and insulting
adjective.
37. Who is pan?
Pan, or Pan-chunk, as she is commonly called by her friends, is one of the more interesting
characters in Dragonball (the original series). She is originally one of the top officers in the Red Riot
army, but soon falls victim to betrayal by her boss Mao Zedong. After quitting, she meets up with
Dr. Willow and is soon given a robotic body which she uses to conquer the seven kings of Europe
after travelling back in time to No Yakeho. By this time, however, Regis has already begun
advancing into Morocco, and Pan must go on a heroic quest to stop him. This is covered in VAO's
2 through 5 which contain many magnificent battle scenes and introduce a few instrumental
characters to the later series, such as Captain Aperture and Grille Pitch Man.
38. If Goku only has one son, where does Goten come from?
Goten is actually Goku's mechanical father (hence the name Son Goku). Goten has a normal robot
life span of 800 years, and then dies in a fiery inferno of a plane crash. As explained in a special
interview with Toriyama (which appears in Dragonball Z OVA #4), a robot can "beget" sons by
building them out of spare parts. Personally, I think he made this amendment to clear up that
discrepancy in the series, but we may never know.
39. Oh wise one, what in holy hell is that black thing with big eyes that hangs around with
Dr. Briefs supposed to be? I know you can answer this one as you are the greatest genius
in the world!
It is Dr. Briefs's novelty foam hat. He wears it backwards so that he can say "I have eyes in the
back of my head" and have a jolly good laugh.
40. If Kururin is a buddhist monk then why does he look at pornography?
Apparently your idiot teachers have not educated you in religion yet. Pornography is a fine and
instrumental part of almost every major religion. Take this quote which may or may not have been
excerpted from the Bible "And then Keating looked at the fine figure of the uncloth�d woman, and it
was appropriate, accepted, and encouraged." Roarks, 22:36.
41. I've watched so many DBZ movies and shows it's not even funny and I've noticed that
they change Goku's name frequently. Why do they do this?
My only recommendation is that you stop taking drugs and getting arrested for indecent exposure.
I am very tired and I can't think straight. Brain no function sleep without. Laziness no function
elaborate stories with.
