but not a thought of sleep
it is obscenely late but
the bitter coffee and a lot of chocolate is
turning its coins in my stomach bubbles
I decide it's time to turn to my remedy
she moves -- her presence against my buttocks
light - but effective
I think if only I could think she was someone else --
someone of a sexual nature
I think
I think
I make her ___
It is indulgent -
yet a glorious thought occurs to me.
She does not know I make her ___.
She's probably half to sleep at this point
-- even conscious, fully unaware of my thought...
I imagine him - there -
secretly
It is my secret imagination causing me to grin
on the inside
she knows not!
My casing -- lays there,
flaccid, a bundle of flesh unmoving
on the outside, I am a content being
on the inside, I am kissing him