In light of the constant battle conservative Christians are waging against Harry Potter, the Freethought Mecca was interested in Islamic objections to certain children's shows or books. We already know that you can be flogged in certain Islamic states for drinking coffee from a Miss Piggy mug, but what about some of the more recent stars in the world of children's television and literature? As we searched the Islamic seminaries from Qum to Baluchistan in search of a proper madrasa-cation, we came across Abdul-Khinzeer Kalb'ullaah's fatwa against Blues Clues.
Dr. Kalb'ullaah is an eminent Islamic scholar from Khamrabad, a little-known wine-producing village in Pakistan. He has since moved to New York City, where he has become one of the more respected experts on shariah. What follows is the complete text of Dr. Kalb'ullaah's latest fatwa. The text was originally published in the popular international Islamic journal Kaafireen, Sahyuneen, Mushrikeen, which is devoted to exposing the subtle and not-so-subtle crimes committed by Americans, Israelis, and Indian Hindus.
I recently endured 30 minutes on the filthy kaafir-infested subway to visit my cousin's apartment in Queens. When I entered the apartment, I was astonished that my cousin would sink so low as to have a television, a haram device, in his home! Worse yet, he was allowing his kids to watch it! ASTAGHFIRULLAAH!
Instantly I shielded my eyes from the blasphemous images (only Allaah can create, and to mimic creation with images is to commit shirk) by putting my Qur'an in front of my face. As I stood there, kitaab pressed against my nose, I heard a strange squeaky sort of noise. I lowered the book to see where the sound was coming from, and it was emanating from that cursed kufr box.
It has already been established that those who own televisions will be tormented in the grave, and angels wont visit their home, et cetera. I'm not here to discuss the evils of television, as anyone who ponders Allaah's creation knows that it is evil. I am instead here to discuss the show my cousin was allowing his little children to watch: Blues Clues.
Many of you may allow your children to watch this evil show. This message is for you liberal self-hating Muslims that allow your kids to watch the kufr box: if you are going to put your kids on the road to apostasy by putting them in front of Shaytaan's video machine, at least shield their eyes from the wicked show "Blues Clues." Show them an Ahmed Deedat video instead!
First, at the start of the show, the human star ("Steve," an obvious non-believer, and possibly even a Zionist!) sings a song that includes the words "and we can do... ANYTHING... that we wanna do..." ASTAGHFIRULLAAH! We cannot do anything we want! We can only do what Allaah, subhana wa t'ala, allows and permits us to do! Can we eat pork if we want to? ASTAGHFIRULLAAH! Of course we cannot, less we want to taste the fires of Jahannam!
Furthermore, the real star of the show is a dog named "Blue." In case you self-hating munafiqeen forgot, dogs are considered dirty in Islam! An angel wont visit your home if you have a dog in it, and an angel wont visit your home if you have a picture in it, thus by extension angels will avoid your home if you have images of dogs in it (like a haram Blues Clues video!). Blues Clues encourages kids to like dogs. Furthermore, the little mutt speaks! It is more than a dog, but actually a dog possessed by a jinn, or even a jinn in the form of a dog! This animal is friends with the Zionist Mushrik "Steve."
Furthermore, there is the issue of finding clues, and using the Western kufr system called "logic." Why are the Muslims so anxious to mimic the kuffaar? Obviously because they are raised on haram shows like "Blues Clues," where a crafty Yahood promotes the virtues of kufr systems created by the Western infidel like "logic." Nowhere in the Qur'an or ahaadeeth can you find the words "deduction," "induction," or "abduction," thus "logic" is an anti-Islamic system!
Yet further, has anyone noticed that when "Steve" says thank you, he touches his chin? He is doing sign language! Why use sign language? Why not speak in Arabic or Urdu (God's languages) instead? Is it too much for this Zionist baby-killer to say "shukraan" and keep his hands by his sides? Obviously this is a racist and Islamophobic program, and it is thus haram to watch it! Furthermore, the use of sign language is to further encourage deafness, so the muttaqeen will not hear the call to prayer! Fiendish Zionist animals are planning, but Allaah, subhana wa t'ala, is the best of planners!
Also, has anyone seen the Blues Clues holiday special? It actually taught children to tolerate the disgusting pagan festivals of the kuffaar! First there was Christmas, a "holiday" that celebrates the alleged birth of the "god" (astaghfirullah!) and "son of god" (astaghfirullah again!) of the Christian religion. Maybe you self-hating pseudo-Muslims want your children being influenced by the sinful celebrations of the Nasara Tri-theist Mushrikeen. I for one know that God hs no son. He neither begets nor was He begotten!
Then there was a piece on Channukah, proving that "Steve" is a Zionist. Then they had a portion on Kwanza. Let it be known that Kwanza is not an official Islamic holiday. Yes, some Muslims celebrate this "holiday" (which originates with the animist infidels that the Mujahideen, insha'llaah, will convert, eradicating these customs), but only pseudo-Muslims do so! As we all know, the sort of "Muslims" that engage in such customs are buffoons, cretins and witless crayfish who only go to the masjid to steal other people's shoes.
Also, anyone notice that when female guests are on, they don't cover? Why is that? Yet another sign of racism and Islamophobia, not to mention rabid sexual misconduct! Petition your television station to digitally add hijaabs to all female guests, or else boycott the show (the digital enhancement is easy now that Steven Spielberg has given up Zionism and has embraced Islam, TAKBIR!).
I could go on, but I think you have enough reasons right here why you should not allow your kids to watch "Blues Clues." Ultimately we must accept the fact that any Muslim who continues to show "Blues Clues" videos to his children is an apostate, and is waging war against Allaah.