A
United State of Ashrams
by Ibn Hoja
More
and more, Americans are coming to recognize the disastrous effects that
our “spiritual void” is having- and are seeking alternative “solutions”
like school prayer (as well as posting the ten commandments) to enact a
new culture of peace and harmony. Our brothers and sisters in enlightenment,
the Christians, are recognizing the imminent arrival of the third millennium,
and realize that we cannot let another millennium pass without rectifying
the incalculable harm violence has leveled upon our fragile world.
As
the election looms, and the media drives us towards time-worn un-solutions
in the guise of the Gores and the Bushes, all true seekers of enlightenment
are forced to look elsewhere for solutions that don’t come from hype, polls,
and mammoth corporations. Yes, as all you who are reading this and
had a precognition from your yogic training know, the solution lies solely
in transcendental meditation™.
With
all due respect to those who have proposed prayer as the panacea, we can
understand your deference to the Spirit-Teacher Jesus- but even he recommends
meditation now, after having been instructed by the Space Brothers over
the past 2,000 years. Only mass meditation will allow us to redirect
the chakric energy fields, which in disharmony result in a karmic snow
ball effect, which to say the least is very, very bad- in fact, quite
simply the SOLE CAUSE of every act of violence ever to have been committed
since Cain and Abel.
The
Natural Law Party ( http://www.natural-law.org/
) is the only party willing to point out that our society’s problems will never
be solved unless we make an investment in TM™ (preferably $40 to $100 per capita,
made out to the dispeller of darkness, sage of prana and purana, our dear Maharishi).
John Hagelin, Natural Law’s contender for the U.S. presidency, is the only candidate
who is willing to take a courageous stand on the Balkans, among other pressing
issues- pointing out that if the U.S. had 7000 yogic flyers meditating over Balkan
airspace (“the 7000th monkey phenomenon”) Muslims, Croats, Serbs, and Albanians
would find themselves drifting inevitably towards peace, with no ground troops
needed whatsoever.
Some skeptical types have questioned the wisdom of such an approach, but
what they don’t realize is that their skepticism can set off negative vibrations
which will, in turn, mitigate the harmonizing effect of the meditation.
Cold-hearted skepticism is part and parcel of the problem, as is the unfounded
belief in the efficacy of prayer.
Whereas
prayer doesn’t have any quantum effects to speak of, meditation has the
ability to grant every need of mankind, through the ability of the mind
to reconstruct objects out of matter’s property of virtual emptiness, as
proved by the “magical” abilities of great saints like Sai Baba.
While it is somewhat disheartening to think that millions could have avoided
horrible torturous deaths in wars if only there had been more practitioners
of transcendental meditation™
out and about the world, it’s true nonetheless, as we know from no less
a personage than the great Maharishi.
If
we had transcendental meditation in every single classroom, there would
have never have been a spate of school shootings, just as if we had it
in every bunker, the world wars wouldn’t have lasted over a day. And the
religious wars, between Protestants and Catholics, Christians and Muslims-
each side praying for victory- would have never occurred as meditation
makes lucidly clear the absolute oneness of all of mankind and the universe.
Americans...
nay, all have a choice- we can either steer down the trodden path, or levitate
towards a bold new future of higher consciousness and psycho kinesis.
But this rosy future can only be ours if we mix the ashram with the state.
Namaste!
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Friday, January 5, 2001
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