You can't expect much from the boob tube, I suppose.

One quiet afternoon I decided to indulge my nafs (lower nature) and lo and behold magical beams, transmitted by I know not what means, invaded the sanctity of my home. Little geniis appeared on the screen and spoke to me great revelations, for which I, of course, gave them great thanks through ritual sacrifice and exquisite cooking dedicated to the most high Goddess... Martha Stewart.

At least, I would if Oprah had her way. It seems in one of her more "prophetic" statements she claims that the spirit is like radio waves. Just because you don't see them doesn't mean they don't exist.

And Oprah's right. I can't see radio waves, or for that matter gamma rays, X-rays, or infrared. Humans have a limited range of vision, and are only able to see a fraction of the electromagnetic radiation that exists. My epistemic way of knowing that these other rays exist is through the scientific method, and by my strong hope that it wasn't spiritual waves transmitting Oprah's visage across the continent, enlightening countless viewer after viewer with her assortment of gurus.

Actually I take that back, since I was healed by Pat Robertson and the 700 Club through the television set. You see before I was HIV positive, and of course they prayed for my healing... (Ok, this is apocryphal, although it would be interesting to find out if Mr. Robertson had ever cared to direct the healing powerz of Gawd to the AIDS-struck.)

An alternate form of Oprah's argument, if I am allowed to use the term loosely, is that we can't see atoms, so how can we say that atoms exist and Gawd doesn't? I think it a case of imperfect similes, unless scientists were just playing a monumental practical joke, culminating in one group actually spelling "IBM" with individual atoms, observing them through scanning-tunneling microscopes.

Perhaps God will decide to rearrange the galaxies so that they will spell s/h/its name (they probably already do- except its only readable in Klingon script, as they are God's chosen aliens). In the meantime, my provisional understanding will have to chalk God's existence up to more earthly exigencies.

Radio waves are observable. Atoms are observable. God...spirit...heaven...angels- well, I would suggest Oprah use her millions to fund research to prove the situation is analogous. Although I am sure she would find a multitude who think they already have such observations and know what Gawd's will is with her money, I think it less likely to find much agreement among their observations. But I am sure there are thousands of scientists who don't think atoms or radio waves exist, and there is a great controversy raging among scientists as we speak about invisible waves.

Well, in an alternate universe that is...

I am not sure what I was thinking, or if I was thinking at all, but I e-mailed Oprah with the smallest piece of my mind (and when you have a mind as small as mine, that's gosh darn miniscule!). I remembered that by her divine fiat books become best-sellers, so I thought to respond to her with a request, or to be more exact, a prayer:

Dear Oprah,

After having seen part of your interview with Gary Zukav [Author of The Seat of the Soul-which will change your life! Honest! Changed mine!], I came away discomfited with the uncritical credence given to his claims, in addition to the testimonials of the other guests interviewed. I also took issue with your statement that we are unable to see radio waves, and that the situation of the spiritual realm is analogous.

But the purpose of my letter is not to dissuade you, nor to rebut point by point the claims of Gary Zukav, nor anyone else. Instead it is to suggest a possible topic, which I think would be of interest to anyone with concern for human rights, or more importantly human wrongs.

Regardless of whether one believes in a spiritual realm, I think it can be agreed that there are numerous cases where such a realm has been used to justify irrational hatreds, phobias, and injustices.

Most pronounced in the modern world are the abuses perpetuated in the name of a resurgent Islam. This is not to single out Islam, for no doubt similar charges can be raised against many other traditions. It is just that Islam is more prone to literal interpretations by its adherents.

My suggestion for you would to have guests such as Taslima Nasreen, who have suffered because of belief in the "spiritual realm." While we have the luxury in the United States to indulge in all sorts of spiritual experimentation, to believe the Gary Zukavs, or more importantly not believe the Gary Zukavs- it must be noted that in Bangladesh there is no such right.

Contrary to the Qu'ran, which states that "There is no compulsion in religion," there are scores of Islamic Literalists who would beg to differ- even to the point of sentencing Taslima Nasreen to death.

I would encourage you to read Nasreen's novels and perhaps consider adding them to your book club reading list.

Thank you for your time.

[Note: Disregard that.  I picked up "Lajja"- Shame.  Quite possibly it is the sorriest book in all of creation.  For a novel it reads rather as a manifesto, and is less than artistic.  Although certainly when I get a chance I would be interested in reading her other works.]